To: Spike
From: Wesley

> > Ah yes. Good point.  Although... I don't know. I somehow had the
> > impression that Angelus was more talkative than Angel is.
> 
> Oh yeah. Much. Also a lot more ... whimsical. But still not what you
> might call articulate. 

Interesting to see which personality traits last even with the soul.

> > You could say you were killing them in a manner symbolic of the 
> > conflict in the Middle East.
> 
> I could, yes. Maybe I could get an NEA grant.

But then you'd have the money to fix up the crypt and it would loose that
charming Old World flavor.

> > Well for starters it doesn't say a damned thing about the happiness
> > clause.  If I'm translating it correctly the spell does cover finding
> > the vampire's soul, channeling it through the Orb and "carrying" it to
> > him, but there's nothing specific regarding what would break the
> > curse.  
> 
> Weird. You'd think that was the kind of thing you'd need to spell out.

It should be. I suspect that part of the problem may be that they did not
need to spell it out in the same way that one would when speaking a spell
in, say, English.  Again this is where translation is key.

> > It's my theory for the moment, at least.
> 
> Um, Wesley? Keep in mind that this version of the spell may not *have* a
> happiness clause. Unlike the original, that gypsy teacher bint wasn't
> out to punish Angel so much as to make it up to Giles and Buffy. So she
> might have left that bit out on purpose. 

Entirely possible. Which is why I am looking forward to speaking with
Willow. She would know more than I about this version of the spell and
what is inside of it.  With the understanding, of course, that her
knowledge is limited due to Ms. Calendar's untimely death.

> Yes. But Angelus killed her, and then Willow found the spell in her
> notes or something. We don't know for sure that it was finished. Though
> Red was more obsessing on fresh ingredients and pronunciation and all
> that shit. 

Ingredients and pronunciation would - could - be key.  Again, I'll have to
speak with her to find out.

> Yeah, that sums up what she said pretty well.  If it's any comfort, I
> really don't think she's holding a grudge about the Mayor incident.

That's something, at least.  It allows me to attempt to stand up for my
own merits right now.  I don't mind that. I'm glad for the opportunity.

> Exact words were something like, "Can't blame him for that. It's not
> like we were best buds or anything. I'd swap him for an ounce of eye of
> newt and a decent crucible in a second, let alone a
> save-the-world-thingie." 

Yes. That sounds like her.

> > Truly?  Excellent.  Thank you, Spike.  Please, by all means, pass my
> > address along to her and let her know I am at her disposal.
> 
> I will. Though maybe not in those exact words, lest she be tempted to
> dispose of you.

Thank you.

> > Oh no!  No, by all means I will not perform the curse!  I don't have
> > the ability!  Minor magics and spells, yes, but I haven't the talent
> > for something if this magnitude.  
> 
> She knows that. But you could find someone who did.

If you feel it appropriate to say so you may wish to tell her that should
I ever have such a desire she would be the first person that I would speak
with or ask to perform it.

> > Of course.  I would do the same in her position.
> 
> She wasn't sure. She said, um, when you were there before, that you did
> a fair bit of asserting and always seemed surprised when they felt
> entitled to question it, and she doesn't have the time or the patience
> to go through that again. 

Yes. As I said - I was rather pompous back then.  Thought that working for
the Watchers meant a lot more than it did.  Everything she says is true. I
shan't deny it.

> > So yes - I agree to all terms.  And again, thank you, Spike.
> 
> Welcome. Any time. I want to know too, you know.

I know. But I prefer to keep my gratitude selfishly. It provides me with
excuses to show it.

> > Poetry?  You were a poet, Spike?
> 
> Not as such, no. Imagine the worst, soppiest forced rhymes you could
> possibly concieve of, and double it. Unfond as I was of the gentleman on
> the recieving end of my railroad spike for pointing it out so audibly, I
> have to admit that reading him the poems would probably have been the
> crueller fate. 

It's such a contradiction from the image that you show now.  Yet I can see
it.  You've a fair share of a romantic side to you.  I'm sorry the
gentleman in question insulted it.

> > Do you know there are actually - if memory serves me right - three
> > instances of people being tortured with railroad spikes on Watcher
> > records that were attributed to you?  I don't have the books in front
> > of me to quote them to you, but I do remember reading of them.  
> 
> Might have been me, I suppose. I did attempt it once or twice more, like
> I said. Always gave it up pretty early on, compared to that first one,
> but I suppose it'd still count. Or maybe I've got a copycat out there
> somewhere. I don't mind. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and
> all that. 

If I ever find the references again I'll be sure to show you.

> > Doesn't?  How so?
> 
> I suppose they pay him a salary, and we *were* in England to access
> their records, but that was at their invitation. In general, it doesn't
> seem to occur to him to tap the Council for any extraordinary equipment
> or even information, even in quite extraordinary situations. 

Perhaps he's trying to keep them as hands-off as possible. Take 
advantage of the money, as you say - and it is a fair sum - but make sure
that they do not become involved with Buffy's life again.

> > I'm sure he would but... my interests don't lie in that area.
> 
> Children as a goal, or women as a method?

Children as a goal.  I thought about it in the past but truly only because
it was expected of me. I haven't much desire in that area right now.

> > I think there are those who would disagree with you.  But to at least
> > answer your question of why I do things now that I did not back
> > then... Well being fired was a part of it.  But so was seeing how
> > everyone worked in Sunnydale. Seeing how they didn't hide behind books
> > and rules and instead rolled up their sleeves and attempted to make a
> > difference.
> 
> That makes sense. I know you don't want them all to know the details of
> your life now, but I think they'd be flattered and surprised to know
> that you'd noticed, let alone admired anything about them enough to let
> it make a difference in your own actions. 

I - I joined them against the Mayor.  It's enough.

> > That's why I attempted to do something similar on my own, after I left
> > Sunnydale.  And then of course in Los Angeles I met up with this
> > vampire.  This rather attractive vampire...
> 
> Can't imagine who you'd be referring to. That poncy Angel with the hair
> gel addiction is the only vampire in LA I know, and fuck knows he's not
> attractive at all... 

You say that only because you have not seen him smile.

> > Quite true.  And Cordy is a good person in her own right.  Even
> > without the visions I would consider her a valuable member of the
> > team.
> 
> Wasn't she a member before the visions? I mean, back when your demon,
> what's his face, was around? Not the telepathic one. 

Doyle.  And yes, she was, though it's my understanding that it was a more
limited role.  I'm a bit sketchy on the details as it's before I joined
and Angel and Cordy both don't care to speak of it overmuch.  Doyle's
death was painful to the both of them.

> > I have to imagine that Willow and I must have a very similar bookmarks
> > file.
> 
> Probably. All I know is, its bloody amazing what she can find on the
> net. Me, it takes half an hour just to find somethin' utterly obvious,
> and half the time the page isn't there anymore. 

I could always teach you.

> > And what would those be, if you were here?
> 
> Bring you flowers, or presents, or both.

Not necessary, though of course it would be appreciated.

> Take you out, wherever you wanted.

Darts and perhaps Caritas.

> Make a lot of eye contact. Give you a lot of kisses. 

That sounds... acceptable.

> Trounce you thoroughly at darts, just to keep you off balance. 

In your dreams.

> Give you a massage. 

You'll compete with Angel there, I think.

> And a lot more kisses. Stroke your hair. Stroke your neck. Kiss your
> throat. 

Very acceptable.

> Press up against you, and growl "I want you" in your ear. 

A shame you aren't here.

Wesley

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> Interesting to see which personality traits last even with the soul.

Truthfully, most of 'em seem to, in some form. Except that joy. And I'm
hoping that comes out to play too, on occasion. You'd know better than I.

> But then you'd have the money to fix up the crypt and it would loose
> that charming Old World flavor.

Really, really Old World. True.

> It should be. I suspect that part of the problem may be that they did
> not need to spell it out in the same way that one would when speaking a
> spell in, say, English.  Again this is where translation is key.

Good thing we have an expert on tap, then. Red's great with the research,
but she pretty much sticks to English, or whatever mangled version thereof
she's channelling at the moment.

> That's something, at least.  It allows me to attempt to stand up for my
> own merits right now.  I don't mind that. I'm glad for the opportunity.

I gave her your email address. Hopefully she'll write soon.

> Yes. As I said - I was rather pompous back then.  Thought that working
> for the Watchers meant a lot more than it did.  Everything she says is
> true. I shan't deny it.

I can't picture you like that at all, pet. But I'll take your word for it.

> I know. But I prefer to keep my gratitude selfishly. It provides me with
> excuses to show it.

Well, in that case, who am I to argue? Any particular plans for how you'll
do that?

> It's such a contradiction from the image that you show now.  Yet I can
> see it.  You've a fair share of a romantic side to you.  I'm sorry the
> gentleman in question insulted it.

He got his. Besides, he was right. Not that that made it any more
pleasant. Less so, if anything. And yeah, its at odds with my image.
That's what my image is for. Changed the accent -- which wasn't easy --
changed the name, changed the attitude, even changed the damned walk. I
tried to get as far away as possible from the gawky, sentimental, fearful,
humiliated bloke I was before Dru saved me. He was dead, and I was glad.

But since the chip, I've realized there's more of him in me than I would
have believed. Not everything, though. the curse proved that. Brought him
back, and even Buffy the all-soul-all-the-time girl thought he was an
utter prat. And -- pretend to be something for a hundred years, and after
a while it becomes the truth.

> If I ever find the references again I'll be sure to show you.

Please do.

> Perhaps he's trying to keep them as hands-off as possible. Take 
> advantage of the money, as you say - and it is a fair sum - but make
> sure that they do not become involved with Buffy's life again.

Likely. And I agree with him.

> I - I joined them against the Mayor.  It's enough.

I know. I imagine they do too. Giles does, at least.

> You say that only because you have not seen him smile.

I say that only because I'm lying. But I can't wait to see him smile. And
I have the feeling, once you two are together, I won't have to.

> I could always teach you.

That's alright pet. Much as I'd enjoy taking lessons from you, I don't
have much need of the computer, except to write to you and Angel. I play
Doom once in a while. I like the name.

> > > And what would those be, if you were here?
> > 
> > Bring you flowers, or presents, or both.
> 
> Not necessary, though of course it would be appreciated.

Of course it is. You deserve all the little surprises and special treats
Angel and I could possibly devise. If I still had money like the old days,
I'd love to shower you with rare books and holidays and fancy chocolates.
But I suppose you wouldn't have cared for presents bought with the cash
from corpses' pockets in any case.

> > Take you out, wherever you wanted.
> 
> Darts and perhaps Caritas.

No slow dancing at an LA hot spot?

> > Make a lot of eye contact. Give you a lot of kisses. 
> 
> That sounds... acceptable.

Glad to hear it.

> > Trounce you thoroughly at darts, just to keep you off balance. 
> 
> In your dreams.

When I dream about you, pet, that's never what we're doing.

> > Give you a massage. 
> 
> You'll compete with Angel there, I think.

Or cooperate. Four hands are better than two.

> > And a lot more kisses. Stroke your hair. Stroke your neck. Kiss your
> > throat. 
> 
> Very acceptable.

Oh, good.

> > Press up against you, and growl "I want you" in your ear. 
> 
> A shame you aren't here.

Isn't it, though? I could start nibbling and sucking on your ear. I could
pull you down on top of me. I could start teasing your cock with my
fingers very very lightly. Or I could just whisper "I'm all yours, pet.
What do you want me to do?"

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> > Interesting to see which personality traits last even with the soul.
> 
> Truthfully, most of 'em seem to, in some form. Except that joy. And I'm
> hoping that comes out to play too, on occasion. You'd know better than
> I. 

Joy... he doesn't do terribly often.  Pleasure. General enjoyment.  But
when you say "joy" I can remember distinctly the emotion that I only saw
in Angelus's eyes and tell you that no, Angel does not - has not, to my
recollection - experienced it yet.  Given the sorts of things that Angelus
found joyful, I can't say I'm overly disappointed.

But this does not mean that Angel is without happiness.

> > It should be. I suspect that part of the problem may be that they did
> > not need to spell it out in the same way that one would when speaking
> > a spell in, say, English.  Again this is where translation is key.
> 
> Good thing we have an expert on tap, then. Red's great with the
> research, but she pretty much sticks to English, or whatever mangled
> version thereof she's channelling at the moment. 

The curse actually seems to be in a combination of Latin and 
Rumanian.  I'm dying to find out if Willow has Ms. Calendar's notes on the
subject as to why the two languages were chosen.

> > That's something, at least.  It allows me to attempt to stand up for
> > my own merits right now.  I don't mind that. I'm glad for the
> > opportunity.
> 
> I gave her your email address. Hopefully she'll write soon.

I'll let you know if she does.

> > Yes. As I said - I was rather pompous back then.  Thought that working
> > for the Watchers meant a lot more than it did.  Everything she says is
> > true. I shan't deny it.
> 
> I can't picture you like that at all, pet. But I'll take your word for
> it.

I was horrid, truly.  It's embarassing to think of now.

> > I know. But I prefer to keep my gratitude selfishly. It provides me
> > with excuses to show it.
> 
> Well, in that case, who am I to argue? Any particular plans for how
> you'll do that? 

I didn't actually have a plan, gorgeous, but I was thinking of getting you
naked.

> > It's such a contradiction from the image that you show now.  Yet I can
> > see it.  You've a fair share of a romantic side to you.  I'm sorry the
> > gentleman in question insulted it.
> 
> He got his. Besides, he was right. Not that that made it any more
> pleasant. Less so, if anything. And yeah, its at odds with my image.
> That's what my image is for. Changed the accent -- which wasn't easy --
> changed the name, changed the attitude, even changed the damned walk.

Really?  I never would have suspected it.

> But since the chip, I've realized there's more of him in me than I
> would have believed. 

It's rather similar to Angel, when you think of it.  I... I suspect 
sometimes for him it's difficult to realize how much of himself might have
been in all that cruelty.

> Not everything, though. the curse proved that. Brought him back, and
> even Buffy the all-soul-all-the-time girl thought he was an utter prat.
> And -- pretend to be something for a hundred years, and after a while it
> becomes the truth. 

I couldn't say from personal experience, of course, but it sounds 
accurate.

> > I - I joined them against the Mayor.  It's enough.
> 
> I know. I imagine they do too. Giles does, at least.

I think Rupert is simply pleased that I don't live near him anymore, and
probably feels that even the two hour travel time isn't quite enough.

> > I could always teach you.
> 
> That's alright pet. Much as I'd enjoy taking lessons from you, I don't
> have much need of the computer, except to write to you and Angel. I play
> Doom once in a while. I like the name. 

So is Forsaken your second favorite then?

> > Not necessary, though of course it would be appreciated.
> 
> Of course it is. You deserve all the little surprises and special
> treats Angel and I could possibly devise. 

Honestly - and forgive me for saying so - but now you truly do sound like
Angel.  I appreciate the desire, truly I do, but it's not necessary.  I'm
fond of your company. It's enough.

> If I still had money like the old days, I'd love to shower you with rare
> books and holidays and fancy chocolates. But I suppose you wouldn't have
> cared for presents bought with the cash from corpses' pockets in any
> case. 

It'd be a bit strange at the very least.

> > Darts and perhaps Caritas.
> 
> No slow dancing at an LA hot spot?

No place I know of in which we could do it together. Caritas doesn't have
dancing, and the other places I've visited are either pubs - which I've
told you of - or Hollywood hot spots which were never truly my cup of tea,
but were tolerable for Virginia's sake.

> > > Trounce you thoroughly at darts, just to keep you off balance. 
> > 
> > In your dreams.
> 
> When I dream about you, pet, that's never what we're doing.

Ha.

> > > Press up against you, and growl "I want you" in your ear. 
> > 
> > A shame you aren't here.
> 
> Isn't it, though? I could start nibbling and sucking on your ear. I
> could pull you down on top of me. I could start teasing your cock with
> my fingers very very lightly. Or I could just whisper "I'm all yours,
> pet. What do you want me to do?" 

I suspect my answer would be all of the above.

Wesley

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> Yeah. Same here.  We just don't *do* that, you know?

Yeah, believe me, I know.

> Too bad you're not here. Could do an imitation for you.  "You can't tell
> me that wasn't perfect!  I used to do this professionally!"

You're kidding. That's fucking perfect. Can't wait to see it with the
facial expressions and hand gestures.

> > > I'm sorry - what? Did you say something?  You... coming?  Do those
> > > words go together?
> > 
> > Evidently not.
> 
> Not for a while yet, boy.

I can wait. Gonna be one hell of an orgasm when it finally arrives.

> Uh huh.  Plus he gets off on other people taking charge.  But I think
> he's got a little top in him.  Love to give him a chance to try it out.

Works for me.

> > Besides, I did ask if he'd like to chain me up for a reason. Partly
> > 'cause if he's in charge he *has to* say what he wants, he *has to*
> > decide what to do. 
> 
> I'm damn near proud of you.

[blush]

> > Partly so he can see the appeal from the safe side,
> > without bringin' up old scars. 
> 
> Yeah.  Be aware - Faith literally put the knife to him.  And that wasn't
> *that* long ago.  Fights with demons aside, he might have a few tender
> spots - not in the good way, and here I mean emotionally - left over
> from that.

Yeah, he mentioned. Not the knife, but the general situation with Faith.
I'm bein' as careful as I can.

> > > You game?  'specially if you understand that by doing this you'd be
> > > obeying *my* orders too?  
> > 
> > I'm game. Hell, when you put it like that, you don't even have to ask.
> > One thing, though, Angel. I like Wesley. A lot. I want Wesley. A lot.
> > I got no problems whatsoever takin' his orders. But its not gonna be
> > the same as takin' yours, and he's a smart boy, he's gonna notice
> > that. Think it'll be a problem? 
> 
> If you don't mind taking his orders then do it.  I just didn't know if
> you would, so I figured tell you to do it as *my* orders 'cause I know
> you'd get off on that.  But if you can take it from the source go for
> it.  Just know I'll be in the room and watching everything. Giving him a
> safety zone.  But yeah - you want to make him your world, go for it.  

That's what I was tryin' to ask about. I like him. A lot. Want to please
him. Happy to do what he says. But he's not my world -- you are. And he's
bound to see the difference -- especially with you in the room.

> Yeah. It's why I like him. Probably said that before but there it is. 
> He calls me on my crap.  Loves me, but doesn't get into the mystique. I
> like that.

Thought you said you hated being called on your bullshit?

> You asked for sweet.

I did, didn't I? Wonder why. Maybe I'm coming down with something.

> > > It's too much for him.  Just a little attention like that and he
> > > comes, gasping, panting, hand digging into my shoulder 'cause he's
> > > holding it so hard. 
> > 
> > Yeah, I had bruises on my upper arms when he left. 
> 
> Do tell.

I never told you how that all happened, did I? Did he? It wasn't anything
either of us expected. I'd been needling him a little when he first
called. He'd have to buy me dinner first, that kind of thing. Just 'cause
I knew from England that the sex stuff makes him blush.

So he shows up -- in all that gorgeous leather -- and I start out all
snotty, but we kill the bottle I made him bring, and end up talking about
things I *never* imagined telling anybody, let alone your Watcher
boyfriend. And he tells me a few things too. Then he's goin' to leave, and
I mention that he'd better take a shower before he sees you, 'cause he's
got my scent all over him. And damned if he doesn't turn around in the
doorway, so I'm practically on top of him already, and says "And I didn't
even have to buy you dinner."

Well now I'm staring at his neck, as you can imagine. Especially since we
just spent half the night talkin' about bloodlust, and its obvious he
knows what he's doin' to me. He's got guts, he's got attitude, and he's
flirting with me. Who could resist? I grabbed the lapels of his jacket and
said "guess you'll have to owe me one", and he says "guess so." And licks
his lips. What would *you* do?

I kissed him, of course. And grabbed the back of his neck. And stroked his
chest. All I could think of was getting all that pretty leather off him so
I could touch him. He asks "what are we doing?" and I said "just having a
bit of fun." I started nibbling on his neck, I remember that. I remember
finally getting that bloody coat off him, and he made a grab for it, so I
picked him up and pinned him against the door.

 I may be getting the order of things wrong, here. At that point it was
 all a haze of desire. If I still had a pulse, it would have been singing.
 He says he should go and I ask if he wants to. Doesn't have an answer for
 that.

I slid my hands up under his black t-shirt and started playing with his
nipples. Pinched them and he gasped, so I asked "too much?" and he said
"n-no" with that breathy little stammer he gets. So I asked if he wanted
more. He goes to kiss me, and I take it, of course, but afterwards I say
"that's very nice, pet, but its not an answer." And he said "what do you
want me to say" And I said "yes would be good." And he says "you need me
to say yes?"

So you see why I reacted like that when you asked if I needed to be told.
I told him no, I don't need him to say yes. I could just strip him naked
and take him right there. But I want him to say yes. Makes the whole thing
more interesting. And I'd hate to spoil the leather. 

I may be missin' a step here. I remember him asking me what I wanted, or
somethin' like that, because I said to get him naked, and he actually
asked me why. Like I'm gonna say oh, just academic interest. I said
"because its hard to have mad wicked sex with your clothes on". And all
this time we're kissing and grinding, by now I'm holding onto his ass and
pulling him tight to me, and he's gripping my upper arms like they're all
that's keeping him upright. That's how I got the bruises.

I grabbed his shirt and dragged him over to the tomb; he stumbled a bit
and I had to catch him. He said he must be insane, and then he looked down
at my crotch, which was bulging, needless to say, and asked what I wanted
him to do. 

So tore the shirt off him and paid some attention to his chest, then
picked him up, sat him on the edge of the tomb and said "lay back and
enjoy". Finally, finally got him out of the rest of those clothes and I'm
kneeling on the ground. Can't wait to get my mouth on his cock, and I
don't have to. God, he tastes sweet. And the scent of him... bury my face
in it, take his cock all the way down my throat and moan a little, so he
can feel it. 

His eyes are all glazed and his mouth is open and he's panting a little
now, and thrusting into my mouth a bit, which I am encouraging as much as
I can. Slip his cock out of my mouth to say something and get distracted
instead, nibbling and licking down the length of it and then going lower
to kiss and lick his asshole. 

He offers to turn over, but I say no, I want to see your face when you
come. And he asks if I want him to come -- fuck, you've got him
well-trained, Angel. Think he would have waited forever for me to say so
if I hadn't brought it up -- and I say yes and take him back down my
throat, stroking nice and regular, he's moaning and saying my name and
please, so soft, slide one finger inside him and he comes in my mouth,
perfect.

Don't mind telling you I was afraid he would leave right then. Come back
to earth with a thump and freak out when the blood rushed back to his
head. My job to prevent that, huh. So I slide up on top of him, letting
him feel my weight, kissing him deep so he can taste his come in my mouth.


He's a good boy, he starts sliding his hand toward my cock saying "do you
want me to...?" but of course being Wesley can't finish the sentence. And
this is where I hear your voice in my head like old times, telling me if I
pretend to misunderstand, like I think he's asking should he go, then he
won't. And I do. And he doesn't. And right about then is when I decide I
owe you the scotch.

So I tell him there's no bloody way I'm letting him go right then, but if
that offer to turn over is still open... now he's got me doing it, with
the unfinished sentences. But he just smiles and says someone's in his
way, since I'm still lyin' on him, holding him down. I sit up, tell him
I'll kill the bastard, and he rolls over, offering that lovely ass to me,
and says "I don't know, I'm not sure I want you to." 

Talk about your mixed messages. My brain about melted out my ears before I
figured out he didn't mean he didn't want me to fuck him, he meant he
didn't want me to kill the bastard. As you can see, I was a little
preoccupied. So I start stroking myself against him, real gentle, from
behind, and tell him, yeah, he must be losing his mind, but he sure has a
nice body. 

And then ... slide into him. Nice and slow, but all the way, as deep as I
can go. And fuck, he's tight, and hot, and -- I manage to hold still for a
minute, let him get used to it. Run my hand down his back, kiss his
shoulders, ask if he's okay. He says yes, starts moving his hips
underneath me and I almost lost it right then. 

But no, grab his hips and set a pace I can live with for a little while,
and Angel, he's so good, so willing. I reach around and start stroking his
cock and he starts pushing back against me, squeezing me tighter, and
fuck, do I come.

> > Too bad they healed so fast.
> 
> I'll make sure you go back to Sunnydale with nice... memories.

Much obliged. 

> > > Sorry - wait.  You're trying here and I don't wanna be a dick.  I
> > > *do* care -
> > >  I care it mattered to you and you're telling me now.  That's good. 
> > >  I'm 
> > > just saying that I'm not mad or anything.
> > 
> > You might be when you hear the rest. I turned her.
> 
> Huh?

Maybe I should have gone for the detail version in the first place. It was
real soon after Dru first found me. You an' Darla decided I should kill my
mum. Wouldn't take no for an answer. Watched while I drained her. Any of
this ringin' a bell? 

Only I didn't want her dead. So I made some excuse, got rid of you lot,
ran the hell back there and made her a vampire before she snuffed it. Been
one ever since. She met Dru once, but Dru didn't know who she was. Met
Buffy too. That was awkward. Not sure if I liked it better when they
wanted to kill each other, or when they were gangin' up on me.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> > Too bad you're not here. Could do an imitation for you.  "You can't
> > tell me that wasn't perfect!  I used to do this professionally!"
> 
> You're kidding. That's fucking perfect. Can't wait to see it with the
> facial expressions and hand gestures. 

Oh yeah.  *Really* ticked off.  "I don't accept this!  I've been around
for four hundred years! *That* was perfect!  C'mon, we'll do it again."

You'd think three times would be enough...

> > Not for a while yet, boy.
> 
> I can wait. Gonna be one hell of an orgasm when it finally arrives.

Gonna be real pretty.

> > Yeah.  Be aware - Faith literally put the knife to him.  And that
> > wasn't *that* long ago.  Fights with demons aside, he might have a few
> > tender spots - not in the good way, and here I mean emotionally - left
> > over from that.
> 
> Yeah, he mentioned. Not the knife, but the general situation with
> Faith. I'm bein' as careful as I can. 

I'm not actually up on all the details of what she did, just that she
fucked him over and not literally.  He was pretty beat up.

> > If you don't mind taking his orders then do it.  I just didn't know if
> > you would, so I figured tell you to do it as *my* orders 'cause I know
> > you'd get off on that.  But if you can take it from the source go for
> > it.  Just know I'll be in the room and watching everything. Giving him
> > a safety zone.  But yeah - you want to make him your world, go for it.
> >  
> 
> That's what I was tryin' to ask about.

Gotcha. Sorry. Didn't catch the nuance the first time 'round.

> I like him. A lot. Want to
> please him. Happy to do what he says. But he's not my world -- you are.
> And he's bound to see the difference -- especially with you in the room.
> 

Don't worry about it.  It's what I was planning on in the first place. 
It'll be fine.  Trust your da.

> > Yeah. It's why I like him. Probably said that before but there it is. 
> > He calls me on my crap.  Loves me, but doesn't get into the mystique.
> > I like that.
> 
> Thought you said you hated being called on your bullshit?

I don't *like* it but I can *respect* it.  Yeah it's annoying - have my
bullshit for good reasons. Least they're good to me.  Rest of the world
probably disagrees.  But yeah - can at least respect the guy who sees
through it.

> > You asked for sweet.
> 
> I did, didn't I? Wonder why. Maybe I'm coming down with something.

It's that skin disease.

> > Do tell.
> 
> I never told you how that all happened, did I? Did he? 

Yeah he did. But you know Wes. "Spike and I had sex" covers a LOT of
ground for him. Could've fucking used a trapeze and he wouldn't of
mentioned it.

> So he shows up -- in all that gorgeous leather 

Took the bike, huh?

> -- and I start out all snotty,

You? I'm shocked.

>  your Watcher boyfriend.

There's a phrase I'd never thought I'd hear.  Ever. Glad I was proven
wrong.

> And he tells me a few things too. Then he's goin' to leave, and I
> mention that he'd better take a shower before he sees you, 

This is before the sex?

> 'cause he's got my scent all over him. And damned if he doesn't turn
> around in the doorway, so I'm practically on top of him already, and
> says "And I didn't even have to buy you dinner." 

Yep. That's Wes.  Pulls that kind of line when you don't expect it. Like
nothing to him.

> Well now I'm staring at his neck, as you can imagine. Especially since
> we just spent half the night talkin' about bloodlust, and its obvious he
> knows what he's doin' to me. He's got guts, he's got attitude, and he's
> flirting with me. Who could resist? I grabbed the lapels of his jacket
> and said "guess you'll have to owe me one", and he says "guess so." And
> licks his lips. What would *you* do? 

Kiss him. But you know that.

> I kissed him, of course. And grabbed the back of his neck.

'cause you knew he'd like it - or was that just a lucky guess from your
own training?  

>  All I could think of was getting all that pretty leather off
> him so I could touch him.

I've been there.  You know I'll bet you anything he doesn't realize how
fuckable he is in that outfit.  You should see him in... oh, wait, you
did.  Was gonna say my coat.  He looks *real* fuckable in my clothes.

> I remember finally getting that bloody coat off him, and he made a grab
> for it, so I picked him up and pinned him against the door. 

He must've been rock hard by then.

>  I may be getting the order of things wrong, here. At that point it was
> all a haze of desire. If I still had a pulse, it would have been
> singing. He says he should go and I ask if he wants to. Doesn't have an
> answer for that. 

Probably worried what I'd think of it.  You did good - kept it light. Kept
him from thinking this was some power play against me or something.  He's
smart enough to understand casual sex.

> I slid my hands up under his black t-shirt and started playing with his
> nipples. Pinched them and he gasped, so I asked "too much?" and he said
> "n-no" with that breathy little stammer he gets. 

And you *didn't* kiss him again for that?  's more willpower than I have
when he gets like that.

> So I asked if he
> wanted more. He goes to kiss me, 

That's Wes - won't talk if he can let his actions speak for him.

> and I take it, of course, but
> afterwards I say "that's very nice, pet, but its not an answer." And he
> said "what do you want me to say" And I said "yes would be good." And he
> says "you need me to say yes?" 

Bear with him when he gets like that. You probably didn't notice but...
it's like a big puzzle to him. He tries to figure it out.  Gets a lot like
he does when he's translating something.  I've learned to give him the
information when he asks.  You get big rewards for it.  

> I may be missin' a step here. I remember him asking me what I wanted, or
> somethin' like that, because I said to get him naked, and he actually
> asked me why. Like I'm gonna say oh, just academic interest.

Yeah, he gets like that sometimes too.  'cause you're fucking *beautiful*
Wes. 

> said "because its hard to have mad wicked sex with your clothes on".

Also a good reason to rip his clothes off.

> I grabbed his shirt and dragged him over to the tomb; he stumbled a bit
> and I had to catch him. He said he must be insane, and then he looked
> down at my crotch, which was bulging, needless to say, and asked what I
> wanted him to do. 

Future reference - when he does that, he wants to go down on you.  
Doesn't really know to ask yet.  It's on my list.  

> So tore the shirt off him and paid some attention to his chest, then
> picked him up, sat him on the edge of the tomb and said "lay back and
> enjoy". Finally, finally got him out of the rest of those clothes and
> I'm kneeling on the ground.

There's a pretty mental picture.

> Can't wait to get my mouth on his cock, and
> I don't have to. God, he tastes sweet. And the scent of him...

I know. Now picture being around that for a year and not being able to
touch him.

> He offers to turn over, but I say no, I want to see your face when you
> come.

Always a worthwhile view.

> And he asks if I want him to come -- fuck, you've got him
> well-trained, Angel. Think he would have waited forever for me to say so
> if I hadn't brought it up

You took charge.  He - it's an innate thing.  Fuck knows he loved it
enough before I even introduced him to the idea. Get him with somebody who
grabs him by the neck and tells him to be a good boy - well, you've seen
the results.

Anyway. That's what did it.  Making love he might not have.  But you
tossing him against the wall, dragging him across the crypt - bet you
anything he didn't even think about it. Just knew - ask, or don't come. 
Hell, maybe even figured you picked up a few tricks from me.  He sure as
shit wasn't surprised when I told him you and I fucked.  That we *shared*
kinda threw him, but not the actual fucking.  

So my guess is he probably figured you had the same likes, paired that
with the take charge attitude and knew to be on good behavior.  You should
see him when he goes all out.  This was just coming.  Get him in the right
mood now and he won't even move until you tell him to - or stop moving, as
the case may be.

> He's a good boy, he starts sliding his hand toward my cock saying "do
> you want me to...?" 

Shows how much of the blood was going back to his brain, him being 
verbal like that.

> but of course being Wesley can't finish the
> sentence. 

Natch.

> And this is where I hear your voice in my head like old
> times, 

Glad I could lend a hand.

> telling me if I pretend to misunderstand, like I think he's
> asking should he go, then he won't. And I do. And he doesn't. And right
> about then is when I decide I owe you the scotch. 

His abandonment issues? Fuck yeah.  How'd he look?  Gets this nice 
look on his face when he realizes people want him around.

> Talk about your mixed messages. My brain about melted out my ears
> before I figured out he didn't mean he didn't want me to fuck him, 

For what it's worth - I probably would've thought the same thing.

> And then ... slide into him. Nice and slow, but all the way, as deep as
> I can go. And fuck, he's tight, and hot, 

I know. He feels real good, doesn't he?

> and -- I manage to hold still
> for a minute, let him get used to it. Run my hand down his back, kiss
> his shoulders, ask if he's okay. He says yes, starts moving his hips
> underneath me and I almost lost it right then. 

That's another one.  If he's not waiting to be told, he's *real* fucking
eager to please.  And he's got his mind around most of the basics by now. 
Get inside of him and he'll have a good idea of how to make it worth your
while.

> But no, grab his hips and set a pace I can live with for a little
> while, and Angel, he's so good, so willing.

See what I'm saying?  Imagine it back when he was starting out. Didn't
know *how* but he sure as shit *wanted* to. So nice.

> I reach around and start
> stroking his cock and he starts pushing back against me, squeezing me
> tighter, and fuck, do I come. 

Sounds nice. Glad you told me.

> > Huh?
> 
> Maybe I should have gone for the detail version in the first place. It
> was real soon after Dru first found me. You an' Darla decided I should
> kill my mum. Wouldn't take no for an answer. Watched while I drained
> her. Any of this ringin' a bell? 

Yeah.  Sorry - sometimes Angelus stuff doesn't come too quick for me. 
Dunno why.  I mean I can remember, but sometimes - it's foggy.

> Only I didn't want her dead. So I made some excuse, got rid of you lot,
> ran the hell back there and made her a vampire before she snuffed it.
> Been one ever since.

Um. Ok.  

> Met Buffy too. That was awkward.

That'd be one word for it.

A.

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> Oh yeah.  *Really* ticked off.  "I don't accept this!  I've been around
> for four hundred years! *That* was perfect!  C'mon, we'll do it again."
> 
> You'd think three times would be enough...

Some people never give up. Normally its a quality I appreciate, especially
when they're trying to fuck me. But the flashing neon ulterior motive
would take some of the fun out.

> > > Not for a while yet, boy.
> >
> > I can wait. Gonna be one hell of an orgasm when it finally arrives.
> 
> Gonna be real pretty.

Hope so. Like to put on a good show for you, luv.

> I'm not actually up on all the details of what she did, just that she
> fucked him over and not literally.  He was pretty beat up.

Tell me she paid for this, Angel. Lie if you have to.

> > That's what I was tryin' to ask about.
> 
> Gotcha. Sorry. Didn't catch the nuance the first time 'round.

No problem. At the risk of sounding like Wesley here, I didn't have the
words for that one. You gave 'em to me, I used 'em, it worked the second
time around.

> > I like him. A lot. Want to
> > please him. Happy to do what he says. But he's not my world -- you
> > are. And he's bound to see the difference -- especially with you in
> > the room.
> 
> Don't worry about it.  It's what I was planning on in the first place. 
> It'll be fine.  Trust your da.

Always.

> I don't *like* it but I can *respect* it.  Yeah it's annoying - have my
> bullshit for good reasons. Least they're good to me.  Rest of the world
> probably disagrees.  But yeah - can at least respect the guy who sees
> through it.

Fair enough. *I* can respect the guy who sees through your bullshit too --
definitely adds to his charm. Remains to be seen how well I'll take it
when he starts calling me on mine.

> Yeah he did. But you know Wes. "Spike and I had sex" covers a LOT of
> ground for him. Could've fucking used a trapeze and he wouldn't of
> mentioned it.

Nah. Crypt roof couldn't take it. Avalanche, not so sexy. But I do get
what you mean.

> > So he shows up -- in all that gorgeous leather
> 
> Took the bike, huh?

Uh-huh.

> > -- and I start out all snotty,
> 
> You? I'm shocked.

He wasn't. First thing I liked about him. Apart from how he blushes.

> >  your Watcher boyfriend.
> 
> There's a phrase I'd never thought I'd hear.  Ever. Glad I was proven
> wrong.

Yeah, me too. Though I'm tryin' not to call him that now that I know how
he feels about them. (And the more he tells me, the more I think we *both*
could have had Watcher sex toys, anyway, whenever we wanted. Apparently a
lot more of them have the vamp fetish than I had any idea.)

> > And he tells me a few things too. Then he's goin' to leave, and I
> > mention that he'd better take a shower before he sees you,
> 
> This is before the sex?

Oh yeah. This is before the kiss, even. I'd assume he knows to take a
shower after sex. Even mortals notice that shit. It was just, you know,
you bein' in posessive mode last time we met, him not knowin' how you'd
feel about him sneakin' up this way for a little inside vamp perspective
on the bloodlust thing... I figured, the better part of valor and all
that.

> > 'cause he's got my scent all over him. And damned if he doesn't turn
> > around in the doorway, so I'm practically on top of him already, and
> > says "And I didn't even have to buy you dinner."
> 
> Yep. That's Wes.  Pulls that kind of line when you don't expect it. Like
> nothing to him.

Amazing. And you know me, I'm a sucker for anyone with attitude.

> > Well now I'm staring at his neck, as you can imagine. Especially since
> > we just spent half the night talkin' about bloodlust, and its obvious
> > he knows what he's doin' to me. He's got guts, he's got attitude, and
> > he's flirting with me. Who could resist? I grabbed the lapels of his
> > jacket and said "guess you'll have to owe me one", and he says "guess
> > so." And licks his lips. What would *you* do?
> 
> Kiss him. But you know that.

Of course. S'why I asked.

> > I kissed him, of course. And grabbed the back of his neck.
> 
> 'cause you knew he'd like it - or was that just a lucky guess from your
> own training?

Yes. Both. I don't know. Seemed like a good idea at the time. If he liked
it, I'd know where we were. If not, its not *so* out there that it would
likely scare him out the door. Convert it to an ordinary passionate grip
and make a mental note to keep off that particular grass. But he responded
like a dream. 

> >  All I could think of was getting all that pretty leather off
> > him so I could touch him.

> I've been there.  You know I'll bet you anything he doesn't realize how
> fuckable he is in that outfit.  You should see him in... oh, wait, you
> did. Was gonna say my coat.  He looks *real* fuckable in my clothes.

I've been telling him how fuckable he is in that outfit. Don't know if he
believes me. I made a snide comment about it when he first appeared, and
he reminded me of it. Shit. Wash my own mouth out with soap, if I thought
it would help. I apologized, he said its okay, nothing to do but drop it.
But I don't think I've got a lot of credibility on this topic.

Your clothes -- yeah. Well. I was a little distracted. I'll look next
time.

Ever seen him really dressed up? Like in a tuxedo? I bet he's damned
gorgeous.

> > I remember finally getting that bloody coat off him, and he made a
> > grab for it, so I picked him up and pinned him against the door.
> 
> He must've been rock hard by then.

Oh yeah. His hard cock pressed right up against mine. Real nice. Real
reassuring, too -- I mean, don't know the boy real well yet, walking the
fine line between bein' aggressive and bein', well, aggressive, this kinda
feedback is a good thing.

> Probably worried what I'd think of it.  You did good - kept it light.
> Kept him from thinking this was some power play against me or something.
> He's smart enough to understand casual sex.

Glad I guessed right. And -- truth, anyway. Just wanted him. No agenda.

> > I slid my hands up under his black t-shirt and started playing with
> > his nipples. Pinched them and he gasped, so I asked "too much?" and he
> > said "n-no" with that breathy little stammer he gets.
> 
> And you *didn't* kiss him again for that?  's more willpower than I have
> when he gets like that.

Wanted to. So bad. But I needed the info. You should have seen his face,
though, Angel, like hearing that "no" come out of his own mouth was the
most surprising thing he'd ever encountered. Absolutely bloody adorable.

> > So I asked if he
> > wanted more. He goes to kiss me,
> 
> That's Wes - won't talk if he can let his actions speak for him.

One big plus of asking him questions. If he doesn't want to talk, he'll
act. 

> > and I take it, of course, but
> > afterwards I say "that's very nice, pet, but its not an answer." And
> > he said "what do you want me to say" And I said "yes would be good."
> > And he says "you need me to say yes?"
> 
> Bear with him when he gets like that. You probably didn't notice but...
> it's like a big puzzle to him. He tries to figure it out.  Gets a lot
> like he does when he's translating something.  I've learned to give him
> the information when he asks.  You get big rewards for it.

Will do. I was starting to notice, but didn't really put the pieces
together until afterwards.

> > I may be missin' a step here. I remember him asking me what I wanted,
> > or somethin' like that, because I said to get him naked, and he
> > actually asked me why. Like I'm gonna say oh, just academic interest.
> 
> Yeah, he gets like that sometimes too.  'cause you're fucking
> *beautiful* Wes.

Exactly. Want to see you. Want to touch you. Want to please you. Want to
make you want me. Want to hear my name on those swollen lips. Didn't know
how to explain all that. Or rather, kinda thought I already had.

> > said "because its hard to have mad wicked sex with your clothes on".
> 
> Also a good reason to rip his clothes off.

Isn't it?

> > I grabbed his shirt and dragged him over to the tomb; he stumbled a
> > bit and I had to catch him. He said he must be insane, and then he
> > looked down at my crotch, which was bulging, needless to say, and
> > asked what I wanted him to do.
> 
> Future reference - when he does that, he wants to go down on you.
> Doesn't really know to ask yet.  It's on my list.

Actually, I did kinda get that. But... I wanted to go down on him too. If
I'm gonna be in charge, might as well get the benefits. And I wanted to
surprise him a little. Had the feeling he was expecting the other.

> > So tore the shirt off him and paid some attention to his chest, then
> > picked him up, sat him on the edge of the tomb and said "lay back and
> > enjoy". Finally, finally got him out of the rest of those clothes and
> > I'm kneeling on the ground.
> 
> There's a pretty mental picture.

oh yeah. Him leaning back on his elbows with his legs spread wide for me,
his eyes all glazed and his mouth open, breathing hard.

> > Can't wait to get my mouth on his cock, and
> > I don't have to. God, he tastes sweet. And the scent of him...
> 
> I know. Now picture being around that for a year and not being able to
> touch him.

Must I? Aren't I frustrated enough?

> > He offers to turn over, but I say no, I want to see your face when you
> > come.
> 
> Always a worthwhile view.

Beautiful. Just fucking beautiful. And to know I made it happen... best
power trip there is, but one.

> > And he asks if I want him to come -- fuck, you've got him
> > well-trained, Angel. Think he would have waited forever for me to say
> > so if I hadn't brought it up
> 
> You took charge.  He - it's an innate thing.  Fuck knows he loved it
> enough before I even introduced him to the idea. Get him with somebody
> who grabs him by the neck and tells him to be a good boy - well, you've
> seen the results.

And I can't wait to see them again. 

> Anyway. That's what did it.  Making love he might not have.  But you
> tossing him against the wall, dragging him across the crypt - bet you
> anything he didn't even think about it. Just knew - ask, or don't come.
> Hell, maybe even figured you picked up a few tricks from me.  He sure as
> shit wasn't surprised when I told him you and I fucked.  That we
> *shared* kinda threw him, but not the actual fucking.

I've been finding he's not so shockable as he looks. Kinda surprised the
sharing threw him, actually. The deaths sure didn't.

> So my guess is he probably figured you had the same likes, paired that
> with the take charge attitude and knew to be on good behavior.  You
> should see him when he goes all out.  This was just coming.  Get him in
> the right mood now and he won't even move until you tell him to - or
> stop moving, as the case may be.

Really? Just how do I go about gettin' him in this mood?

> > He's a good boy, he starts sliding his hand toward my cock saying "do
> > you want me to...?"

> Shows how much of the blood was going back to his brain, him being
> verbal like that.

That's what scared me in the first place.

> > And this is where I hear your voice in my head like old
> > times,
> 
> Glad I could lend a hand.

I owe you one. I owe you a lot, actually.

> > telling me if I pretend to misunderstand, like I think he's
> > asking should he go, then he won't. And I do. And he doesn't. And
> > right about then is when I decide I owe you the scotch.
> 
> His abandonment issues? Fuck yeah.  How'd he look?  Gets this nice
> look on his face when he realizes people want him around.

That what it was? He looked all scared when I finished his sentence with
"go?" and I felt like such a shit for playing with him like that, but when
I told him there was no bloody way I was letting him go right then... it
was like the sun coming out. In the non-instant-incineration sense.

> > Talk about your mixed messages. My brain about melted out my ears
> > before I figured out he didn't mean he didn't want me to fuck him,
> 
> For what it's worth - I probably would've thought the same thing.

I'm pretty sure it was intentional, actually. He can be a brat. In the
very best sense.

> > And then ... slide into him. Nice and slow, but all the way, as deep
> > as I can go. And fuck, he's tight, and hot,
> 
> I know. He feels real good, doesn't he?

Oh yeah.

> > and -- I manage to hold still
> > for a minute, let him get used to it. Run my hand down his back, kiss
> > his shoulders, ask if he's okay. He says yes, starts moving his hips
> > underneath me and I almost lost it right then.
> 
> That's another one.  If he's not waiting to be told, he's *real* fucking
> eager to please.  And he's got his mind around most of the basics by
> now.  Get inside of him and he'll have a good idea of how to make it
> worth your while.

He did. He does. Although he would have been worth my while if he did
nothing but lie there and think of England.

> > But no, grab his hips and set a pace I can live with for a little
> > while, and Angel, he's so good, so willing.
> 
> See what I'm saying?  Imagine it back when he was starting out. Didn't
> know *how* but he sure as shit *wanted* to. So nice.

I can imagine.

> > I reach around and start
> > stroking his cock and he starts pushing back against me, squeezing me
> > tighter, and fuck, do I come.
> 
> Sounds nice. Glad you told me.

Anytime.

> Yeah.  Sorry - sometimes Angelus stuff doesn't come too quick for me.
> Dunno why.  I mean I can remember, but sometimes - it's foggy.

Whatever.

> > Met Buffy too. That was awkward.
> 
> That'd be one word for it.

She not only asks if I'm eating enough, she pulls out the bleedin' *baby
pictures*. I mean, does she *want* to humiliate me forever?

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> > I'm not actually up on all the details of what she did, just that she
> > fucked him over and not literally.  He was pretty beat up.
> 
> Tell me she paid for this, Angel. Lie if you have to.

She's paying.

> > There's a phrase I'd never thought I'd hear.  Ever. Glad I was proven
> > wrong.
> 
> Yeah, me too. Though I'm tryin' not to call him that now that I know how
> he feels about them. 

He doesn't take it too bad when people call him that sometimes. 
Obviously nobody here does, but I don't think it phases him too much to
hear it from the Sunnydale crowd. 

> (And the more he tells me, the more I think we *both* could have had
> Watcher sex toys, anyway, whenever we wanted. Apparently a lot more of
> them have the vamp fetish than I had any idea.) 

Watchers having a hidden dark side? Gee. Who knew?  Assholes.

Giles excepted, of course.

> Oh yeah. This is before the kiss, even. I'd assume he knows to take a
> shower after sex. Even mortals notice that shit. It was just, you know,
> you bein' in posessive mode last time we met, him not knowin' how you'd
> feel about him sneakin' up this way for a little inside vamp perspective
> on the bloodlust thing... I figured, the better part of valor and all
> that. 

Gotcha. Yeah. Definitely would've picked up on that if I saw him when he
got home.  I was busy anyway but it was a good thought.

> > fuckable he is in that outfit.  You should see him in... oh, wait, you
> > did. Was gonna say my coat.  He looks *real* fuckable in my clothes.
> 
> I've been telling him how fuckable he is in that outfit. Don't know if
> he believes me. I made a snide comment about it when he first appeared,

What?

> and he reminded me of it. Shit. Wash my own mouth out with soap, if I
> thought it would help. I apologized, he said its okay, nothing to do but
> drop it. But I don't think I've got a lot of credibility on this topic. 

Sad thing with Wes is he's used to comments. Folks in Sunnydale sent
plenty his way. Christ knows what his dad said.  I don't like it but if
Wes says you shouldn't worry about it, don't.  He's used to it.

> Your clothes -- yeah. Well. I was a little distracted. I'll look next
> time.

I'll make sure to put the coat on him while you're here. You'll see what I
mean.  Still remember the first time I saw him wearing it.

> Ever seen him really dressed up? Like in a tuxedo? I bet he's damned
> gorgeous.

He is.  Not that I could appreciate it at the time.  Sunnydale. Prom. 
He's doing chaperone duty with Giles. Wore a tux then.  This's back when
Cordy was drooling over him (boy did she get over that - lucky for me).
Got my eyes on Buffy, natch, but I still remember what he looked like.

Could probably ask Cordy if she's got a picture if you're interested.

> > He must've been rock hard by then.
> 
> Oh yeah. His hard cock pressed right up against mine. Real nice. Real
> reassuring, too -- I mean, don't know the boy real well yet, walking the
> fine line between bein' aggressive and bein', well, aggressive, this
> kinda feedback is a good thing. 

I hear ya.

> > And you *didn't* kiss him again for that?  's more willpower than I
> > have when he gets like that.
> 
> Wanted to. So bad. But I needed the info. You should have seen his
> face, though, Angel, like hearing that "no" come out of his own mouth
> was the most surprising thing he'd ever encountered. Absolutely bloody
> adorable. 

I can picture it.

> > That's Wes - won't talk if he can let his actions speak for him.
> 
> One big plus of asking him questions. If he doesn't want to talk, he'll
> act. 

Bingo.

> > Yeah, he gets like that sometimes too.  'cause you're fucking
> > *beautiful* Wes.
> 
> Exactly. Want to see you. Want to touch you. Want to please you. Want to
> make you want me. Want to hear my name on those swollen lips. 

Be interested to hear him say your name.  Know how he says mine.  
Accent's everything.

> > Future reference - when he does that, he wants to go down on you.
> > Doesn't really know to ask yet.  It's on my list.
> 
> Actually, I did kinda get that. But... I wanted to go down on him too.
> If I'm gonna be in charge, might as well get the benefits. And I wanted
> to surprise him a little. Had the feeling he was expecting the other. 

Probably wasn't, you topping him like that.

> > > So tore the shirt off him and paid some attention to his chest, then
> > > picked him up, sat him on the edge of the tomb and said "lay back
> > > and enjoy". Finally, finally got him out of the rest of those
> > > clothes and I'm kneeling on the ground.
> > 
> > There's a pretty mental picture.
> 
> oh yeah. Him leaning back on his elbows with his legs spread wide for
> me, his eyes all glazed and his mouth open, breathing hard. 

I meant you too, boy.

> > I know. Now picture being around that for a year and not being able to
> > touch him.
> 
> Must I? Aren't I frustrated enough?

Feel my pain.

> I've been finding he's not so shockable as he looks. Kinda surprised the
> sharing threw him, actually. The deaths sure didn't. 

We're vampires. Death's part of the deal.  Sharing sex partners - little
different.

Gotta remember too - some stuff *is* new to him.  Like the gay thing.  He
freaked about that for a while. Quietly, but freaked.  

> > So my guess is he probably figured you had the same likes, paired that
> > with the take charge attitude and knew to be on good behavior.  You
> > should see him when he goes all out.  This was just coming.  Get him
> > in the right mood now and he won't even move until you tell him to -
> > or stop moving, as the case may be.
> 
> Really? Just how do I go about gettin' him in this mood?

I'll show you. 

> > His abandonment issues? Fuck yeah.  How'd he look?  Gets this nice
> > look on his face when he realizes people want him around.
> 
> That what it was?

Yep.

> He looked all scared when I finished his sentence with "go?" 

Uh huh. Would've totally understood if you told him to get the fuck out.
Shitty, isn't it?

> and I felt like such a shit for playing with him like that, but when I
> told him there was no bloody way I was letting him go right then... it
> was like the sun coming out. In the non-instant-incineration sense. 

Yep. Been there.  Did that when I hired him, did that when I didn't fire
him, did it when he finally realized I loved him - it's nice.

> > Yeah.  Sorry - sometimes Angelus stuff doesn't come too quick for me.
> > Dunno why.  I mean I can remember, but sometimes - it's foggy.
> 
> Whatever.

Sorry.  I - I wanna do the right thing here, but I don't know how.  Give
me a hint at least?

> She not only asks if I'm eating enough, she pulls out the bleedin'
> *baby pictures*. I mean, does she *want* to humiliate me forever? 

Poor pup.

A.

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> Joy... he doesn't do terribly often.  Pleasure. General enjoyment.  But
> when you say "joy" I can remember distinctly the emotion that I only saw
> in Angelus's eyes and tell you that no, Angel does not - has not, to my
> recollection - experienced it yet.  Given the sorts of things that
> Angelus found joyful, I can't say I'm overly disappointed.

Oh, but it was beautiful. Ah well. Maybe he'll find a way for that too
someday. Keep the emotion, change the cause, I mean, not enjoy Angelus'
pleasures.

> But this does not mean that Angel is without happiness.

No one could think he was, pet, who'd heard him talk about you.

> I was horrid, truly.  It's embarassing to think of now.

One more thing we have in common. I've told you a bit about my mortal self
-- you'll know the rest when my pictures come from England. Sometimes I'm
bloody jealous of Angel -- the way he talks, a little necking with Darla
and his old self was gone and forgotten. Me, much as I loved becoming a
vampire, getting away from that human boy was one deliberate, uphill step
after another.

> > > I know. But I prefer to keep my gratitude selfishly. It provides me
> > > with excuses to show it.
> > 
> > Well, in that case, who am I to argue? Any particular plans for how
> > you'll do that? 
> 
> I didn't actually have a plan, gorgeous, but I was thinking of getting
> you naked.

Throwing my words back at me, pet? Now I really wish I was there. Could
kiss you for hours for that one. After complying with your request, of
course. Gonna rip the shirt off me like I did to you? Or just pin me up
against the wall?

> > > It's such a contradiction from the image that you show now.  Yet I
> > > can see it.  You've a fair share of a romantic side to you.  I'm
> > > sorry the gentleman in question insulted it.
> > 
> > He got his. Besides, he was right. Not that that made it any more
> > pleasant. Less so, if anything. And yeah, its at odds with my image.
> > That's what my image is for. Changed the accent -- which wasn't easy
> > -- changed the name, changed the attitude, even changed the damned
> > walk.
> 
> Really?  I never would have suspected it.

The walk? Or the whole package?

> > But since the chip, I've realized there's more of him in me than I
> > would have believed. 
> 
> It's rather similar to Angel, when you think of it.  I... I suspect
> sometimes for him it's difficult to realize how much of himself might
> have been in all that cruelty.

Yeah, it is. Though in the opposite direction. He told me there was none
of him in Angelus, but a lot of Angelus in him.

> I think Rupert is simply pleased that I don't live near him anymore, and
> probably feels that even the two hour travel time isn't quite enough.

Then Giles is a blithering idiot. Mind you, I always suspected as much.

> So is Forsaken your second favorite then?

Never played it. Any good?

> > Of course it is. You deserve all the little surprises and special
> > treats Angel and I could possibly devise. 
> 
> Honestly - and forgive me for saying so - but now you truly do sound
> like Angel.  I appreciate the desire, truly I do, but it's not
> necessary.  I'm fond of your company. It's enough.

S'alright. That's one family resemblance I don't mind. And I'm glad that
you're fond of my company, pet, because I'm very fond of yours indeed. But
you should have so much more than enough.

> > If I still had money like the old days, I'd love to shower you with
> > rare books and holidays and fancy chocolates. But I suppose you
> > wouldn't have cared for presents bought with the cash from corpses'
> > pockets in any case. 
> 
> It'd be a bit strange at the very least.

Complications of you people with consciences. Never had these problems
with Dru. Kill some bloated rich bloke, buy her a sapphire necklace. Easy.
Or kill the jeweler and cut out the middleman. Now? Hard to think of
anything I can give you that you would want.

> > > Darts and perhaps Caritas.
> > 
> > No slow dancing at an LA hot spot?
> 
> No place I know of in which we could do it together. Caritas doesn't
> have dancing, and the other places I've visited are either pubs - which
> I've told you of - or Hollywood hot spots which were never truly my cup
> of tea, but were tolerable for Virginia's sake.

Took me a minute there. First thought was, couldn't we do it together
anyplace with a band and a dance floor? Not like we need special
equipment. But I suppose getting stared at is hardly your idea of a good
time, much as I've been known to enjoy it on occasion. Still, it is LA,
pet, there must be someplace where Angel and I could get dressed up and
show off our stunnningly handsome companion.

> > > > Press up against you, and growl "I want you" in your ear. 
> > > 
> > > A shame you aren't here.
> > 
> > Isn't it, though? I could start nibbling and sucking on your ear. I
> > could pull you down on top of me. I could start teasing your cock with
> > my fingers very very lightly. Or I could just whisper "I'm all yours,
> > pet. What do you want me to do?" 
> 
> I suspect my answer would be all of the above.

I like the idea of you on top of me, pet. Opens up so many options. Move
up a little, and slide your cock into my mouth. Move down a little, and
slide mine inside you. Or the other way round, for that matter. Or I could
just keep teasing and stroking you. Sucking on your nipples. Nibbling on
your collarbone. Holding you close.

--Spike

P.S. Are you ticklish?

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

Hello, Spike,

> > But this does not mean that Angel is without happiness.
> 
> No one could think he was, pet, who'd heard him talk about you.

That's flattering of you to say.

> Sometimes I'm bloody jealous of Angel -- the way he talks, a little
> necking with Darla and his old self was gone and forgotten. 

He doesn't seem to have any attachment to his mortal self.  Perhaps 
this was part of Darla's own influence. Angel said that Darla was not her
mortal name and that he felt she probably couldn't even remember her
mortal name if she tried. I suspect Angel still knows his, but feels so
little attachment to it as to make remembering it irrelevant.

> > I didn't actually have a plan, gorgeous, but I was thinking of getting
> > you naked.
> 
> Throwing my words back at me, pet?

Oh, was I?

> Now I really wish I was there. Could kiss you for hours for that one.
> After complying with your request, of course. Gonna rip the shirt off me
> like I did to you? Or just pin me up against the wall? 

I thought I might just attack you at the doorway and let matters proceed
naturally from there.

> > > He got his. Besides, he was right. Not that that made it any more
> > > pleasant. Less so, if anything. And yeah, its at odds with my image.
> > > That's what my image is for. Changed the accent -- which wasn't easy
> > > -- changed the name, changed the attitude, even changed the damned
> > > walk.
> > 
> > Really?  I never would have suspected it.
> 
> The walk? Or the whole package?

The entire package.  It seems so natural to you now.  Although so does
this hidden romantic side of you as well.

> > It's rather similar to Angel, when you think of it.  I... I suspect
> > sometimes for him it's difficult to realize how much of himself might
> > have been in all that cruelty.
> 
> Yeah, it is. Though in the opposite direction. He told me there was none
> of him in Angelus, but a lot of Angelus in him. 

Really?  Fascinating.  That bears thinking about.

> > So is Forsaken your second favorite then?
> 
> Never played it. Any good?

I've never played it either. I simply recalled seeing it in the store and
it came to mind when you mentioned playing games which have titles of a
personal interest to you.

> > Honestly - and forgive me for saying so - but now you truly do sound
> > like Angel.  I appreciate the desire, truly I do, but it's not
> > necessary.  I'm fond of your company. It's enough.
> 
> S'alright. That's one family resemblance I don't mind. And I'm glad that
> you're fond of my company, pet, because I'm very fond of yours indeed.
> But you should have so much more than enough. 

I'm all right, really.

> > No place I know of in which we could do it together. Caritas doesn't
> > have dancing, and the other places I've visited are either pubs -
> > which I've told you of - or Hollywood hot spots which were never truly
> > my cup of tea, but were tolerable for Virginia's sake.
> 
> Took me a minute there. First thought was, couldn't we do it together
> anyplace with a band and a dance floor? Not like we need special
> equipment. But I suppose getting stared at is hardly your idea of a good
> time, much as I've been known to enjoy it on occasion. Still, it is LA,
> pet, there must be someplace where Angel and I could get dressed up and
> show off our stunnningly handsome companion. 

I'm - I'm sure there are such places, only that I'm not familiar with
them.  Angel might know. Or Cordy, or the Host.  We could ask around.

> I like the idea of you on top of me, pet. Opens up so many options. Move
> up a little, and slide your cock into my mouth. Move down a little, and
> slide mine inside you. Or the other way round, for that matter. Or I
> could just keep teasing and stroking you. Sucking on your nipples.
> Nibbling on your collarbone. Holding you close. 

That sounds positively divine, Spike.

> P.S. Are you ticklish?

Er - I don't know?

Wesley

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> > Tell me she paid for this, Angel. Lie if you have to.
> 
> She's paying.

Thank you.

> He doesn't take it too bad when people call him that sometimes. 
> Obviously nobody here does, but I don't think it phases him too much to
> hear it from the Sunnydale crowd. 

Good to know.

> Watchers having a hidden dark side? Gee. Who knew?  Assholes.

Well, yeah. Big time.

> Giles excepted, of course.

No need to except him on my account. We knew he had the dark side -- I
just wish he'd let it out to play more often. Could deal with that a
damned sight better than Death By Tweed and Stuttering. And he's
definitely an asshole in any number of ways. But he does care about Buffy,
and she loves him like a bloody father. So I deal.

> Gotcha. Yeah. Definitely would've picked up on that if I saw him when he
> got home.  I was busy anyway but it was a good thought.

Couldn't hurt. And considering where it led, it was a fucking brilliant
thought. One of the world's great ideas, even. Wish I could say it was all
a diabolical scheme to get Wesley into bed, but I didn't have a clue in
the wide world even at that point that there was any potential in that
direction. Just riding the moment.

> > I've been telling him how fuckable he is in that outfit. Don't know if
> > he believes me. I made a snide comment about it when he first
> > appeared,
> 
> What?

"Well, if it isn't Heck's Cherub."

> Sad thing with Wes is he's used to comments. Folks in Sunnydale sent
> plenty his way. Christ knows what his dad said.  I don't like it but if
> Wes says you shouldn't worry about it, don't.  He's used to it.

That's why I'm worried. Hate the idea that he accepts, that he *believes*
any of this shit. Hate the idea that I made it worse, even a little bit.
But there's nothing I can do now, except make as many positive comments as
occur to me, and hope to hell and gone that he believes them too.

> > Your clothes -- yeah. Well. I was a little distracted. I'll look next
> > time.
> 
> I'll make sure to put the coat on him while you're here. You'll see what
> I mean.  Still remember the first time I saw him wearing it.

Luv, it might be better if you didn't. I mean yeah, by all means, if it's
cold, take care of him. But not for my sake. 'Cause all I'm gonna see is
Buffy's face when *she* saw it for the first time. Sorry.

> > Ever seen him really dressed up? Like in a tuxedo? I bet he's damned
> > gorgeous.
> 
> He is.  Not that I could appreciate it at the time.  Sunnydale. Prom. 
> He's doing chaperone duty with Giles. Wore a tux then.  This's back when
> Cordy was drooling over him (boy did she get over that - lucky for me).
> Got my eyes on Buffy, natch, but I still remember what he looked like.

Cordy was drooling over him? He said she used to seek out his company in
Sunnydale, didn't realize what that meant. Was it mutual? This all must
make life in your office very soap opera.

> Could probably ask Cordy if she's got a picture if you're interested.

Nah. Thanks, but I'll ask Wesley. He asked to see some of my old pictures.
Might as well make it a trade.

> Be interested to hear him say your name.  Know how he says mine.  
> Accent's everything.

You'll hear soon. Sends a little shiver through me every bloody time.
Though it may come out different when he's in charge.

> I meant you too, boy.

Oh. [blush] Thank you. 

> We're vampires. Death's part of the deal.  Sharing sex partners - little
> different.

I guess so. Part of the whole take what you want theme though.

> Gotta remember too - some stuff *is* new to him.  Like the gay thing. 
> He freaked about that for a while. Quietly, but freaked.  

Is he okay with it now? I mean, around straight people. I noticed he got
the wanting men bit down pretty good.

> > > So my guess is he probably figured you had the same likes, paired
> > > that with the take charge attitude and knew to be on good behavior. 
> > > You should see him when he goes all out.  This was just coming.  Get
> > > him in the right mood now and he won't even move until you tell him
> > > to - or stop moving, as the case may be.
> > 
> > Really? Just how do I go about gettin' him in this mood?
> 
> I'll show you. 

Speaking of pretty mental pictures...

> Uh huh. Would've totally understood if you told him to get the fuck out.
> Shitty, isn't it?

Bloody hell. Wouldn't even have done that in the old days. Killed him,
maybe, but not thrown him out.

> > and I felt like such a shit for playing with him like that, but when I
> > told him there was no bloody way I was letting him go right then... it
> > was like the sun coming out. In the non-instant-incineration sense. 
> 
> Yep. Been there.  Did that when I hired him, did that when I didn't fire
> him, did it when he finally realized I loved him - it's nice.

Yeah, it is. Makes me want to think of more things to do for him just to
see it again. But fuck if I can think of any bleeding thing he wants that
I can give him. Other than the obvious.

> > > Yeah.  Sorry - sometimes Angelus stuff doesn't come too quick for
> > > me. Dunno why.  I mean I can remember, but sometimes - it's foggy.
> > 
> > Whatever.
> 
> Sorry.  I - I wanna do the right thing here, but I don't know how.  Give
> me a hint at least?

I-- I would if I could, Angel. I don't know what the right thing is,
except apologize, which you already did. Twice. Doesn't help a hell of
lot, but there we are. I know you weren't trying to hurt me. You did. Oh
well. Not like I'm not used to it. Or should have been. Was. Will be.
Fuck, you know what I mean. I'm out of practice, that's all. My fault.
I'll take care of it.

> Poor pup.

Yeah, its a rough life. She asked whatever happened to Dru, too. I don't
think she approves of Buffy. Guess I can see her point. But its not like I
was planning to make the introduction.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> > He doesn't take it too bad when people call him that sometimes. 
> > Obviously nobody here does, but I don't think it phases him too much
> > to hear it from the Sunnydale crowd. 
> 
> Good to know.

Not that I'm saying make a habit of it. Just don't kill yourself if you
call him that.

> > Giles excepted, of course.
> 
> No need to except him on my account. 

Yeah, well - Giles is hands-off for me.  

> But he does care about
> Buffy, and she loves him like a bloody father. So I deal. 

He's got his good points. Can't say we're friends, of course, but he's got
his good points.

> > Sad thing with Wes is he's used to comments. Folks in Sunnydale sent
> > plenty his way. Christ knows what his dad said.  I don't like it but
> > if Wes says you shouldn't worry about it, don't.  He's used to it.
> 
> That's why I'm worried. Hate the idea that he accepts, that he
> *believes* any of this shit. Hate the idea that I made it worse, even a
> little bit. But there's nothing I can do now, except make as many
> positive comments as occur to me, and hope to hell and gone that he
> believes them too. 

Look at it this way - it's no worse than the shit I said to him.

> > I'll make sure to put the coat on him while you're here. You'll see
> > what I mean.  Still remember the first time I saw him wearing it.
> 
> Luv, it might be better if you didn't. I mean yeah, by all means, if
> it's cold, take care of him. But not for my sake. 'Cause all I'm gonna
> see is Buffy's face when *she* saw it for the first time. Sorry. 

Gotcha.

> Cordy was drooling over him?

Yep. Far as I know. Wasn't hanging around the school much by then 
but still saw and heard a few things, esp. when graduation got close. 
'parently Cordy thought Wes was pretty sexy and Wes didn't think Cordy was
half bad either.  Can't say I blame either one of them.

> He said she used to seek out his company
> in Sunnydale, didn't realize what that meant. Was it mutual?

Wes would say *you* "sought his company".  Amazing the details he 
hides.

But yeah, they had a mutual crush kind of thing going.  Danced together at
the prom.  Even talked a bit about Wes hanging out in Sunnydale after he
quit the Watchers just to be with her.

But then they apparently tried kissing.  Zero chemistry.  Less than zero. 
 Parted on good terms and here we are.  No soap operas to report. Just
that Wes now figures he knows why the thing with Cordy didn't work out and
Cordy kinda wonders why I don't seem to be complaining about Wes's skills.

> > Could probably ask Cordy if she's got a picture if you're interested.
> 
> Nah. Thanks, but I'll ask Wesley. He asked to see some of my old
> pictures. Might as well make it a trade. 

If he can't find any, lemme know.  Cordy's bound to have prom photos.

> > We're vampires. Death's part of the deal.  Sharing sex partners -
> > little different.
> 
> I guess so. Part of the whole take what you want theme though.

Maybe it's the idea of sharing?  That's not taking, it's agreeing to get
along for a common goal.

> > Gotta remember too - some stuff *is* new to him.  Like the gay thing. 
> > He freaked about that for a while. Quietly, but freaked.  
> 
> Is he okay with it now? I mean, around straight people. I noticed he got
> the wanting men bit down pretty good. 

Yeah, he's got wanting men down.  But the being gay stuff - still getting
used to it.  He's ok on his own turf - the office, Caritas, his place, my
place, and all that.  But he's not fully there yet, esp about new people
finding out.  Hasn't told his family yet either. Can't say I blame him or
even that I think he should.

> > > Really? Just how do I go about gettin' him in this mood?
> > 
> > I'll show you. 
> 
> Speaking of pretty mental pictures...

You can have a nice comfy chair to watch the show in.

> > Yep. Been there.  Did that when I hired him, did that when I didn't
> > fire him, did it when he finally realized I loved him - it's nice.
> 
> Yeah, it is. Makes me want to think of more things to do for him just to
> see it again. But fuck if I can think of any bleeding thing he wants
> that I can give him. Other than the obvious. 

Yeah.  Still working on that m'self.

> > Sorry.  I - I wanna do the right thing here, but I don't know how. 
> > Give me a hint at least?
> 
> I-- I would if I could, Angel. I don't know what the right thing is,
> except apologize, which you already did. Twice. Doesn't help a hell of
> lot, but there we are. I know you weren't trying to hurt me. You did.

I'm sorry.

A.

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

Hello Wesley --

> > No one could think he was, pet, who'd heard him talk about you.
> 
> That's flattering of you to say.

Well, yeah. But its true too.

> He doesn't seem to have any attachment to his mortal self.  Perhaps this
> was part of Darla's own influence. Angel said that Darla was not her
> mortal name and that he felt she probably couldn't even remember her
> mortal name if she tried. I suspect Angel still knows his, but feels so
> little attachment to it as to make remembering it irrelevant.

Yeah, that's the impression I always had. It's so *weird*. I mean, I
remember all that stuff. Always have. Like it was me. Well, it was me. Why
wouldn't I?

> > > I didn't actually have a plan, gorgeous, but I was thinking of
> > > getting you naked.
> > 
> > Throwing my words back at me, pet?
> 
> Oh, was I?

Wish I'd seen the faux innocent look that must have gone with that line.
Yes you bloody well were. One of the many reasons I like you so much.

> > Now I really wish I was there. Could kiss you for hours for that one.
> > After complying with your request, of course. Gonna rip the shirt off
> > me like I did to you? Or just pin me up against the wall? 
> 
> I thought I might just attack you at the doorway and let matters proceed
> naturally from there.

Mmmmm. I love the mental picture, pet. Sounds like a brilliant evening to
me.

> > > > He got his. Besides, he was right. Not that that made it any more
> > > > pleasant. Less so, if anything. And yeah, its at odds with my
> > > > image. That's what my image is for. Changed the accent -- which
> > > > wasn't easy -- changed the name, changed the attitude, even
> > > > changed the damned walk.
> > > 
> > > Really?  I never would have suspected it.
> > 
> > The walk? Or the whole package?
> 
> The entire package.  It seems so natural to you now.  Although so does
> this hidden romantic side of you as well.

You're one of the few who's ever seen that one, pet. At least, one of the
few who's still alive. But the other -- I've had a lot of practice. But
maybe its more than that. Maybe it never was pretend. Maybe it was always
in there, just waiting until I was no longer afraid of bein' laughed at to
come out. But if Dru hadn't come along, I don't think I ever would have
stopped bein' afraid. I would have scurried about my conventional days,
always yearning after something grand and shining, but never having the
nerve to grasp the bleedin' nettle and take it. I owe her my life, and
Angelus too.

> > > It's rather similar to Angel, when you think of it.  I... I suspect
> > > sometimes for him it's difficult to realize how much of himself
> > > might have been in all that cruelty.
> > 
> > Yeah, it is. Though in the opposite direction. He told me there was
> > none of him in Angelus, but a lot of Angelus in him. 
> 
> Really?  Fascinating.  That bears thinking about.

Let me know what thoughts, if any, it inspires? Though I told him I
thought there was just a tiny bit of Angel in Angelus. Not sure if he
believed me. 

> I've never played it either. I simply recalled seeing it in the store
> and it came to mind when you mentioned playing games which have titles
> of a personal interest to you.

It would certainly be appropriate. If I see it, I'll give it a go.

> I'm all right, really.

Alright, I believe you. But if you should happen to run across something
you'd want that I could give you, you will tell me, won't you? And if I
should happen to wake up some night with the moon and the stars in my
pocket, you won't have any objection to accepting them? 

> > Took me a minute there. First thought was, couldn't we do it together
> > anyplace with a band and a dance floor? Not like we need special
> > equipment. But I suppose getting stared at is hardly your idea of a
> > good time, much as I've been known to enjoy it on occasion. Still, it
> > is LA, pet, there must be someplace where Angel and I could get
> > dressed up and show off our stunnningly handsome companion. 
> 
> I'm - I'm sure there are such places, only that I'm not familiar with
> them.  Angel might know. Or Cordy, or the Host.  We could ask around.

I will if you'd care for it, pet. If not -- I'll bring along a CD or two,
and ask you to dance with no audience at all. But I still want to see you
all dressed up. I don't suppose you have a picture?

> > I like the idea of you on top of me, pet. Opens up so many options.
> > Move up a little, and slide your cock into my mouth. Move down a
> > little, and slide mine inside you. Or the other way round, for that
> > matter. Or I could just keep teasing and stroking you. Sucking on your
> > nipples. Nibbling on your collarbone. Holding you close. 
> 
> That sounds positively divine, Spike.

I'm glad, pet. I want to make you happy. And longing. And breathless. And
eventually satisfied.

> > P.S. Are you ticklish?

> Er - I don't know?

Then I s'pose we'll find out together.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

Hello, Spike,

> > He doesn't seem to have any attachment to his mortal self.  Perhaps
> > this was part of Darla's own influence. Angel said that Darla was not
> > her mortal name and that he felt she probably couldn't even remember
> > her mortal name if she tried. I suspect Angel still knows his, but
> > feels so little attachment to it as to make remembering it irrelevant.
> 
> Yeah, that's the impression I always had. It's so *weird*. I mean, I
> remember all that stuff. Always have. Like it was me. Well, it was me.
> Why wouldn't I? 

Could it be age?  Angel is a good century your elder.  Perhaps also it's a
matter of habit. You continued to call yourself William, albeit "the
Bloody".  "Angel" on the other hand, is, I think we can all guess, nothing
like his mortal name.

> > > Throwing my words back at me, pet?
> > 
> > Oh, was I?
> 
> Wish I'd seen the faux innocent look that must have gone with that
> line. 

Faux?  I don't know what you're talking about, Spike.

> Yes you bloody well were. One of the many reasons I like you so
> much. 

And here you accuse me of no originality.  This is hardly the manner in
which to ensure that I spend our time apart thinking of ways to physically
pleasure you.

> > I thought I might just attack you at the doorway and let matters
> > proceed naturally from there.
> 
> Mmmmm. I love the mental picture, pet. Sounds like a brilliant evening
> to me.

I've been wondering if an invitation through e-mail would work, or if
you'll have to be on your best behavior if you actually wish to get
through that doorway.

> > > Yeah, it is. Though in the opposite direction. He told me there was
> > > none of him in Angelus, but a lot of Angelus in him. 
> > 
> > Really?  Fascinating.  That bears thinking about.
> 
> Let me know what thoughts, if any, it inspires? 

Of course.

> Though I told him I thought there was just a tiny bit of Angel in
> Angelus. Not sure if he believed me. 

I'm sure he didn't. I know he believes in the darkness in his own soul but
I do not think he feels his darkness - to extend this painfully - has a
light of its own.

> > I've never played it either. I simply recalled seeing it in the store
> > and it came to mind when you mentioned playing games which have titles
> > of a personal interest to you.
> 
> It would certainly be appropriate. If I see it, I'll give it a go.

I've thought of another - Tomb Raider.

> > I'm all right, really.
> 
> Alright, I believe you. But if you should happen to run across
> something you'd want that I could give you, you will tell me, won't you?

I shall. I promise.

> And if I should happen to wake up some night with the moon and the
> stars in my pocket, you won't have any objection to accepting them? 

No, although I will wonder why you have pockets the size of the universe
in your trousers.

> > I'm - I'm sure there are such places, only that I'm not familiar with
> > them.  Angel might know. Or Cordy, or the Host.  We could ask around.
> 
> I will if you'd care for it, pet. If not -- I'll bring along a CD or
> two, and ask you to dance with no audience at all. 

I think perhaps that would be preferable.

> But I still want to see you all dressed up. I don't suppose you have a
> picture? 

As a matter of fact, I do.  I've attached it to this letter. It's of
Rupert and myself when we chaperoned the Sunnydale High School prom.

> > That sounds positively divine, Spike.
> 
> I'm glad, pet. I want to make you happy. And longing. And breathless.
> And eventually satisfied. 

Eventually?

Wesley

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> > Good to know.
> 
> Not that I'm saying make a habit of it. Just don't kill yourself if you
> call him that.

Oh, I won't. It's just -- Willow might. They're writing to each other now.
And I have no clue what she's gonna say, but I figured that one was pretty
much a given.

> > > Giles excepted, of course.
> > 
> > No need to except him on my account. 
> 
> Yeah, well - Giles is hands-off for me.  

Yeah, I know. But me and him -- its weird. He either kinda likes me but
hates it, or hates me but is occasionally absent-minded about it. Not real
clear.

> > But he does care about
> > Buffy, and she loves him like a bloody father. So I deal. 
> 
> He's got his good points. Can't say we're friends, of course, but he's
> got his good points.

Besides liking Buffy? Well, he does keep chains in the house. And
Weetabix. Other than that, not much is comin' to mind.

> Look at it this way - it's no worse than the shit I said to him.

Yeah, luv, but you made it up to him. More than. I'm still workin' on it.

> Yep. Far as I know. Wasn't hanging around the school much by then 
> but still saw and heard a few things, esp. when graduation got close. 
> 'parently Cordy thought Wes was pretty sexy and Wes didn't think Cordy
> was half bad either.  Can't say I blame either one of them.

Well, if its not obvious by now that I think Wesley is one of the sexiest
men on this planet, I've failed somewhere. I don't remember Cordelia real
well -- and anything I can think of to say after that either means she's
sexy, which violates the off-limits, or means she's unattractive, which
violates the off-limits in the other direction. So I'm sticking with I
don't remember Cordelia real well. 

> > He said she used to seek out his company
> > in Sunnydale, didn't realize what that meant. Was it mutual?
> 
> Wes would say *you* "sought his company".  Amazing the details he 
> hides.

Isn't it though? No, Wesley, you sought *my* company. I sought *your*
cock.

> But yeah, they had a mutual crush kind of thing going.  Danced together
> at the prom.  Even talked a bit about Wes hanging out in Sunnydale after
> he quit the Watchers just to be with her.

Cute.

> But then they apparently tried kissing.  Zero chemistry.  Less than
> zero. 
>  Parted on good terms and here we are.

Strange, but hey. Whatever works for them.

  No soap operas to report. Just 
> that Wes now figures he knows why the thing with Cordy didn't work out
> and Cordy kinda wonders why I don't seem to be complaining about Wes's
> skills.

[grin] Well, as I seem to remember we both have mentioned, he learns fast.

> > > Could probably ask Cordy if she's got a picture if you're
> > > interested.
> > 
> > Nah. Thanks, but I'll ask Wesley. He asked to see some of my old
> > pictures. Might as well make it a trade. 
> 
> If he can't find any, lemme know.  Cordy's bound to have prom photos.

Will do.

> > > We're vampires. Death's part of the deal.  Sharing sex partners -
> > > little different.
> > 
> > I guess so. Part of the whole take what you want theme though.
> 
> Maybe it's the idea of sharing?  That's not taking, it's agreeing to get
> along for a common goal.

True. By what he says, Watcher philosophy would have a problem with
vampires who can share. Watcher philosophy apparently has a problem with
vampires having any kind of motivation or inner life at all. For bein'
called Watchers, they don't seem to notice very much.

> Yeah, he's got wanting men down.  But the being gay stuff - still
> getting used to it.  He's ok on his own turf - the office, Caritas, his
> place, my place, and all that.  But he's not fully there yet, esp about
> new people finding out.  Hasn't told his family yet either. Can't say I
> blame him or even that I think he should.

That explains it. I wanted to take him out dancing. And you too, of
course, if you wanted. He offered to look around for a suitable spot, but
he seemed a little thrown by the concept, and I can't tell if it's in a
good or a bad way. So I gave him a graceful out in my last letter -- we'll
see.

As for the rest -- fuck no. I don't think he should tell his dad anything
ever again, speakin' personally.

> > > > Really? Just how do I go about gettin' him in this mood?
> > > 
> > > I'll show you. 
> > 
> > Speaking of pretty mental pictures...
> 
> You can have a nice comfy chair to watch the show in.

Sounds perfect. Can I smoke?

> > > Sorry.  I - I wanna do the right thing here, but I don't know how. 
> > > Give me a hint at least?
> > 
> > I-- I would if I could, Angel. I don't know what the right thing is,
> > except apologize, which you already did. Twice. Doesn't help a hell of
> > lot, but there we are. I know you weren't trying to hurt me. You did.
> 
> I'm sorry.

I *know*, luv. You said. It'll be okay. Don't worry about it.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> > Not that I'm saying make a habit of it. Just don't kill yourself if
> > you call him that.
> 
> Oh, I won't. It's just -- Willow might. They're writing to each other
> now. 

They're *what*?  

Wait.  Curse.  Right. I knew that.

Shit.  Ok. Gonna go *seriously* spoil Wes over lunch now.  Christ.

> > Yeah, well - Giles is hands-off for me.  
> 
> Yeah, I know. But me and him -- its weird. He either kinda likes me but
> hates it, or hates me but is occasionally absent-minded about it. Not
> real clear. 

He's got a real love/hate relationship with vampires. For which I can only
say "you're welcome".  Whatever chance you had there I probably fucked up
in advance for you.  Sorry.

> > He's got his good points. Can't say we're friends, of course, but he's
> > got his good points.
> 
> Besides liking Buffy?

He's good *for* Buffy. Frankly from personal experience here I know for a
fact he'd die for her too.  That makes him ok in my book.

> > Yep. Far as I know. Wasn't hanging around the school much by then but
> > still saw and heard a few things, esp. when graduation got close. 
> > 'parently Cordy thought Wes was pretty sexy and Wes didn't think Cordy
> > was half bad either.  Can't say I blame either one of them.
> 
> Well, if its not obvious by now that I think Wesley is one of the
> sexiest men on this planet, I've failed somewhere. I don't remember
> Cordelia real well -- and anything I can think of to say after that
> either means she's sexy, which violates the off-limits, or means she's
> unattractive, which violates the off-limits in the other direction. So
> I'm sticking with I don't remember Cordelia real well. 

'preciate that.  And yeah - she's pretty.  Not saying I'd date her m'self,
but she's pretty.  

> > Maybe it's the idea of sharing?  That's not taking, it's agreeing to
> > get along for a common goal.
> 
> True. By what he says, Watcher philosophy would have a problem with
> vampires who can share. Watcher philosophy apparently has a problem with
> vampires having any kind of motivation or inner life at all. For bein'
> called Watchers, they don't seem to notice very much. 

Think they noticed but then stopped noticing something around 492 AD

> > Yeah, he's got wanting men down.  But the being gay stuff - still
> > getting used to it.  He's ok on his own turf - the office, Caritas,
> > his place, my place, and all that.  But he's not fully there yet, esp
> > about new people finding out.  Hasn't told his family yet either.
> > Can't say I blame him or even that I think he should.
> 
> That explains it. I wanted to take him out dancing. And you too, of
> course, if you wanted. He offered to look around for a suitable spot,
> but he seemed a little thrown by the concept, and I can't tell if it's
> in a good or a bad way. So I gave him a graceful out in my last letter
> -- we'll see. 

Yeah. Other than Caritas - which pretty much literally covers the whole
spectrum - Wes doesn't know any gay hotspots. Didn't exactly seek 'em out,
you know?  

> As for the rest -- fuck no. I don't think he should tell his dad
> anything ever again, speakin' personally. 

Tongue. I could do at least fifty different things to his dad's tongue
that wouldn't even come close to killing him.

Sorry. Just thinking out loud here.

> > You can have a nice comfy chair to watch the show in.
> 
> Sounds perfect. Can I smoke?

Sure. Bedroom's big enough. Shouldn't bother Wes.  I'd offer you mine
'cept you'd go through 'em all and where would I be?

> > I'm sorry.
> 
> I *know*, luv. You said. It'll be okay. Don't worry about it.

I'll make it up to you.

A.

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> > Oh, I won't. It's just -- Willow might. They're writing to each other
> > now. 

> They're *what*?  

> Wait.  Curse.  Right. I knew that.

> Shit.  Ok. Gonna go *seriously* spoil Wes over lunch now.  Christ.

Spoil him double for me, okay? I don't know if I should have even gone
alone with arranging this. But he really seemed to want it. 

> He's got a real love/hate relationship with vampires. For which I can
> only say "you're welcome".  Whatever chance you had there I probably
> fucked up in advance for you.  Sorry.

Not a problem. If he can't tell the difference between us, this never
would have worked anyway. Besides, if you caused the hate, you caused the
love too. Evens out. If he hadn't known you, there wouldn't have been a
chance in the first place.

> He's good *for* Buffy. Frankly from personal experience here I know for
> a fact he'd die for her too.  That makes him ok in my book.

True. Mine too. Hence, Xander is still alive.

> 'preciate that.  And yeah - she's pretty.  Not saying I'd date her
> m'self, but she's pretty.  

Fair enough.

> Think they noticed but then stopped noticing 
> something around 492 AD

Better than I expected, considering that Wesley says they started
literally before recorded history.

> Yeah. Other than Caritas - which pretty much literally covers the whole
> spectrum - Wes doesn't know any gay hotspots. Didn't exactly seek 'em
> out, you know?  

Yeah. I was amused. In *LA*, he knows several English pubs but not a
single gay hangout. We're gonna skip it, I can bring a couple of CDs and
ask him to dance someplace safe -- your place or his -- with no audience
at all.

> Tongue. I could do at least fifty different things to his dad's tongue
> that wouldn't even come close to killing him.
> 
> Sorry. Just thinking out loud here.

Never apologize to me for that. I'll help. I'll hold him down or hand you
the tools, anyway.

> > > You can have a nice comfy chair to watch the show in.
> > 
> > Sounds perfect. Can I smoke?
> 
> Sure. Bedroom's big enough. Shouldn't bother Wes.  I'd offer you mine
> 'cept you'd go through 'em all and where would I be?

Sending me out to get more. But that's alright, I've got my own.

> > > I'm sorry.

> > I *know*, luv. You said. It'll be okay. Don't worry about it.

> I'll make it up to you.

If you want to, Angel. But it's not necessary. It's just -- carried the
guilt for a long time, you know? Not sayin' I *wanted* you to be mad at
me. Wanted you to forgive me, I guess. Was kind of expecting, considering
the soul, that you might be mad at me for making her a vampire even if you
forgave me for disobeying you.

But you plain *forgot*. And then didn't give a shit even when you did
remember. I get why. It's *okay*. But ... remember what I said about the
chip? Pain should make somebody happy, or its wasted. Mine was wasted. 

And ... I wasn't expecting it. You don't try to hurt me anymore. So then I
got pissed at myself for having apparently lost all my bloody survival
instincts in a fucking week. So I slipped back into the old mode, just a
little too late to avoid you noticing that I'd been hit in the first
place.

Make sense?

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> > Shit.  Ok. Gonna go *seriously* spoil Wes over lunch now.  Christ.
> 
> Spoil him double for me, okay? I don't know if I should have even gone
> alone with arranging this. But he really seemed to want it. 

No. It's ok.  Think he'd throw a fit if he couldn't get his hands on all
the information he wanted.  It's just... no love lost in Sunnydale. 
Should've heard Xander laying into him in London.  Willow - not that she
isn't great - has even more cause than he does. Just know Wes is gonna sit
there and take it.  

> > He's got a real love/hate relationship with vampires. For which I can
> > only say "you're welcome".  Whatever chance you had there I probably
> > fucked up in advance for you.  Sorry.
> 
> Not a problem. If he can't tell the difference between us, this never
> would have worked anyway. Besides, if you caused the hate, you caused
> the love too. Evens out. If he hadn't known you, there wouldn't have
> been a chance in the first place. 

Suppose so.  Even still - hate fucking up.

> > He's good *for* Buffy. Frankly from personal experience here I know
> > for a fact he'd die for her too.  That makes him ok in my book.
> 
> True. Mine too. Hence, Xander is still alive.

You and Xander - sure you don't have a crush on him or something?

> > Think they noticed but then stopped noticing 
> > something around 492 AD
> 
> Better than I expected, considering that Wesley says they started
> literally before recorded history. 

Consdiering how long demons have been around there's a joke to be 
made there somewhere.

> > Yeah. Other than Caritas - which pretty much literally covers the
> > whole spectrum - Wes doesn't know any gay hotspots. Didn't exactly
> > seek 'em out, you know?  
> 
> Yeah. I was amused. In *LA*, he knows several English pubs but not a
> single gay hangout. 

Yep. That's Wes.  Hell I'm still halfway certain he *still* doesn't get
the West Hollywood jokes folks made about us - and this was long before
the Wes and Angel actually *are* boyfriends thing.

> We're gonna skip it, I can bring a couple of CDs
> and ask him to dance someplace safe -- your place or his -- with no
> audience at all. 

Probably best.  You're welcome to the hotel if you want.  Can move the
furniture out of the way in the lobby. Do it up a little nice.

> > Tongue. I could do at least fifty different things to his dad's tongue
> > that wouldn't even come close to killing him.
> > 
> > Sorry. Just thinking out loud here.
> 
> Never apologize to me for that. I'll help. I'll hold him down or hand
> you the tools, anyway. 

His dad's lucky plane flight's such a pain and my roots are here in LA. 
It'd sure as fuck be a weekend holiday worthwhile.

> > > I *know*, luv. You said. It'll be okay. Don't worry about it.
>  
> > I'll make it up to you.
> 
> If you want to, Angel. But it's not necessary. It's just -- carried the
> guilt for a long time, you know? Not sayin' I *wanted* you to be mad at
> me. Wanted you to forgive me, I guess. 

Would that help now?

> Was kind of expecting, considering the soul, that you might be mad at me
> for making her a vampire even if you forgave me for disobeying you. 

It's not an anger I can carry.  There's enough.  I don't make them now -
don't exactly get into the idea of anybody making 'em.  But there's enough
to deal with.  It's like getting pissed that water's clear or something. 
I just can't.

> Make sense?

Yeah. Still sorry.

A.

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

Hello Wesley --

> Could it be age?  Angel is a good century your elder.  Perhaps also it's
> a matter of habit. You continued to call yourself William, albeit "the
> Bloody".  "Angel" on the other hand, is, I think we can all guess,
> nothing like his mortal name.

Could be either, or both. Could just be attitude. He doesn't eat much, you
said? Maybe he just doesn't like human stuff much. Apart from you, I mean.

> > > > Throwing my words back at me, pet?
> > > 
> > > Oh, was I?
> > 
> > Wish I'd seen the faux innocent look that must have gone with that
> > line. 
> 
> Faux?  I don't know what you're talking about, Spike.

[grin] 'Course you don't, pet.

> > Yes you bloody well were. One of the many reasons I like you so
> > much. 
> 
> And here you accuse me of no originality.  This is hardly the manner in
> which to ensure that I spend our time apart thinking of ways to
> physically pleasure you.

Oh? What manner would ensure that? I would certainly be highly motivated
to attain it.

> I've been wondering if an invitation through e-mail would work, or if
> you'll have to be on your best behavior if you actually wish to get
> through that doorway.

Don't know. Good question. Going to make me beg, pet? Or just keep my
trapped in the doorway like a fly in amber? Could have some interesting
potential, that, if your neighbors were out of the way.

> > Though I told him I thought there was just a tiny bit of Angel in
> > Angelus. Not sure if he believed me. 
> 
> I'm sure he didn't. I know he believes in the darkness in his own soul
> but I do not think he feels his darkness - to extend this painfully -
> has a light of its own.

I don't know that it does. I don't know what that means. Angel asked me
what that bit of him was, and I told him it was an occasional flash of
tenderness in Angelus' eyes. Which is true. And he said that Angelus
always liked me, in a way. Which doesn't make any sense, especially as a
response to revealing one of Angelus' embarrassing secrets.

> I've thought of another - Tomb Raider.

I've heard of that one. Big chested bint with an Indiana Jones fetish.

> No, although I will wonder why you have pockets the size of the universe
> in your trousers.

But wouldn't they come in handy? Think of all the stuff you could have on
you, just in case. Bit recursive, though, since you'd be bound to be in
your own pocket.

> > > I'm - I'm sure there are such places, only that I'm not familiar
> > > with them.  Angel might know. Or Cordy, or the Host.  We could ask
> > > around.
> > 
> > I will if you'd care for it, pet. If not -- I'll bring along a CD or
> > two, and ask you to dance with no audience at all. 
> 
> I think perhaps that would be preferable.

That's settled, then. What sort of music do you like?

> > But I still want to see you all dressed up. I don't suppose you have a
> > picture? 
> 
> As a matter of fact, I do.  I've attached it to this letter. It's of
> Rupert and myself when we chaperoned the Sunnydale High School prom.

Thanks pet. You look just as delicious in a dinner jacket as I imagined
you would. Something about the shoulders, I think.

I should have a few pictures of me in the old days to show you shortly. My
mum is sending them over, along with a Cambridge shirt. (She being one of
the old acquaintances I mentioned the other day. Sorry to be misleading
there -- she was a rather old skeleton in my closet with Angel, and I
wanted to let him know of her continued existence before I mentioned her
to you.)

> > > That sounds positively divine, Spike.
> > 
> > I'm glad, pet. I want to make you happy. And longing. And breathless.
> > And eventually satisfied. 
> 
> Eventually?

It's more fun if it takes a while. I'd enjoy teasing you, pet. Stretching
it out. Making us both wait so when you come it'll be that much harder and
more intense. Besides, who's to say you'd be satisfied after just one go?

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> Hello Wesley --

Gorgeous.

> > Could it be age?  Angel is a good century your elder.  Perhaps also
> > it's a matter of habit. You continued to call yourself William, albeit
> > "the Bloody".  "Angel" on the other hand, is, I think we can all
> > guess, nothing like his mortal name.
> 
> Could be either, or both. Could just be attitude. He doesn't eat much,
> you said? Maybe he just doesn't like human stuff much. Apart from you, I
> mean. 

Angel seems to be of two minds regarding food.  For the most part he
doesn't eat it and will demur whenever it's offered.  However sometimes he
will if he has to - such as to pretend that he is human - and sometimes he
will try something just to see if he likes it. Which can have comical
results.

But... yes. I've felt that part of why he doesn't eat is that, well, it's
too human.

> > And here you accuse me of no originality.  This is hardly the manner
> > in which to ensure that I spend our time apart thinking of ways to
> > physically pleasure you.
> 
> Oh? What manner would ensure that? I would certainly be highly
> motivated to attain it. 

Cheeky and flirtatious seems to be working wonderfully.  Try going with
that.

> > I've been wondering if an invitation through e-mail would work, or if
> > you'll have to be on your best behavior if you actually wish to get
> > through that doorway.
> 
> Don't know. Good question. Going to make me beg, pet? Or just keep my
> trapped in the doorway like a fly in amber? Could have some interesting
> potential, that, if your neighbors were out of the way. 

You know Mrs. Starns already dislikes me.  However she lives upstairs. 
 We'll have to see.  

> > I'm sure he didn't. I know he believes in the darkness in his own soul
> > but I do not think he feels his darkness - to extend this painfully -
> > has a light of its own.
> 
> I don't know that it does. I don't know what that means. 

I meant in the sense that, as you say, there could be Angel in Angelus.
That Angelus might not be entirely evil.

> Angel asked me what that bit of him was, and I told him it was an
> occasional flash of tenderness in Angelus' eyes. Which is true. And he
> said that Angelus always liked me, in a way. Which doesn't make any
> sense, especially as a response to revealing one of Angelus'
> embarrassing secrets. 

Well you were speaking of tenderness. Perhaps he was explaining why 
it was there?

> > I've thought of another - Tomb Raider.
> 
> I've heard of that one. Big chested bint with an Indiana Jones fetish.

I wouldn't know. Just that it's another name which could apply to you.

> > No, although I will wonder why you have pockets the size of the
> > universe in your trousers.
> 
> But wouldn't they come in handy? Think of all the stuff you could have
> on you, just in case. Bit recursive, though, since you'd be bound to be
> in your own pocket. 

Now I know you've been drinking.

> > I think perhaps that would be preferable.
> 
> That's settled, then. What sort of music do you like?

Depends on the occasion.  Classical is fine if you'd prefer.

> > As a matter of fact, I do.  I've attached it to this letter. It's of
> > Rupert and myself when we chaperoned the Sunnydale High School prom.
> 
> Thanks pet. You look just as delicious in a dinner jacket as I imagined
> you would. Something about the shoulders, I think. 

Thank you.

> I should have a few pictures of me in the old days to show you shortly.
> My mum is sending them over, along with a Cambridge shirt. (She being
> one of the old acquaintances I mentioned the other day. Sorry to be
> misleading there -- she was a rather old skeleton in my closet with
> Angel, and I wanted to let him know of her continued existence before I
> mentioned her to you.) 

Your - your mother?  

> > Eventually?
> 
> It's more fun if it takes a while. I'd enjoy teasing you, pet.
> Stretching it out. Making us both wait so when you come it'll be that
> much harder and more intense. Besides, who's to say you'd be satisfied
> after just one go? 

You make a good point.

Wesley

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> No. It's ok.  Think he'd throw a fit if he couldn't get his hands on all
> the information he wanted.  It's just... no love lost in Sunnydale. 
> Should've heard Xander laying into him in London.  Willow - not that she
> isn't great - has even more cause than he does. Just know Wes is gonna
> sit there and take it.  

Shit. I know. Thing is, now that he's told me how it was, can't even
really tell her not to. But he's getting hurt. And I made it happen.

> > > He's got a real love/hate relationship with vampires. For which I
> > > can only say "you're welcome".  Whatever chance you had there I
> > > probably fucked up in advance for you.  Sorry.
> > 
> > Not a problem. If he can't tell the difference between us, this never
> > would have worked anyway. Besides, if you caused the hate, you caused
> > the love too. Evens out. If he hadn't known you, there wouldn't have
> > been a chance in the first place. 
> 
> Suppose so.  Even still - hate fucking up.

Luv. You killed his girlfriend. I suppose that's fucking up. At least,
it's been known to put a damper on a promising friendship. But that's
between you and him. You've fucked nothing up for me. Promise. None of
these people in Sunnydale would have ever given me the time of day if you
hadn't gotten 'em used to the idea of a vamp as someone you can talk to,
not just stake.

> > True. Mine too. Hence, Xander is still alive.
> 
> You and Xander - sure you don't have a crush on him or something?

Bloody positive. Never been so sure of anything in my life. You try living
in his fucking basement, in his sodding Hawaiian shirs, and see what you
think of him.

> Yep. That's Wes.  Hell I'm still halfway certain he *still* doesn't get
> the West Hollywood jokes folks made about us - and this was long before
> the Wes and Angel actually *are* boyfriends thing.

[grin] You gonna tell him?

> > We're gonna skip it, I can bring a couple of CDs
> > and ask him to dance someplace safe -- your place or his -- with no
> > audience at all. 

> Probably best.  You're welcome to the hotel if you want.  Can move the
> furniture out of the way in the lobby. Do it up a little nice.

Thanks. I'd like that.

> His dad's lucky plane flight's such a pain and my roots are here in LA. 
> It'd sure as fuck be a weekend holiday worthwhile.

Yeah, wouldn't it though? Where *does* his dad live? And have I mentioned
that I hate this bleeding chip?

> > If you want to, Angel. But it's not necessary. It's just -- carried
> > the guilt for a long time, you know? Not sayin' I *wanted* you to be
> > mad at me. Wanted you to forgive me, I guess. 
> 
> Would that help now?

If it were real. Maybe. Except how can you, when you don't feel like it
was you, and the you there is doesn't give a shit? Don't force it, luv.
It's not important.

> > Was kind of expecting, considering the soul, that you might be mad at
> > me for making her a vampire even if you forgave me for disobeying you.
> > 

> It's not an anger I can carry.  There's enough.  I don't make them now -
> don't exactly get into the idea of anybody making 'em.  But there's
> enough to deal with.  It's like getting pissed that water's clear or
> something.  I just can't.

Fair enough. Can't say I ever got into it, myself. She's the only one I
ever made. Can only think of two others I'd want to, just to keep 'em
around forever or so, and neither of 'em is likely to say yes, so I guess
she'll be an only child.

> > Make sense?
> 
> Yeah. Still sorry.

It's okay. Truly. I'm okay. What do you need me to say, Angel?

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> > No. It's ok.  Think he'd throw a fit if he couldn't get his hands on
> > all the information he wanted.  It's just... no love lost in
> > Sunnydale.  Should've heard Xander laying into him in London.  Willow
> > - not that she isn't great - has even more cause than he does. Just
> > know Wes is gonna sit there and take it.  
> 
> Shit. I know. Thing is, now that he's told me how it was, can't even
> really tell her not to. But he's getting hurt. And I made it happen. 

Wes's a big boy.  He asked to talk to Willow, he had to know this would
happen. Doesn't mean we gotta like it, just there's nothing to be gulity
about.

And I promise - tonight he gets spoiled. I'll make sure he's ok.  I'd do
anything for him.

> > > Not a problem. If he can't tell the difference between us, this
> > > never would have worked anyway. Besides, if you caused the hate, you
> > > caused the love too. Evens out. If he hadn't known you, there
> > > wouldn't have been a chance in the first place. 
> > 
> > Suppose so.  Even still - hate fucking up.
> 
> Luv. You killed his girlfriend. I suppose that's fucking up.

Actually thinking of the "tortured the man himself" there but yeah - Jenny
too.  

> At least, it's been known to put a damper on a promising friendship. But
> that's between you and him. You've fucked nothing up for me. Promise.
> None of these people in Sunnydale would have ever given me the time of
> day if you hadn't gotten 'em used to the idea of a vamp as someone you
> can talk to, not just stake. 

I suppose.

> > You and Xander - sure you don't have a crush on him or something?
> 
> Bloody positive. Never been so sure of anything in my life. You try
> living in his fucking basement, in his sodding Hawaiian shirs, and see
> what you think of him. 

Try doing what now?  Don't suppose you'd care to share?  And even if you
don't - do. Share.

> > Yep. That's Wes.  Hell I'm still halfway certain he *still* doesn't
> > get the West Hollywood jokes folks made about us - and this was long
> > before the Wes and Angel actually *are* boyfriends thing.
> 
> [grin] You gonna tell him?

Let him figure it out on his own.

> > Probably best.  You're welcome to the hotel if you want.  Can move the
> > furniture out of the way in the lobby. Do it up a little nice.
> 
> Thanks. I'd like that.

I'll see what I can do.

> > His dad's lucky plane flight's such a pain and my roots are here in
> > LA.  It'd sure as fuck be a weekend holiday worthwhile.
> 
> Yeah, wouldn't it though? Where *does* his dad live? And have I
> mentioned that I hate this bleeding chip? 

Yeah.  And somewhere in England. Don't know more than that. He 
doesn't talk about it, never made any long-distance calls on the 
company phone bill (at least not when I was paying it).  Sure as hell
didn't bring it up when we were actually *in* England.  I'm guessing not
London or Oxford since he didn't freak about maybe running into them. Even
if he wouldn't say it, he'd get nervous about something like that, you
know?  So I guess not.

> > Would that help now?
> 
> If it were real. Maybe. Except how can you, when you don't feel like it
> was you, and the you there is doesn't give a shit? Don't force it, luv.
> It's not important. 

K.

> > > Make sense?
> > 
> > Yeah. Still sorry.
> 
> It's okay. Truly. I'm okay. What do you need me to say, Angel?

I guess that you're ok. And mean it.

A.

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> > Hello Wesley --
> 
> Gorgeous.

It does funny things to my stomach when you call me that, pet. In a good
way. Like riding a roller coaster and Christmas morning all at once.

> Angel seems to be of two minds regarding food. 

He's of two minds regarding most things. Too bad neither one of 'em works
very well.

 For the most part he 
> doesn't eat it and will demur whenever it's offered.  However sometimes
> he will if he has to - such as to pretend that he is human - and
> sometimes he will try something just to see if he likes it. Which can
> have comical results.

I can imagine. What's he tried so far?

> But... yes. I've felt that part of why he doesn't eat is that, well,
> it's too human.

I'll never get that. Humans -- good company, good party snack. What's not
to like?

> Cheeky and flirtatious seems to be working wonderfully.  Try going with
> that.

I'll do my best.

> > > I've been wondering if an invitation through e-mail would work, or
> > > if you'll have to be on your best behavior if you actually wish to
> > > get through that doorway.
> > 
> > Don't know. Good question. Going to make me beg, pet? Or just keep my
> > trapped in the doorway like a fly in amber? Could have some
> > interesting potential, that, if your neighbors were out of the way. 
> 
> You know Mrs. Starns already dislikes me.  However she lives upstairs. 
>  We'll have to see.  

[grin] If she dislikes you anyway, not really much left to lose, is there?
Might as well give her a good reason. And I'd be more than happy to help.

> I meant in the sense that, as you say, there could be Angel in Angelus.
> That Angelus might not be entirely evil.

Oh. I see. He was pretty evil -- the Judge laid a hand on him and
pronounced him clean, after all. But there were things -- a love of
beauty. A tenderness for his family -- that if they're not good in
themselves, are at least neutral, and can drive people to good.
Personally, they just drive me to drink.

> > Angel asked me what that bit of him was, and I told him it was an
> > occasional flash of tenderness in Angelus' eyes. Which is true. And he
> > said that Angelus always liked me, in a way. Which doesn't make any
> > sense, especially as a response to revealing one of Angelus'
> > embarrassing secrets. 
> 
> Well you were speaking of tenderness. Perhaps he was explaining why it
> was there?

Maybe. But I'm not convinced its true -- well, he all but said it wasn't,
a few letters back -- and if it were, you'd think it would be the last
thing he'd want to admit to. Unless Angelus is hoping to convince me not
to keep my promise to Angel.

> I wouldn't know. Just that it's another name which could apply to you.

Don't know that I raid them exactly. But Tomb Resident doesn't have quite
the same ring to it. Hey, isn't there one called Resident Evil? Or was
that a movie?

> > > No, although I will wonder why you have pockets the size of the
> > > universe in your trousers.
> > 
> > But wouldn't they come in handy? Think of all the stuff you could have
> > on you, just in case. Bit recursive, though, since you'd be bound to
> > be in your own pocket. 
> 
> Now I know you've been drinking.

Just a wee bit. Has Red written to you, pet?

> > > I think perhaps that would be preferable.
> > 
> > That's settled, then. What sort of music do you like?
> 
> Depends on the occasion.  Classical is fine if you'd prefer.

Classical is fine. Rock is fine. Ballads are fine. Big band is fine.
Pretty well whatever you name is fine. I am familiar with popular music
for the last century and a half -- one of the minor perks of the vampire
lifestyle. I tend to listen to punk, myself, but I want something suitable
for dancing slow and close with you.

> > I should have a few pictures of me in the old days to show you
> > shortly. My mum is sending them over, along with a Cambridge shirt.
> > (She being one of the old acquaintances I mentioned the other day.
> > Sorry to be misleading there -- she was a rather old skeleton in my
> > closet with Angel, and I wanted to let him know of her continued
> > existence before I mentioned her to you.) 
> 
> Your - your mother?  

Yes. My original mum, I mean, not Dru. And she's technically my child now,
just to make things a bit more confusing. She still lives across the pond,
so she can pick up the shirt for me. Large alright for you, pet? Don't
worry, I told her to pay for it.

> > > Eventually?
> > 
> > It's more fun if it takes a while. I'd enjoy teasing you, pet.
> > Stretching it out. Making us both wait so when you come it'll be that
> > much harder and more intense. Besides, who's to say you'd be satisfied
> > after just one go? 
> 
> You make a good point.

You've got vampire stamina at your beck and call. Might as well make use
of it. I'll be beck and Angel can be call. Or the other way around.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> > Gorgeous.
> 
> It does funny things to my stomach when you call me that, pet. In a good
> way. Like riding a roller coaster and Christmas morning all at once. 

I wasn't aware it did that but I'm glad you find it appealing.

> I can imagine. What's he tried so far?

Let me see - coffee, of course.  Tea, beer, alcohol - he's no problem with
liquids, really.  For solids... There were Cordy's brownies last year,
which shouldn't be consumed by anyone, even a vampire seeking his own
redemption.  Er - he ate part of a meal once, as part of a case.  Didn't
bother with the vegetables, he said.  And he tried a Creme Egg last
Easter.

> > But... yes. I've felt that part of why he doesn't eat is that, well,
> > it's 
too 
> > human.
> 
> I'll never get that. Humans -- good company, good party snack. What's
> not to like? 

Being one?  The enjoyments to be found therein?

> > You know Mrs. Starns already dislikes me.  However she lives 
upstairs. 
> >  We'll have to see.  
> 
> [grin] If she dislikes you anyway, not really much left to lose, is
> there? Might as well give her a good reason.

I think firing off a shotgun round through my ceiling - her floor - rather
covered "good reason" but as you say it doesn't leave much else to lose.

> > I meant in the sense that, as you say, there could be Angel in 
Angelus. 
> > That Angelus might not be entirely evil.
> 
> Oh. I see. He was pretty evil -- the Judge laid a hand on him and
> pronounced him clean, after all. But there were things -- a love of
> beauty. A tenderness for his family -- that if they're not good in
> themselves, are at least neutral, and can drive people to good.

I agree.  Although family can just as easily turn one evil.  It must be
hard for Angel to balance these things.

> Personally, they just drive me to drink. 

That's an odd thing for a vampire who turned his own mother to say, isn't
it?

> > Well you were speaking of tenderness. Perhaps he was explaining 
why 
> > it was there?
> 
> Maybe. But I'm not convinced its true -- well, he all but said it
> wasn't, a few letters back -- and if it were, you'd think it would be
> the last thing he'd want to admit to. Unless Angelus is hoping to
> convince me not to keep my promise to Angel. 

Or Angel giving you information that Angelus normally wouldn't?

> > I wouldn't know. Just that it's another name which could apply to 
you.
> 
> Don't know that I raid them exactly. But Tomb Resident doesn't have
> quite the same ring to it. Hey, isn't there one called Resident Evil? Or
> was that a movie? 

According to my search of the Internet, it's a game.  Resident Evil it is.

> > Now I know you've been drinking.
> 
> Just a wee bit. Has Red written to you, pet?

Yes. We've been corresponding throughout the day, actually. I - I think
it's proving fruitful.

> > Depends on the occasion.  Classical is fine if you'd prefer.
> 
> Classical is fine. Rock is fine. Ballads are fine. Big band is fine.
> Pretty well whatever you name is fine. I am familiar with popular music
> for the last century and a half -- one of the minor perks of the vampire
> lifestyle. I tend to listen to punk, myself, but I want something
> suitable for dancing slow and close with you. 

I would imagine classical would be the way to go then.  I've CDs of my
own, if you'd like.

> > Your - your mother?  
> 
> Yes. My original mum, I mean, not Dru. And she's technically my child
> now, just to make things a bit more confusing. She still lives across
> the pond, so she can pick up the shirt for me. Large alright for you,
> pet? Don't worry, I told her to pay for it. 

Er - yes, large will be fine.  And I can assure you the Watchers had no
idea of your mother's continued existence.

> > You make a good point.
> 
> You've got vampire stamina at your beck and call. Might as well make use
> of it. I'll be beck and Angel can be call. Or the other way around. 

Should I call you Rosencrantz and Guildenstern?

Wesley

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> Wes's a big boy.  He asked to talk to Willow, he had to know this would
> happen. Doesn't mean we gotta like it, just there's nothing to be gulity
> about.

I know. I just feel like I should have told Red how much he matters to me.
Maybe she would have cut him a break. She seems to like me, sort of, some
days. Or alternatively, maybe she would have rode his ass twice as hard
and then run to tell Buffy about it.

> And I promise - tonight he gets spoiled. I'll make sure he's ok.  I'd do
> anything for him.

Know you would, Angel. I'm glad you two have each other. And for fuck's
sake kill me now, my brain has been taken over by a sodding greeting card
writer.

> > Luv. You killed his girlfriend. I suppose that's fucking up.
> 
> Actually thinking of the "tortured the man himself" there but yeah -
> Jenny too.  

I'm guessing she's the bigger deal. When he showed up and trashed our
place and all. But I could be wrong.

> > At least, it's been known to put a damper on a promising friendship.
> > But that's between you and him. You've fucked nothing up for me.
> > Promise. None of these people in Sunnydale would have ever given me
> > the time of day if you hadn't gotten 'em used to the idea of a vamp as
> > someone you can talk to, not just stake. 
> 
> I suppose.

True fact. Want me to ask 'em? I could send along a couple of
testemonials.

> > > You and Xander - sure you don't have a crush on him or something?
> > 
> > Bloody positive. Never been so sure of anything in my life. You try
> > living in his fucking basement, in his sodding Hawaiian shirs, and see
> > what you think of him. 
> 
> Try doing what now?  Don't suppose you'd care to share?  And even if you
> don't - do. Share.

It was after those commando freaks shoved the chip in my head, and I
escaped. I didn't have anywhere to go, Harmony threw me out, couldn't
fight back -- I went to the Slayer for protection. I know, pathetic. But
where else was I gonna go?

She took me in -- reluctantly. They were makin' Thanksgiving dinner and
being attacked by one pissed off Indian spirit with a Van Gogh habit. Come
to think of it, Xander said you were in town then.

Anyway, I ended up spending way way more time than I care to contemplate
chained up in Giles' bathtub, drinking from a bloody Kiss The Librarian
mug. And then Willow did a spell that went wrong, and it all got kind of
complicated. But the point was, Giles was having company, so he sent me to
Xander's, to live in the basement with him. 

Can I just tell you what a joy and delight that was? Fixing the bloody
leaky pipe that soaked the chair where I slept tied up. Cleaning up after
Xander. Doing his bloody laundry. Which I shrunk, alone with my clothes.
Listening to Xander canoodle with his demon girlie. Listening to Xander
insisting that he was a tasty morsel. Listening to Xander at all was a
mistake, really. 

It was then that I tried to stake myself, only bleedin' Xander had to walk
in with Red and spoil that too. They dragged me along to fight the evil of
the moment and I discovered I could hit demons, and eventually I moved out
to a crypt of my very own, which was still less depressing than the
basement. But I can tell you, it was the low point of an existence that
has also included getting the chip, having a pipe organ dropped on my
legs, and Harmony.

> > > Probably best.  You're welcome to the hotel if you want.  Can move
> > > the furniture out of the way in the lobby. Do it up a little nice.
> > 
> > Thanks. I'd like that.
> 
> I'll see what I can do.

I appreciate it. Doesn't need to be elaborate, though.

> Yeah.  And somewhere in England. Don't know more than that. He 
> doesn't talk about it, never made any long-distance calls on the 
> company phone bill (at least not when I was paying it).  Sure as hell
> didn't bring it up when we were actually *in* England.  I'm guessing not
> London or Oxford since he didn't freak about maybe running into them.
> Even if he wouldn't say it, he'd get nervous about something like that,
> you know?  So I guess not.

I guess not. How many Wyndham-Prices do you think there are? We could
track him. Except that would just make not killing him slowly that much
harder.

> > It's okay. Truly. I'm okay. What do you need me to say, Angel?
> 
> I guess that you're ok. And mean it.

How do you do that? Say it, easy. Mean it? Not there yet. Not quite. But
gettin' there, I promise. Just -- didn't see any reason to make you wait
through it too.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> > Wes's a big boy.  He asked to talk to Willow, he had to know this
> > would happen. Doesn't mean we gotta like it, just there's nothing to
> > be gulity about.
> 
> I know. I just feel like I should have told Red how much he matters to
> me. Maybe she would have cut him a break. She seems to like me, sort of,
> some days. Or alternatively, maybe she would have rode his ass twice as
> hard and then run to tell Buffy about it. 

Tough call. Probably best you didn't though.  Start telling everyone over
there you and Wes have bonded and it could raise more questions that don't
need answers.

> > And I promise - tonight he gets spoiled. I'll make sure he's ok.  I'd
> > do anything for him.
> 
> Know you would, Angel. I'm glad you two have each other. And for fuck's
> sake kill me now, my brain has been taken over by a sodding greeting
> card writer. 

I'm throwing around words like "boyfriend". Not like I can judge.

> > Actually thinking of the "tortured the man himself" there but yeah -
> > Jenny too.  
> 
> I'm guessing she's the bigger deal. When he showed up and trashed our
> place and all. But I could be wrong. 

No. You're probably right.  You know that's another time I don't... I
remember but... Never mind.

> > Try doing what now?  Don't suppose you'd care to share?  And even if
> > you don't - do. Share.
> 
> It was after those commando freaks shoved the chip in my head, and I
> escaped. I didn't have anywhere to go, Harmony threw me out, couldn't
> fight back -- I went to the Slayer for protection. I know, pathetic. But
> where else was I gonna go? 

I'm trying to factor in where going to the Slayer for help falls on the
scale compared to, say, "Harmony threw me out".  You were living with
*Harmony*??

> She took me in -- reluctantly. They were makin' Thanksgiving dinner and
> being attacked by one pissed off Indian spirit with a Van Gogh habit.
> Come to think of it, Xander said you were in town then. 

Yeah. Was.

> Anyway, I ended up spending way way more time than I care to
> contemplate chained up in Giles' bathtub, drinking from a bloody Kiss
> The Librarian mug. And then Willow did a spell that went wrong, 

What spell?

> Giles was having
> company, so he sent me to Xander's, to live in the basement with him. 

Giles just doesn't like you, huh?

Wait - Xander was in Giles's basement?  

> It was then that I tried to stake myself, only bleedin' Xander had to
> walk in with Red and spoil that too. They dragged me along to fight the
> evil of the moment and I discovered I could hit demons, and eventually I
> moved out to a crypt of my very own, which was still less depressing
> than the basement. But I can tell you, it was the low point of an
> existence that has also included getting the chip, having a pipe organ
> dropped on my legs, and Harmony. 

You know, I've been to Hell.  I can honestly say - that sucks more. 
Hell's less embarassing. You'll like it.

> > I'll see what I can do.
> 
> I appreciate it. Doesn't need to be elaborate, though.

It's a nice place. Art deco. Won't need much.

> I guess not. How many Wyndham-Prices

Wyndam-Pryce. With a y.

>  do you think there are? We could track him. Except that would just
> make not killing him slowly that much harder. 

Yeah. Definitely.  Probably better I don't know.

A.

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> I wasn't aware it did that but I'm glad you find it appealing.

Very. Miss you, pet. At the risk of sounding like Angel, I want to show my
appreciation. And there are better uses for my mouth than speaking for
that.

> > I'll never get that. Humans -- good company, good party snack. What's
> > not to like? 
> 
> Being one?  The enjoyments to be found therein?

But he isn't one. Why not enjoy the bits you still can?

> I think firing off a shotgun round through my ceiling - her floor -
> rather covered "good reason" but as you say it doesn't leave much else
> to lose.

Alright, I can see that might annoy the neighbors. Why did you? Bit of
target practice? Or was she having a wild party?

> I agree.  Although family can just as easily turn one evil.  It must be
> hard for Angel to balance these things.

I'm sure it is.

> > Personally, they just drive me to drink. 
> 
> That's an odd thing for a vampire who turned his own mother to say,
> isn't it?

I didn't mean family. I meant tenderness in general. Mum is alright.
Always has been. I lucked out, like I said.

> > > Well you were speaking of tenderness. Perhaps he was explaining 
> why 
> > > it was there?
> > 
> > Maybe. But I'm not convinced its true -- well, he all but said it
> > wasn't, a few letters back -- and if it were, you'd think it would be
> > the last thing he'd want to admit to. Unless Angelus is hoping to
> > convince me not to keep my promise to Angel. 
> 
> Or Angel giving you information that Angelus normally wouldn't?

Still not used to that. It seems like such a crazy way to operate. Fuck
knows I've been volunteering my weaknesses left right and center, but I'm
insane. He's shrewd.

> Yes. We've been corresponding throughout the day, actually. I - I think
> it's proving fruitful.

I'm glad, then. Has she -- has it -- are you okay, pet?

> I would imagine classical would be the way to go then.  I've CDs of my
> own, if you'd like.

Such as? I'll bring some music for this, but I'd like to know what you
fancy too.

> Er - yes, large will be fine.  And I can assure you the Watchers had no
> idea of your mother's continued existence.

I suspect they know of her, just not the relationship. Ever hear of the
Dark Menace of Oxfordshire? Not exactly the Scourge of Europe, but
reasonably well known among the local cogniscenti.

> Should I call you Rosencrantz and Guildenstern?

Preferably not. Good film, though.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> > I wasn't aware it did that but I'm glad you find it appealing.
> 
> Very. Miss you, pet. At the risk of sounding like Angel, I want to show
> my appreciation. And there are better uses for my mouth than speaking
> for that. 

Do you know I'm actually missing you as well?  

> > Being one?  The enjoyments to be found therein?
> 
> But he isn't one. Why not enjoy the bits you still can?

This is Angel we are talking about, Spike.  His relationship with me aside
he still has a difficult time remembering he's *allowed* to enjoy things.

> > I think firing off a shotgun round through my ceiling - her floor -
> > rather covered "good reason" but as you say it doesn't leave much else
> > to lose.
> 
> Alright, I can see that might annoy the neighbors. Why did you? Bit of
> target practice? Or was she having a wild party? 

I was being attacked by demons.  A shotgun seemed the fastest 
method of trying to take care of them. 

> > That's an odd thing for a vampire who turned his own mother to say,
> > isn't it?
> 
> I didn't mean family. I meant tenderness in general. Mum is alright.
> Always has been. I lucked out, like I said. 

I see.  Er - how does she feel about the chip?  Did you tell her?

> > Or Angel giving you information that Angelus normally wouldn't?
> 
> Still not used to that. It seems like such a crazy way to operate. Fuck
> knows I've been volunteering my weaknesses left right and center, but
> I'm insane. He's shrewd. 

I - I can't imagine what it must have been like, living with Angelus for
so long.  Particularly given his talents.

> > Yes. We've been corresponding throughout the day, actually. I - I
> > think it's proving fruitful.
> 
> I'm glad, then. Has she -- has it -- are you okay, pet?

What?  Yes, of course.  Why wouldn't I be?

> > I would imagine classical would be the way to go then.  I've CDs of my
> > own, if you'd like.
> 
> Such as? I'll bring some music for this, but I'd like to know what you
> fancy too.

Prokofiev, Henry Purcell, Chopin, Mozart - practically every opera ever
written as well.

> > Er - yes, large will be fine.  And I can assure you the Watchers had
> > no idea of your mother's continued existence.
> 
> I suspect they know of her, just not the relationship. Ever hear of the
> Dark Menace of Oxfordshire? Not exactly the Scourge of Europe, but
> reasonably well known among the local cogniscenti. 

That was your mother??  You're joking!  She killed one of my 
classmates in my final year!  Dear God what a small world.

Wesley

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> Do you know I'm actually missing you as well?  

Raving bloody mad, you must be. But I like it.

> This is Angel we are talking about, Spike.  His relationship with me
> aside he still has a difficult time remembering he's *allowed* to enjoy
> things.

Yeah, I know you're right. But why the hell not?

> I was being attacked by demons.  A shotgun seemed the fastest 
> method of trying to take care of them. 

I take it you didn't care to tell her that bit -- or she didn't believe
it.

> I see.  Er - how does she feel about the chip?  Did you tell her?

No. Don't want her to worry. Buffy almost told her -- thought I should
have. But like I told her, she didn't tell her mum about bein' the slayer
until she had to.

> I - I can't imagine what it must have been like, living with Angelus for
> so long.  Particularly given his talents.

It was -- exhilerating. And scary. And painful. And wild. And did I
mention painful? And fun. Always and especially that. It was a dearly
bought pleasure, sometimes, but it was worth it.

> > > Yes. We've been corresponding throughout the day, actually. I - I
> > > think it's proving fruitful.
> > 
> > I'm glad, then. Has she -- has it -- are you okay, pet?
> 
> What?  Yes, of course.  Why wouldn't I be?

Because ... the way you've explained it, there's not much love lost
between you and the Scoobies. Didn't know if Red was makin' you pay for
it. Usually she's so soft and sympathetic she can't finish a bloody
sentence, but there's soddin' steel underneath, and sometimes it shows.

> Prokofiev, Henry Purcell, Chopin, Mozart - practically every opera ever
> written as well.

I never even heard of Prokofiev. I'll look him up.

> That was your mother??  You're joking!  She killed one of my 
> classmates in my final year!  Dear God what a small world.

No joke. That's mum. Who'd she kill? Anyone good?

--Spike

P.S. She doesn't come over here. Doesn't care for Yanks. But let me know
before the next time you go back to England, pet, so I can send her your
picture and tell her you're off limits, alright? Just in case? -- 

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> > Do you know I'm actually missing you as well?  
> 
> Raving bloody mad, you must be. 

I was thinking something very similar myself.  

> But I like it.

I'm glad.

> > This is Angel we are talking about, Spike.  His relationship with me
> > aside he still has a difficult time remembering he's *allowed* to
> > enjoy things.
> 
> Yeah, I know you're right. But why the hell not?

Force of habit?  Spend one hundred years depressed and forget *how* 
to enjoy oneself?

And I've undoubtedly said it before but your own words ring true here -
only bad vampires have any fun.

> > I was being attacked by demons.  A shotgun seemed the fastest 
> > method of trying to take care of them. 
> 
> I take it you didn't care to tell her that bit -- or she didn't believe
> it.

Er - no.  I had to tell her it went off while I was cleaning it.  Luckily
she wasn't at home at the time.  Completely lost my security deposit,
though.  Although the broken windows and demon blood greatly helped there.

> > I - I can't imagine what it must have been like, living with Angelus
> > for so long.  Particularly given his talents.
> 
> It was -- exhilerating. And scary. And painful. And wild. And did I
> mention painful? And fun. Always and especially that. It was a dearly
> bought pleasure, sometimes, but it was worth it. 

For a vampire that sounds ideal.

> > > I'm glad, then. Has she -- has it -- are you okay, pet?
> > 
> > What?  Yes, of course.  Why wouldn't I be?
> 
> Because ... the way you've explained it, there's not much love lost
> between you and the Scoobies. Didn't know if Red was makin' you pay for
> it. Usually she's so soft and sympathetic she can't finish a bloody
> sentence, but there's soddin' steel underneath, and sometimes it shows. 

Oh no. It's fine. Thank you.

> > Prokofiev, Henry Purcell, Chopin, Mozart - practically every opera
> > ever written as well.
> 
> I never even heard of Prokofiev. I'll look him up.

Wonderful composer. I'm almost certain you have heard of him without being
aware of it.  Do you recall Peter and the Wolf?  That's one of his.  

> > That was your mother??  You're joking!  She killed one of my 
> > classmates in my final year!  Dear God what a small world.
> 
> No joke. That's mum. Who'd she kill? Anyone good?

No one I was particularly close to.  But that's just as much my own fault
as anything.  At the time I was very wrapped up in my schoolwork and
preparations for my Watcher position.

> P.S. She doesn't come over here. Doesn't care for Yanks. But let me know
> before the next time you go back to England, pet, so I can send her your
> picture and tell her you're off limits, alright? Just in case? 

I shall. Thank you.

Wesley

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> Tough call. Probably best you didn't though.  Start telling everyone
> over there you and Wes have bonded and it could raise more questions
> that don't need answers.

That was my thought, yeah. I'm feeling bad about not telling Buffy, but
she doesn't need that right now. And as long I'm not gonna tell her,
running about telling all her friends is not such a clever plan.

> I'm throwing around words like "boyfriend". Not like I can judge.

Noticed that. But sure as fuck wasn't going to comment, now that I'm doing
the soppy stuff myself.

> No. You're probably right.  You know that's another time I don't... I
> remember but... Never mind.

No, go on. You don't what? And which time? Killing Jenny? Or when Giles
showed up at our place? This is the same as me and mum, right? What other
times does this happen about?

> I'm trying to factor in where going to the Slayer for help falls on the
> scale compared to, say, "Harmony threw me out".  You were living with
> *Harmony*??

Kind of. Occasionally. Left her a lot. Oh, and tried to stake her and
stuff, but she was wearing the Gem of Amara at the time. Why the hell did
you smash that, anyway? Would have come in bloody useful, right about now.

Anyway, Harm was an idiot, but she was a decent lay when she stopped
yammering for two minutes, and she had a place to sleep. When I was gone I
completely forgot her existence, to tell you the truth. But I went back
'cause I needed a place to crash while I tried to kill the Slayer. Told
her I'd never leave her again and all that bullshit. And then got
kidnapped by the bleedin' commandos. Wouldn't you figure, the one time I
actually didn't do it on purpose is the one time she grew a spine and
turfed me out. She reads too many self-help books. Amazin' she can read at
all, really.

> > She took me in -- reluctantly. They were makin' Thanksgiving dinner
> > and being attacked by one pissed off Indian spirit with a Van Gogh
> > habit. Come to think of it, Xander said you were in town then. 
> 
> Yeah. Was.

Why? Or shouldn't I ask?

> > Anyway, I ended up spending way way more time than I care to
> > contemplate chained up in Giles' bathtub, drinking from a bloody Kiss
> > The Librarian mug. And then Willow did a spell that went wrong, 
> 
> What spell?

A my will be done spell. It was right after wolfboy left town, and she was
a basket case. And the rest of the scoobies didn't even see it -- knew she
was sad, but thought she was dealing. I had to point it out, for fuck's
sake. Not like me and Red were exactly tight. But it was bloody obvious. 

So Giles came down on her for forgetting to get truth spell ingredients to
use on me, and Xander came down on her for drowning her sorrows. And Buffy
ran off to find me instead of staying home to watch movies with her. (I'd
escaped from Giles' 'cause I figured they were gonna kill me once I narked
on the commandos. I mean, I would. It only makes sense.) 

So she did the spell to make it all better. But it didn't give her what
she wanted, it just made whatever she stated true. And you know how Red
talks. Lots of metaphors. Like if I'd done the spell, you really would be
an umbrella. It was an entertaining day or two till she figured out what
she was doing to everybody and got it reversed. And then baked cookies for
everyone but me till she exhausted the Sunnydale chocolate chip reserves.

> > Giles was having
> > company, so he sent me to Xander's, to live in the basement with him. 
> 
> Giles just doesn't like you, huh?

Not really, no. Though we did watch Passions together last summer. And to
be fair -- not that I can see any particular reason to do that -- if he
was gonna snuggle with his honey in decent privacy, there weren't too many
other places to send me. The girls were in the halls at university, and I
don't think it would have occurred to Giles to ask Joyce.

> Wait - Xander was in Giles's basement?  

No, Xander lives in his parents basement. 

> > It was then that I tried to stake myself, only bleedin' Xander had to
> > walk in with Red and spoil that too. They dragged me along to fight
> > the evil of the moment and I discovered I could hit demons, and
> > eventually I moved out to a crypt of my very own, which was still less
> > depressing than the basement. But I can tell you, it was the low point
> > of an existence that has also included getting the chip, having a pipe
> > organ dropped on my legs, and Harmony. 
> 
> You know, I've been to Hell.  I can honestly say - that sucks more. 
> Hell's less embarassing. You'll like it.

Thought I might. Though I'm not in any hurry to find out. What was it
like, Angel? Unless you don't want to talk about it, of course.

> Wyndam-Pryce. With a y.

Thanks.

> >  do you think there are? We could track him. Except that would just
> > make not killing him slowly that much harder. 
> 
> Yeah. Definitely.  Probably better I don't know.

Me too. Not that I could do much. But mum's over there anyway, and it
would be far too easy to make a casual suggestion or two.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> That was my thought, yeah. I'm feeling bad about not telling Buffy, but
> she doesn't need that right now. And as long I'm not gonna tell her,
> running about telling all her friends is not such a clever plan. 

'xactly.

> > I'm throwing around words like "boyfriend". Not like I can judge.
> 
> Noticed that.

Thanks for not commenting.

> But sure as fuck wasn't going to comment, now that I'm doing the soppy
> stuff myself. 

Two of us. Sappy together.  The world now ends.

> > No. You're probably right.  You know that's another time I don't... I
> > remember but... Never mind.
> 
> No, go on. You don't what? And which time? Killing Jenny? Or when Giles
> showed up at our place? This is the same as me and mum, right? What
> other times does this happen about? 

I can remember when I turned but sometimes it gets foggy.  Or like the
details aren't there unless I think about 'em or something reminds me.
It's - it's there but not *there*.  

But yeah - kinda like when you asked about your mom. Not that I totally
forgot, just couldn't remember right away.  

And - and I remember Jenny, and Giles... those two are pretty clear,
actually.  Going after Buffy, I remember that.  Can remember the rest if -
well, I can.

Other times? Dunno. Dunno what I forget until somebody reminds me of it.

> > I'm trying to factor in where going to the Slayer for help falls on
> > the scale compared to, say, "Harmony threw me out".  You were living
> > with *Harmony*??
> 
> Kind of. Occasionally. Left her a lot. Oh, and tried to stake her and
> stuff, but she was wearing the Gem of Amara at the time. Why the hell
> did you smash that, anyway? Would have come in bloody useful, right
> about now. 

Got better things to do than protect a ring.

> Anyway, Harm was an idiot, but she was a decent lay 

Christ.

> > > She took me in -- reluctantly. They were makin' Thanksgiving dinner
> > > and being attacked by one pissed off Indian spirit with a Van Gogh
> > > habit. Come to think of it, Xander said you were in town then. 
> > 
> > Yeah. Was.
> 
> Why? Or shouldn't I ask?

Doyle had a vision. Said Buffy was in trouble. 

> > > Giles was having
> > > company, so he sent me to Xander's, to live in the basement with
> > > him. 
> > 
> > Giles just doesn't like you, huh?
> 
> Not really, no. Though we did watch Passions together last summer. And
> to be fair -- not that I can see any particular reason to do that -- if
> he was gonna snuggle with his honey in decent privacy, there weren't too
> many other places to send me. The girls were in the halls at university,
> and I don't think it would have occurred to Giles to ask Joyce. 

Can see asking Joyce going a lot of painful nowhere fast if Buffy found
out about it.

> > Wait - Xander was in Giles's basement?  
> 
> No, Xander lives in his parents basement. 

Really? That's a shame.

> > You know, I've been to Hell.  I can honestly say - that sucks more. 
> > Hell's less embarassing. You'll like it.
> 
> Thought I might. Though I'm not in any hurry to find out. What was it
> like, Angel? Unless you don't want to talk about it, of course. 

Hell.  Pretty much what you'd expect.  Less parking.

A.

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> > > Do you know I'm actually missing you as well?   
> > Raving bloody mad, you must be. 
> I was thinking something very similar myself.  

How could you not?

> > But I like it. 
> I'm glad.

Well that's alright then. We'll be mad together.

> Force of habit?  Spend one hundred years depressed and forget *how* to
> enjoy oneself?

I suppose. And the bloody curse breaking didn't do him any favors there --
sets it up so seeking happiness is dangerous and selfish.

> And I've undoubtedly said it before but your own words ring true here -
> only bad vampires have any fun.

Yeah. But you know, I'm learnin' it doesn't have to be that way. Kickin'
the shit out of demons is fun. Havin' people to talk to again is fun.
Taking care of Buffy is fun. You and Angel are a hell of a lot of fun. Not
sayin' I don't miss -- a lot of things. But it's not all pits and no
cherries in the good guys camp after all.

> Er - no.  I had to tell her it went off while I was cleaning it. 
> Luckily she wasn't at home at the time.  Completely lost my security
> deposit, though.  Although the broken windows and demon blood greatly
> helped there.

Sure you don't want to move into a crypt yourself, pet? The neighbors are
a very quiet, tolerant bunch.

> > > I - I can't imagine what it must have been like, living with Angelus
> > > for so long.  Particularly given his talents.
> > 
> > It was -- exhilarating. And scary. And painful. And wild. And did I
> > mention painful? And fun. Always and especially that. It was a dearly
> > bought pleasure, sometimes, but it was worth it. 
> 
> For a vampire that sounds ideal.

In a lot of ways it was. If I had a regret -- besides leaving him alone to
face the damned curse -- it was nothing to do with his particular style of
entertainment. It was that I could never really do anything for him --
never really matter. Self-sufficient bugger never needed anyone but Darla,
and I'm not even sure about that.

> Oh no. It's fine. Thank you.

Glad to hear it.

> Wonderful composer. I'm almost certain you have heard of him without
> being aware of it.  Do you recall Peter and the Wolf?  That's one of
> his.  

Oh! yeah, then I have. At least in passing.

> > No joke. That's mum. Who'd she kill? Anyone good?
> 
> No one I was particularly close to.  But that's just as much my own
> fault as anything.  At the time I was very wrapped up in my schoolwork
> and preparations for my Watcher position.

Well considering mum had him for supper, that's just as well. I was rather
hoping for someone you'd disliked. Was it during exams? She always liked
that aftertaste of fatigue and anxiety. And at least the poor bastards
never had to see their marks.

> I shall. Thank you.

Any time. Can't have my mum snacking on my friends. Socially awkward
doesn't begin to describe it.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> Well that's alright then. We'll be mad together.

Something else I never thought I'd have in common with you.

> > Force of habit?  Spend one hundred years depressed and forget *how* to
> > enjoy oneself?
> 
> I suppose. And the bloody curse breaking didn't do him any favors there
> -- sets it up so seeking happiness is dangerous and selfish.

Precisely.  Particularly when men like Rupert breathing down his neck on
the odd chance that Angel forgets himself for a single bloody moment and
cracks something halfway like unto a smile.

> Yeah. But you know, I'm learnin' it doesn't have to be that way. Kickin'
> the shit out of demons is fun. Havin' people to talk to again is fun.
> Taking care of Buffy is fun. You and Angel are a hell of a lot of fun.
> Not sayin' I don't miss -- a lot of things. But it's not all pits and no
> cherries in the good guys camp after all.

You see? I shall be a bad influence upon you yet.

> Sure you don't want to move into a crypt yourself, pet? The neighbors
> are a very quiet, tolerant bunch.

The idea is appreciated but crypts are remarkably cold - as I'm sure
you've noticed.

No.  The only place I would consider moving to right now... Well the
landlord wouldn't agree to it.

> > For a vampire that sounds ideal.
> 
> In a lot of ways it was. If I had a regret -- besides leaving him alone
> to face the damned curse -- it was nothing to do with his particular
> style of entertainment. It was that I could never really do anything for
> him -- never really matter. Self-sufficient bugger never needed anyone
> but Darla, and I'm not even sure about that.

I... I wasn't there for most of his interactions with Darla but for what
it's worth... As obsessed as he was with her, I did get the feeling as
though there wasn't a connection.  That from Darla's side of it she just
did not get through to him.  He abandoned everything for her, yes, but...
there was still a wall of sorts, emotionally.  And as much as I'd like to
say credit for that goes entirely to his possession of a soul, I somehow
got the impression that for Darla this wasn't new.

> > Wonderful composer. I'm almost certain you have heard of him without
> > being aware of it.  Do you recall Peter and the Wolf?  That's one of
> > his.  
> 
> Oh! yeah, then I have. At least in passing.

Precisely.  You'll often hear it in commercials and the like, if nothing
else.

> Well considering mum had him for supper, that's just as well. I was
> rather hoping for someone you'd disliked.

Oh no.  Sorry.  Neither liked nor disliked. Simply knew of.

> Was it during exams? She always liked that aftertaste of fatigue and
> anxiety. And at least the poor bastards never had to see their marks. 

It was.  Which was part of the reason why I wasn't paying too much 
attention to it. Ironically.

> Any time. Can't have my mum snacking on my friends. Socially awkward
> doesn't begin to describe it.

I am insane. I'm truly growing to like you.

Wesley

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> > That was my thought, yeah. I'm feeling bad about not telling Buffy,
> > but she doesn't need that right now. And as long I'm not gonna tell
> > her, running about telling all her friends is not such a clever plan. 
> 
> 'xactly.

See? I may achieve wisdom yet. Or at least enough sense to come in out of
the rain.

> > > I'm throwing around words like "boyfriend". Not like I can judge.
> > 
> > Noticed that.
> 
> Thanks for not commenting.

Welcome.

> > But sure as fuck wasn't going to comment, now that I'm doing the soppy
> > stuff myself. 
> 
> Two of us. Sappy together.  The world now ends.

Not again...

> > > No. You're probably right.  You know that's another time I don't...
> > > I remember but... Never mind.
> > 
> > No, go on. You don't what? And which time? Killing Jenny? Or when
> > Giles showed up at our place? This is the same as me and mum, right?
> > What other times does this happen about? 
> 
> I can remember when I turned but sometimes it gets foggy.  Or like the
> details aren't there unless I think about 'em or something reminds me.
> It's - it's there but not *there*.  

Weird. What about stuff from your mortal life?

> But yeah - kinda like when you asked about your mom. Not that I totally
> forgot, just couldn't remember right away.  

Well, you are older than dirt. Maybe your brain just got full.

> And - and I remember Jenny, and Giles... those two are pretty clear,
> actually.  Going after Buffy, I remember that.  Can remember the rest if
> - well, I can.

Lost me there, luv. Which rest? If what? Oh, and Red says you killed her
goldfish. Just curious, what was the thought process there? A little
vampire sushi?

> Other times? Dunno. Dunno what I forget until somebody reminds me of it.

Same as anybody else, I suppose.

> > Kind of. Occasionally. Left her a lot. Oh, and tried to stake her and
> > stuff, but she was wearing the Gem of Amara at the time. Why the hell
> > did you smash that, anyway? Would have come in bloody useful, right
> > about now. 
> 
> Got better things to do than protect a ring.

Hello, the ring protects you. Walk in the sunshine. Survive the sinister
splinter. Deck yourself in rosaries, if you feel like it. Besides, it was
my ring until Buffy took it and sent it to you. You don't want it, give it
the fuck back. Or put it in a bloody safe somewhere in Switzerland. But
never break a magic item. It's like destroying a prophecy -- you don't
know when you'll need it. Oh well. Too late now.

> > Anyway, Harm was an idiot, but she was a decent lay 
> 
> Christ.

Yeah, I know. Not my proudest moment.

> Doyle had a vision. Said Buffy was in trouble. 

Fair enough. She was. And not sure what the right thing to do was. Did you
deal with it? 'Cause if so, I owe you. Again.

> Can see asking Joyce going a lot of painful nowhere fast if Buffy found
> out about it.

In those days, yeah.

> > > Wait - Xander was in Giles's basement?  
> > 
> > No, Xander lives in his parents basement. 
> 
> Really? That's a shame.

Sometimes the sympathy and caring just shines out of you, luv. It's a
beautiful thing.

> Hell.  Pretty much what you'd expect.  Less parking.

Good to know. Run into anybody good? Hitler, Gengis Khan, Richard Simmons?

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> See? I may achieve wisdom yet. Or at least enough sense to come in out
> of the rain. 

And then the world *does* end.

> > > But sure as fuck wasn't going to comment, now that I'm doing the
> > > soppy stuff myself. 
> > 
> > Two of us. Sappy together.  The world now ends.
> 
> Not again...

Well it is Thursday.

> Weird. What about stuff from your mortal life?

I can remember that ok if I want to. Kinda pointless though.

> > But yeah - kinda like when you asked about your mom. Not that I
> > totally forgot, just couldn't remember right away.  
> 
> Well, you are older than dirt. Maybe your brain just got full.

Again two words that do not go together: "Spike" and "coming"

> > And - and I remember Jenny, and Giles... those two are pretty clear,
> > actually.  Going after Buffy, I remember that.  Can remember the rest
> > if - well, I can.
> 
> Lost me there, luv. Which rest? 

Rest of what I did then.

> If what?

I think about it.

> Oh, and Red says you killed her goldfish. Just curious, what was the
> thought process there? A little vampire sushi? 

Creep her out. Let her and Buffy know I was watching and had no 
problems taking my time to get at them bit by bit.

> > Got better things to do than protect a ring.
> 
> Hello, the ring protects you. 

Yeah, 'cept for those people who come after you to get at it. Hello 
Marcus, you and the day of torturing *me* which, by the by, I *do* 
remember.  Yeah, I know - didn't have the ring on. But I killed Marcus
good enough even when he was wearing it.  Isn't *that* invulnerable.

Don't wanna spend my life being a gun slinger.  And I don't wanna be some
invulnerable guy who doesn't need to give a shit about the people who
aren't invulnerable.

> Walk in the sunshine. Survive the sinister splinter. Deck yourself in
> rosaries, if you feel like it. Besides, it was my ring until Buffy took
> it and sent it to you. You don't want it, give it the fuck back.

But I didn't *like* you then, sunshine.  Again I'm really gonna have to
stick to this point of you trying to kill me when that all went down.

> Or put it in a bloody safe somewhere in Switzerland. But never break a
> magic item. It's like destroying a prophecy -- you don't know when
> you'll need it. Oh well. Too late now. 

Got enough prophecies. And got enough to worry about without needing to
keep some ring out of the wrong hands.  It's gone. I got one less thing to
worry about.  Makes me happy.

> > Christ.
> 
> Yeah, I know. Not my proudest moment.

Just don't tell people we're related when you pass this information along
to others, kay?

> > Doyle had a vision. Said Buffy was in trouble. 
> 
> Fair enough. She was. And not sure what the right thing to do was. Did
> you deal with it? 'Cause if so, I owe you. Again. 

Yeah. Helped out.

> > Really? That's a shame.
> 
> Sometimes the sympathy and caring just shines out of you, luv. It's a
> beautiful thing. 

I'm a beautiful kind of guy.

> > Hell.  Pretty much what you'd expect.  Less parking.
> 
> Good to know. Run into anybody good? Hitler, Gengis Khan, Richard
> Simmons? 

Nah.

A.

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> > Well that's alright then. We'll be mad together.
> 
> Something else I never thought I'd have in common with you.

Never thought you'd have anything in common with me, did you?

> > I suppose. And the bloody curse breaking didn't do him any favors
> > there -- sets it up so seeking happiness is dangerous and selfish.
> 
> Precisely.  Particularly when men like Rupert breathing down his neck on
> the odd chance that Angel forgets himself for a single bloody moment and
> cracks something halfway like unto a smile.

Honestly can't tell if Giles is just bein' conscientious, or if this is
his style of revenge. 

> > Yeah. But you know, I'm learnin' it doesn't have to be that way.
> > Kickin' the shit out of demons is fun. Havin' people to talk to again
> > is fun. Taking care of Buffy is fun. You and Angel are a hell of a lot
> > of fun. Not sayin' I don't miss -- a lot of things. But it's not all
> > pits and no cherries in the good guys camp after all.
> 
> You see? I shall be a bad influence upon you yet.

I hope so, pet. I like bad influences. And you're a remarkably persuasive
man.

> The idea is appreciated but crypts are remarkably cold - as I'm sure
> you've noticed.

It's true. And I do miss plumbing. But you can't beat the look -- or the
rent.

> No.  The only place I would consider moving to right now... Well the
> landlord wouldn't agree to it.

Why not? I mean, we are talking about Angel here, right? Doesn't he have
an entire empty hotel goin' begging? And you can't tell me there's
anything he'd like better than to wake up to you every day.

> > > For a vampire that sounds ideal.
> > 
> > In a lot of ways it was. If I had a regret -- besides leaving him
> > alone to face the damned curse -- it was nothing to do with his
> > particular style of entertainment. It was that I could never really do
> > anything for him -- never really matter. Self-sufficient bugger never
> > needed anyone but Darla, and I'm not even sure about that.
> 
> I... I wasn't there for most of his interactions with Darla but for what
> it's worth... As obsessed as he was with her, I did get the feeling as
> though there wasn't a connection.  That from Darla's side of it she just
> did not get through to him.  He abandoned everything for her, yes,
> but... there was still a wall of sorts, emotionally.  And as much as I'd
> like to say credit for that goes entirely to his possession of a soul, I
> somehow got the impression that for Darla this wasn't new.

Sounds like her. But then, in the old days, that's the only kind of person
Angelus ever would have let himself need. Me an' Dru, we're too hot
blooded. Metaphorically speaking, of course. We needed him, we loved him,
we let it show too much. he was ... amused by that. When he wasn't
contemptous of it. But he certainly never would have considered us equals.
Well, I didn't mind that. We weren't. But I wanted to give him *something*
he'd value -- only I never found out what that might be.

> > Well considering mum had him for supper, that's just as well. I was
> > rather hoping for someone you'd disliked.
> 
> Oh no.  Sorry.  Neither liked nor disliked. Simply knew of.

That works too. Just didn't want to be a cause of grief to you, even
indirectly.

> > Was it during exams? She always liked that aftertaste of fatigue and
> > anxiety. And at least the poor bastards never had to see their marks. 
> 
> It was.  Which was part of the reason why I wasn't paying too much
> attention to it. Ironically.

That helps too. Less hue and cry when they disappear. Chalked up to
suicide from stress, often as not.

> > Any time. Can't have my mum snacking on my friends. Socially awkward
> > doesn't begin to describe it.
> 
> I am insane. I'm truly growing to like you.

Pleased as I am to hear it, pet, if all that's required is that I not let
my family eat you up, I'm thinking your standards are a mite low.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> Never thought you'd have anything in common with me, did you? 

Well there's our shared nationality and stunning dress sense.

> > Precisely.  Particularly when men like Rupert breathing down his neck
> > on the odd chance that Angel forgets himself for a single bloody
> > moment and cracks something halfway like unto a smile.
> 
> Honestly can't tell if Giles is just bein' conscientious, or if this is
> his style of revenge. 

I honestly don't know either.  I just wish Angel wouldn't let it affect
him so.

> > You see? I shall be a bad influence upon you yet.
> 
> I hope so, pet. I like bad influences. And you're a remarkably
> persuasive man. 

I do what I can.

> > The idea is appreciated but crypts are remarkably cold - as I'm sure
> > you've noticed.
> 
> It's true. And I do miss plumbing. But you can't beat the look -- or the
> rent. 

Or the size.  Your home now is larger than some flats I've lived in.

> > No.  The only place I would consider moving to right now... Well the
> > landlord wouldn't agree to it.
> 
> Why not? I mean, we are talking about Angel here, right?  Doesn't he
> have an entire empty hotel goin' begging? And you can't tell me there's
> anything he'd like better than to wake up to you every day. 

He does - have the space, I mean.  But he doesn't want me moving into it. 
Doesn't even want the offices back in it, even though when he originally
aquired the place that was part of the purpose. I think it's damned
stupid.  He and I spend practically every night at either his place or
mine.  Might as well cut the commute and the cost of rent.  It isn't as
though I couldn't live on an entirely separate floor from him if he wanted
his privacy.

But no.  And it seems even a touchy thing to even ask of him.  He 
becomes even *more* stoic whenever the topic is raised. Much to 
Cordy's frustration as she rather enjoyed the space she had in the hotel
office (and the shorter travel time to work).

> Sounds like her. But then, in the old days, that's the only kind of
> person Angelus ever would have let himself need. Me an' Dru, we're too
> hot blooded. Metaphorically speaking, of course. We needed him, we loved
> him, we let it show too much. he was ... amused by that. When he wasn't
> contemptous of it. But he certainly never would have considered us
> equals. Well, I didn't mind that. We weren't. But I wanted to give him
> *something* he'd value -- only I never found out what that might be. 

I can't imagine Angelus would have allowed himself to value much, 
particularly in another person. It would have been a weakness - 
something someone else could exploit out of him.

Or perhaps he didn't even have the heart to care.

> > It was.  Which was part of the reason why I wasn't paying too much
> > attention to it. Ironically.
> 
> That helps too. Less hue and cry when they disappear. Chalked up to
> suicide from stress, often as not. 

I believe the official report placed the finger of blame on Spanish
tourists.

> > > Any time. Can't have my mum snacking on my friends. Socially awkward
> > > doesn't begin to describe it.
> > 
> > I am insane. I'm truly growing to like you.
> 
> Pleased as I am to hear it, pet, if all that's required is that I not
> let my family eat you up, I'm thinking your standards are a mite low. 

I believe I'm allowed at least a certain level of appreciation for anyone
who doesn't attempt to kill or maim me.

But I was actually referring to your sense of humor, prat.

Wesley

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> > Never thought you'd have anything in common with me, did you? 
> 
> Well there's our shared nationality and stunning dress sense.

Very true.

> > Honestly can't tell if Giles is just bein' conscientious, or if this
> > is his style of revenge. 
> 
> I honestly don't know either.  I just wish Angel wouldn't let it affect
> him so.

He remembers torturing the man. Not to mention killing his girlfriend and
dumping her corpse in his bed at the end of a trail of roses. And Giles
accepted him back anyway. Makes it hard to dismiss the man's opinion. But
personally, I think all this civilization is a sad mistake. *Both* of them
would be a good deal better off if Giles just went for Angel and beat him
the fuck up, instead of trying to pretend it doesn't matter.

> > > You see? I shall be a bad influence upon you yet.
> > 
> > I hope so, pet. I like bad influences. And you're a remarkably
> > persuasive man. 
> 
> I do what I can.

And you do it so well.

> Or the size.  Your home now is larger than some flats I've lived in.

Odd, isn't it? The original resident must have been a meglomaniac. Or
planning on having a lot of posthumous parties.

> > > No.  The only place I would consider moving to right now... Well the
> > > landlord wouldn't agree to it.
> > 
> > Why not? I mean, we are talking about Angel here, right?  Doesn't he
> > have an entire empty hotel goin' begging? And you can't tell me
> > there's anything he'd like better than to wake up to you every day. 
> 
> He does - have the space, I mean.  But he doesn't want me moving into
> it.  Doesn't even want the offices back in it, even though when he
> originally aquired the place that was part of the purpose. I think it's
> damned stupid.  He and I spend practically every night at either his
> place or mine.  Might as well cut the commute and the cost of rent.  It
> isn't as though I couldn't live on an entirely separate floor from him
> if he wanted his privacy.
> 
> But no.  And it seems even a touchy thing to even ask of him.  He 
> becomes even *more* stoic whenever the topic is raised. Much to 
> Cordy's frustration as she rather enjoyed the space she had in the hotel
> office (and the shorter travel time to work).

And he didn't give a reason? Fuck, what an ass he's being. Doesn't he know
he's hurting you?

> I can't imagine Angelus would have allowed himself to value much, 
> particularly in another person. It would have been a weakness - 
> something someone else could exploit out of him.

I know. But he didn't have to value me. Just -- anything. Any service I
could do. Any present I could bring him. I don't mind being a tool, I just
want to be a well used one.

> Or perhaps he didn't even have the heart to care.

There's that. Or maybe I just wasn't good enough. Bad enough. You know
what I mean.

> I believe the official report placed the finger of blame on Spanish
> tourists.

Mum will get a kick out of that. 

> > > > Any time. Can't have my mum snacking on my friends. Socially
> > > > awkward doesn't begin to describe it.
> > > 
> > > I am insane. I'm truly growing to like you.
> > 
> > Pleased as I am to hear it, pet, if all that's required is that I not
> > let my family eat you up, I'm thinking your standards are a mite low. 
> 
> I believe I'm allowed at least a certain level of appreciation for
> anyone who doesn't attempt to kill or maim me.
> 
> But I was actually referring to your sense of humor, prat.

Oh! Well that's different, of course. No one can resist my devastating
charm of manner.

And I like you too, pet, if I hadn't made that clear. No one's called me a
prat in years. Rather refreshing, really.

-- Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> > I honestly don't know either.  I just wish Angel wouldn't let it
> > affect him so.
> 
> He remembers torturing the man. Not to mention killing his girlfriend
> and dumping her corpse in his bed at the end of a trail of roses. And
> Giles accepted him back anyway. Makes it hard to dismiss the man's
> opinion. 

I know. And there is Giles's relationship with Buffy which of course goes
far towards Angel's opinion of him.

> But personally, I think all this civilization is a sad mistake. *Both*
> of them would be a good deal better off if Giles just went for Angel and
> beat him the fuck up, instead of trying to pretend it doesn't matter. 

Quite true.  Too bad Buffy wouldn't allow it.  Or Angel, for that matter. 
I think he'd only do it if Giles had a chance at a fair fight.

> > Or the size.  Your home now is larger than some flats I've lived in.
> 
> Odd, isn't it? The original resident must have been a meglomaniac. Or
> planning on having a lot of posthumous parties. 

Or perhaps he was Catholic.

> And he didn't give a reason? Fuck, what an ass he's being. Doesn't he
> know he's hurting you? 

It doesn't hurt me, Spike.  I know Angel. I know some things are too
difficult for him, particularly with regards to mortal relationships.  I
regret that I can't be with him but there we are.

> > I can't imagine Angelus would have allowed himself to value much,
> > particularly in another person. It would have been a weakness -
> > something someone else could exploit out of him.
> 
> I know. But he didn't have to value me. Just -- anything. Any service I
> could do. Any present I could bring him. I don't mind being a tool, I
> just want to be a well used one. 

But even still, this requires needing the tool.

> > Or perhaps he didn't even have the heart to care.
> 
> There's that. Or maybe I just wasn't good enough. Bad enough. You know
> what I mean. 

To all reports you were plenty bad enough.

> > I believe the official report placed the finger of blame on Spanish
> > tourists.
> 
> Mum will get a kick out of that. 

A ring of pickpocketers gone horribly grusome, if I'm recalling correctly.

> Oh! Well that's different, of course. No one can resist my devastating
> charm of manner. 

Apparently.

> And I like you too, pet, if I hadn't made that clear. No one's called me
> a prat in years. Rather refreshing, really. 

I'll be certain to do it often.

Wesley

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> > See? I may achieve wisdom yet. Or at least enough sense to come in out
> > of the rain. 
> 
> And then the world *does* end.

Nah. Not till I have sense enough not to go out in it in the first place.

> > > > But sure as fuck wasn't going to comment, now that I'm doing the
> > > > soppy stuff myself. 
> > > 
> > > Two of us. Sappy together.  The world now ends.
> > 
> > Not again...
> 
> Well it is Thursday.

True. You get the crossbow, I'll get the book of obscure incantations?
Think we left it by the door after the last apocalypse but one.

> > Well, you are older than dirt. Maybe your brain just got full.
> 
> Again two words that do not go together: "Spike" and "coming"

Sorry, Angel. I grovel. I abase myself. I beg for mercy.

> Rest of what I did then. 
> I think about it.

Okay. Sore spot? I'm sorry. I can see that. Hell, probably not such a good
time. But you're back. And Buffy's okay now. Everybody is okay now. Red
even has new pets.

> Creep her out. Let her and Buffy know I was watching and had no 
> problems taking my time to get at them bit by bit.

Starting with her friends' fish. While the rest of us were busy trying to
take over the world wholesale. Sometimes the patience thing is a bit
creepy, luv, even for your fellow creatures of night. 

Damned if I ever got what you were so mad at her for in the first place.
She loved you, right? Enough so she couldn't kill you even when you
weren't you anymore. Doesn't seem so bad to me. Never did, really, but you
got so testy when I mentioned it, and its not like I cared one way or the
other, in those days.

> Yeah, 'cept for those people who come after you to get at it. Hello
> Marcus, you and the day of torturing *me* which, by the by, I *do*
> remember.  Yeah, I know - didn't have the ring on. But I killed Marcus
> good enough even when he was wearing it.  Isn't *that* invulnerable.

Point. And yeah, figured you did. Kinda surprised that didn't come up in
the whole "So, *you* got any grudges againt *me*?" conversation. You could
take it as a compliment. I got you the best.

> Don't wanna spend my life being a gun slinger.  And I don't wanna be
> some invulnerable guy who doesn't need to give a shit about the people
> who aren't invulnerable.

I get the first part. The second part -- doesn't follow, luv. You already
don't need to give a shit about the people who aren't invulnerable. But
you do anyway. Either you want to, in which case you'd still want to, or
the soul makes you do it, in which case, well, you'd still have it. But
whatever. All done now.

> > Walk in the sunshine. Survive the sinister splinter. Deck yourself in
> > rosaries, if you feel like it. Besides, it was my ring until Buffy
> > took it and sent it to you. You don't want it, give it the fuck back.
> 
> But I didn't *like* you then, sunshine.  Again I'm really gonna have to
> stick to this point of you trying to kill me when that all went down.

Funny thing is, I *did* like you, even then. Wouldn't have stopped me from
killing you. I had a good bloody teacher, remember? The same guy who shows
up a hundred years later pretending to be back and bad ass as ever, only
he's full of it. (Fuck, don't I wish I had believed you that night just
long enough to drain Xander. Just think how peaceful my life would be
today.) And then pretends he doesn't know me. And then takes my fucking
ring. Right, like I'm gonna get props from Angelus for asking nice. At
that point I was all about showing you I could be the vamp you used to be.

> Got enough prophecies. And got enough to worry about without needing to
> keep some ring out of the wrong hands.  It's gone. I got one less thing
> to worry about.  Makes me happy.

Yeah? It really does that -- almost worth it.

> Just don't tell people we're related when you pass this information
> along to others, kay?

Pass this information along to others? Why the fuck would I do that? Buffy
knows. Might tell Wesley. Otherwise, she's stuck in the cute dimension for
good, let the secret go with her.

> Yeah. Helped out.

Then I owe you. Again. We're gettin' into some serious quantities of
scotch here, luv. Are you keepin' the tally or am I?

> > > Really? That's a shame.
> > 
> > Sometimes the sympathy and caring just shines out of you, luv. It's a
> > beautiful thing. 
> 
> I'm a beautiful kind of guy.

Funny thing? Yeah, you are.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> > > See? I may achieve wisdom yet. Or at least enough sense to come in
> > > out of the rain. 
> > 
> > And then the world *does* end.
> 
> Nah. Not till I have sense enough not to go out in it in the first
> place. 

Nice thing about living in LA - doesn't happen much.  Rain I mean.

> > > > Two of us. Sappy together.  The world now ends.
> > > 
> > > Not again...
> > 
> > Well it is Thursday.
> 
> True. You get the crossbow, I'll get the book of obscure incantations?
> Think we left it by the door after the last apocalypse but one. 

I give you *one* thing to keep track of...

> > Again two words that do not go together: "Spike" and "coming"
> 
> Sorry, Angel. I grovel. I abase myself. I beg for mercy.

Yeah. I feel that sincerity.

> > Rest of what I did then. 
> > I think about it.
> 
> Okay. Sore spot? 

What makes you say that?

> > Creep her out. Let her and Buffy know I was watching and had no 
> > problems taking my time to get at them bit by bit.
> 
> Starting with her friends' fish. While the rest of us were busy trying
> to take over the world wholesale. Sometimes the patience thing is a bit
> creepy, luv, even for your fellow creatures of night. 

Got all the time in the world. Why not use it?

> Damned if I ever got what you were so mad at her for in the first
> place. 

I did it because I could.

> She loved you, right?

Not Angelus.

>  Enough so she couldn't kill you even when
> you weren't you anymore.

Didn't see that. Saw Angel. Figured she could save him.

> Doesn't seem so bad to me. 

Try it sometime.

> > Yeah, 'cept for those people who come after you to get at it. Hello
> > Marcus, you and the day of torturing *me* which, by the by, I *do*
> > remember.  Yeah, I know - didn't have the ring on. But I killed Marcus
> > good enough even when he was wearing it.  Isn't *that* invulnerable.
> 
> Point. And yeah, figured you did. 

Yep.

> Kinda surprised that didn't come up
> in the whole "So, *you* got any grudges againt *me*?" conversation.

Kinda melds into the whole of every shitty thing you ever did. Got better
things to worry about.  Wouldn't suggest you doing it *again* though, boy.

> You
> could take it as a compliment. I got you the best. 

Only because you never remembered how to do it yourself.

And he was ok.  

> > But I didn't *like* you then, sunshine.  Again I'm really gonna have
> > to stick to this point of you trying to kill me when that all went
> > down.
> 
> Funny thing is, I *did* like you, even then. Wouldn't have stopped me
> from killing you. I had a good bloody teacher, remember?

Least some things you remember.

> The same guy
> who shows up a hundred years later pretending to be back and bad ass as
> ever, only he's full of it. 

Can't say I'm sorry.

> (Fuck, don't I wish I had believed you that
> night just long enough to drain Xander. Just think how peaceful my life
> would be today.)

Again you and the Xander fixation...

> And then pretends he doesn't know me. And then takes
> my fucking ring. Right, like I'm gonna get props from Angelus for
> asking nice.

That's true. You wouldn't've.  Kinda got that.

> At that point I was all about showing you I could be the
> vamp you used to be. 

It's overrated.

> > Got enough prophecies. And got enough to worry about without needing
> > to keep some ring out of the wrong hands.  It's gone. I got one less
> > thing to worry about.  Makes me happy.
> 
> Yeah? It really does that -- almost worth it.

It does. But you're still seething bitterness. I can tell.

> > Just don't tell people we're related when you pass this information
> > along to others, kay?
> 
> Pass this information along to others? Why the fuck would I do that?

You've done stranger things. Slept with Harmony in the first place, for
instance.

> > Yeah. Helped out.
> 
> Then I owe you. Again. We're gettin' into some serious quantities of
> scotch here, luv. Are you keepin' the tally or am I? 

You know I am.

> > I'm a beautiful kind of guy.
> 
> Funny thing? Yeah, you are.

Back on flattery?

A.

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> Nice thing about living in LA - doesn't happen much.  Rain I mean.

Nice. Although it does cut down on the handy cloud cover.

> > > > > Two of us. Sappy together.  The world now ends.
> > > > 
> > > > Not again...
> > > 
> > > Well it is Thursday.
> > 
> > True. You get the crossbow, I'll get the book of obscure incantations?
> > Think we left it by the door after the last apocalypse but one. 
> 
> I give you *one* thing to keep track of...

[grin] some things never change.

> > > Again two words that do not go together: "Spike" and "coming"
> > 
> > Sorry, Angel. I grovel. I abase myself. I beg for mercy.
> 
> Yeah. I feel that sincerity.

You will.

> > > Rest of what I did then. 
> > > I think about it.
> > 
> > Okay. Sore spot? 
> 
> What makes you say that?

Um. The sudden transition to short terse sentences? Not that you're
usually full of fulsome prose. But still.

> > > Creep her out. Let her and Buffy know I was watching and had no
> > > problems taking my time to get at them bit by bit.
> > 
> > Starting with her friends' fish. While the rest of us were busy trying
> > to take over the world wholesale. Sometimes the patience thing is a
> > bit creepy, luv, even for your fellow creatures of night. 
> 
> Got all the time in the world. Why not use it?

'Cause we were hoping to take over the world by Friday and then go out for
a beer?

> > Damned if I ever got what you were so mad at her for in the first
> > place. 
> 
> I did it because I could.

Fair enough.

> > She loved you, right?
> 
> Not Angelus.

No, I know. But still you for some value of. Did you, did he, want her to
love Angelus? Did he love her?

> >  Enough so she couldn't kill you even when
> > you weren't you anymore.
> 
> Didn't see that. Saw Angel. Figured she could save him.

And she was right.

> > Doesn't seem so bad to me. 

> Try it sometime.

If I could I would. Any part of her. Loving any part of me at all.

> > Kinda surprised that didn't come up
> > in the whole "So, *you* got any grudges againt *me*?" conversation.
> 
> Kinda melds into the whole of every shitty thing you ever did. Got
> better things to worry about.  Wouldn't suggest you doing it *again*
> though, boy.

Never, Angel. Cross my heart.

> > You
> > could take it as a compliment. I got you the best. 
> 
> Only because you never remembered how to do it yourself.

Exactly. I know *I'm* not the best. Back to the patience thing. I just
like the results. You and Marcus take such delight in the bloody process.
He could have gone on like that forever. In the zone, you know?

> And he was ok.  

Yeah, well, the master wasn't available. Not too practical to hire you to
torture you. Although it would have had its Groucho Marx moments.

> > > But I didn't *like* you then, sunshine.  Again I'm really gonna have
> > > to stick to this point of you trying to kill me when that all went
> > > down.
> > 
> > Funny thing is, I *did* like you, even then. Wouldn't have stopped me
> > from killing you. I had a good bloody teacher, remember?
> 
> Least some things you remember.

Seems like I could say the same.

> > The same guy
> > who shows up a hundred years later pretending to be back and bad ass
> > as ever, only he's full of it. 
> 
> Can't say I'm sorry.

Wouldn't want you to, luv. Like you this way, now. Just sayin' where my
head was back in the day.

> > (Fuck, don't I wish I had believed you that
> > night just long enough to drain Xander. Just think how peaceful my
> > life would be today.)
> 
> Again you and the Xander fixation...

I'm scarred for life, I tell you.

> > And then pretends he doesn't know me. And then takes
> > my fucking ring. Right, like I'm gonna get props from Angelus for
> > asking nice.
> 
> That's true. You wouldn't've.  Kinda got that.

'Course, you *weren't* Angelus then. But I didn't know you. Knew him.
Didn't know how to get props from you -- didn't know that I'd want them.

> > At that point I was all about showing you I could be the
> > vamp you used to be. 
> 
> It's overrated.

Yeah? Good. 'Cause I'm not gettin' there any time soon.

> > > Got enough prophecies. And got enough to worry about without needing
> > > to keep some ring out of the wrong hands.  It's gone. I got one less
> > > thing to worry about.  Makes me happy.
> > 
> > Yeah? It really does that -- almost worth it.
> 
> It does. But you're still seething bitterness. I can tell.

Not really. Should be. Tried to be, even. Gem ever gets miraculously
resurrected and sittin' on the table between us, no promises. But as long
as its gone anyway -- you. Happy. Gotten kinda important to me.

> > > Just don't tell people we're related when you pass this information
> > > along to others, kay?
> > 
> > Pass this information along to others? Why the fuck would I do that?
> 
> You've done stranger things. Slept with Harmony in the first place, for
> instance.

Hey, its not *that* strange. She was there. She was okay looking. Dru had
left me for a fungus demon -- I needed some distraction. And it shut her
up pretty good.

> > > Yeah. Helped out.
> > 
> > Then I owe you. Again. We're gettin' into some serious quantities of
> > scotch here, luv. Are you keepin' the tally or am I? 
> 
> You know I am.

Might as well go straight to the distillery and buy a barrel or two. Cut
out the middleman.

> > > I'm a beautiful kind of guy.
> > 
> > Funny thing? Yeah, you are.
> 
> Back on flattery?

Truth, luv.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> > Nice thing about living in LA - doesn't happen much.  Rain I mean.
> 
> Nice. Although it does cut down on the handy cloud cover.

Sewers are ok.  I'll admit it's one thing I liked about England though.
Easy to get around.  Easier, anyway.

> > > True. You get the crossbow, I'll get the book of obscure
> > > incantations? Think we left it by the door after the last apocalypse
> > > but one. 
> > 
> > I give you *one* thing to keep track of...
> 
> [grin] some things never change.

Something to be grateful for.

> > Yeah. I feel that sincerity.
> 
> You will.

Gonna hold you to that.

> > > Okay. Sore spot? 
> > 
> > What makes you say that?
> 
> Um. The sudden transition to short terse sentences? Not that you're
> usually full of fulsome prose. But still. 

You asked I answered.

> > Got all the time in the world. Why not use it?
> 
> 'Cause we were hoping to take over the world by Friday and then go out
> for a beer?

Hurried up when I had to.

> > > She loved you, right?
> > 
> > Not Angelus.
> 
> No, I know. But still you for some value of. Did you, did he, want her
> to love Angelus? Did he love her? 

No and No.

> > Didn't see that. Saw Angel. Figured she could save him.
> 
> And she was right.

She didn't.

> > Kinda melds into the whole of every shitty thing you ever did. Got
> > better things to worry about.  Wouldn't suggest you doing it *again*
> > though, boy.
> 
> Never, Angel. Cross my heart.

Uh huh.

> > Only because you never remembered how to do it yourself.
> 
> Exactly. I know *I'm* not the best. Back to the patience thing. I just
> like the results. You and Marcus take such delight in the bloody
> process. He could have gone on like that forever. In the zone, you know?
> 

Yeah, I know.  Figured that out about four pokers in.

> > And he was ok.  
> 
> Yeah, well, the master wasn't available. Not too practical to hire you
> to torture you. Although it would have had its Groucho Marx moments. 

Me slapping you around is a bit more Three Stooges.  Just need Xander to
be the third stooge.

> > > (Fuck, don't I wish I had believed you that
> > > night just long enough to drain Xander. Just think how peaceful my
> > > life would be today.)
> > 
> > Again you and the Xander fixation...
> 
> I'm scarred for life, I tell you.

Obviously.

> > > At that point I was all about showing you I could be the
> > > vamp you used to be. 
> > 
> > It's overrated.
> 
> Yeah? Good. 'Cause I'm not gettin' there any time soon.

Seriously overrated.

> > It does. But you're still seething bitterness. I can tell.
> 
> Not really. Should be. Tried to be, even. Gem ever gets miraculously
> resurrected and sittin' on the table between us, no promises. But as
> long as its gone anyway -- you. Happy. Gotten kinda important to me. 

Good.  And thanks.

> > You've done stranger things. Slept with Harmony in the first place,
> > for instance.
> 
> Hey, its not *that* strange. She was there. She was okay looking. Dru
> had left me for a fungus demon -- I needed some distraction. And it shut
> her up pretty good. 

Always a bonus.

Um - not gonna mention *that* aspect of this to Cordy, by the way. Just so
you know. Figure it's enough to know Harm became a vampire.

> > > Then I owe you. Again. We're gettin' into some serious quantities of
> > > scotch here, luv. Are you keepin' the tally or am I? 
> > 
> > You know I am.
> 
> Might as well go straight to the distillery and buy a barrel or two. Cut
> out the middleman. 

I've got the room for it.

A.

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> I know. And there is Giles's relationship with Buffy which of course
> goes far towards Angel's opinion of him.

True. And towards mine, for that matter. 

> > But personally, I think all this civilization is a sad mistake. *Both*
> > of them would be a good deal better off if Giles just went for Angel
> > and beat him the fuck up, instead of trying to pretend it doesn't
> > matter. 
> 
> Quite true.  Too bad Buffy wouldn't allow it.  Or Angel, for that
> matter.  I think he'd only do it if Giles had a chance at a fair fight.

Well, Angel could guarantee that. Wear a blindfold. Tie one hand behind
his back. For that matter, Angel could just sit there and take it, if he's
feeling that shitty about it. But I doubt Buffy would allow it anyway. And
I doubt Giles would admit that he wanted it in the first place.

> > > Or the size.  Your home now is larger than some flats I've lived in.
> > 
> > Odd, isn't it? The original resident must have been a meglomaniac. Or
> > planning on having a lot of posthumous parties. 
> 
> Or perhaps he was Catholic.

Do they need bigger crypts? I can't say I'm up on the distinctions between
Christians. Its all just burning agony to me.

> It doesn't hurt me, Spike.  I know Angel. I know some things are too
> difficult for him, particularly with regards to mortal relationships.  I
> regret that I can't be with him but there we are.

You're being noble. But you shouldn't have to. It's his bloody job to see
to that.

> > I know. But he didn't have to value me. Just -- anything. Any service
> > I could do. Any present I could bring him. I don't mind being a tool,
> > I just want to be a well used one. 
> 
> But even still, this requires needing the tool.

Technically, yes. But not in any unique way. I need a pencil, it breaks, I
get another. 

> > > Or perhaps he didn't even have the heart to care.
> > 
> > There's that. Or maybe I just wasn't good enough. Bad enough. You know
> > what I mean. 
> 
> To all reports you were plenty bad enough.

Thanks, pet. You're sweet to say that. But not bad enough for him,
obviously.

> > Oh! Well that's different, of course. No one can resist my devastating
> > charm of manner. 
> 
> Apparently.

Well, except Buffy. And the Scoobies. And Angelus. And Darla. And... you
know, I think I might have to amend my earlier statement slightly. Once
again you are part of a rare and unusually perceptive breed.

> > And I like you too, pet, if I hadn't made that clear. No one's called
> > me a prat in years. Rather refreshing, really. 
> 
> I'll be certain to do it often.

[grin] Told you I'd like almost anything you called me.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> > Quite true.  Too bad Buffy wouldn't allow it.  Or Angel, for that
> > matter.  I think he'd only do it if Giles had a chance at a fair
> > fight.
> 
> Well, Angel could guarantee that. Wear a blindfold. Tie one hand behind
> his back. For that matter, Angel could just sit there and take it, if
> he's feeling that shitty about it. But I doubt Buffy would allow it
> anyway. And I doubt Giles would admit that he wanted it in the first
> place. 

I doubt Angel would admit that if he didn't have to he probably wouldn't
care for Rupert overmuch one way or another.

> > Or perhaps he was Catholic.
> 
> Do they need bigger crypts? I can't say I'm up on the distinctions
> between Christians. Its all just burning agony to me. 

They tend to have larger familes due to the belief that birth control of
any kind is a sin.  Hence the need for a larger crypt.

> > It doesn't hurt me, Spike.  I know Angel. I know some things are too
> > difficult for him, particularly with regards to mortal relationships. 
> > I regret that I can't be with him but there we are.
> 
> You're being noble. But you shouldn't have to. It's his bloody job to
> see to that.

Really, it's fine.

> > But even still, this requires needing the tool.
> 
> Technically, yes. But not in any unique way. I need a pencil, it
> breaks, I get another. 

True, but I daresay you are at least slightly more sentient than a pencil.
 And anyone can need a pencil without worrying about it overmuch.  Needing
another sentient being, however, is a different matter.

> > To all reports you were plenty bad enough.
> 
> Thanks, pet. You're sweet to say that. But not bad enough for him,
> obviously. 

To be fair to all reports he was worse.  I guess as far as vampires go he
was setting the standards rather high.

> > > Oh! Well that's different, of course. No one can resist my
> > > devastating charm of manner. 
> > 
> > Apparently.
> 
> Well, except Buffy. And the Scoobies. And Angelus. And Darla. And... you
> know, I think I might have to amend my earlier statement slightly. Once
> again you are part of a rare and unusually perceptive breed. 

Rare, unusually perceptive, and completely mental.

> > I'll be certain to do it often.
> 
> [grin] Told you I'd like almost anything you called me.

Susan?

Wesley

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> I doubt Angel would admit that if he didn't have to he probably wouldn't
> care for Rupert overmuch one way or another.

Why not? Makes perfect sense to me. For that matter, I'd suppose its a
mutual apathy.

> They tend to have larger familes due to the belief that birth control of
> any kind is a sin.  Hence the need for a larger crypt.

Oh, I see. Now that's planning ahead.

> > > It doesn't hurt me, Spike.  I know Angel. I know some things are too
> > > difficult for him, particularly with regards to mortal
> > > relationships.  I regret that I can't be with him but there we are.
> > 
> > You're being noble. But you shouldn't have to. It's his bloody job to
> > see to that.
> 
> Really, it's fine.

Alright. Don't worry, I'm not gonna yell at him or anything. I know better
than that. It wouldn't help. Just gonna go on quietly thinking he's an
idiot. But I was gonna do that anyway.

> True, but I daresay you are at least slightly more sentient than a
> pencil.  And anyone can need a pencil without worrying about it
> overmuch.  Needing another sentient being, however, is a different
> matter.

More sentient than a pencil. There were days when he'd dispute that. Hell,
there are days when I would.

But -- yeah, I guess. I dunno. When I had minions, they were all pretty
interchangable. Dumb as a brick, and far too enthusiastic. I needed
*somebody* to fetch and carry, didn't much care who.

> > > To all reports you were plenty bad enough.
> > 
> > Thanks, pet. You're sweet to say that. But not bad enough for him,
> > obviously. 
> 
> To be fair to all reports he was worse.  I guess as far as vampires go
> he was setting the standards rather high.

Yeah, there was that. Never gonna get there now. Probably never was gonna
get there, even before the chip. I can be nasty, but I can't be cold. But
he -- or what's left of him -- seems to have forgiven me for it.

> Rare, unusually perceptive, and completely mental.

That too. Come to think of it, sounds like my favorite kind of person. But
I hope you're not *completely* mental just yet, pet. 'Cause I was hoping
to drive you crazy with lust. Not quite as much fun if you're already
there.

> > > I'll be certain to do it often.
> > 
> > [grin] Told you I'd like almost anything you called me.
> 
> Susan?

That would be the almost bit.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> > I doubt Angel would admit that if he didn't have to he probably
> > wouldn't care for Rupert overmuch one way or another.
> 
> Why not? Makes perfect sense to me.

Yes, but this is Angel's sense of honor we're talking about, which would
have him cheerfully swallow a Holy Water cocktail if he felt it was the
"right thing".  Given how Rupert watches - no pun intended - over Buffy
and given how much Angel hurt him, I suspect Angel feels he hasn't the
right to think negatively towards the man.

> > They tend to have larger familes due to the belief that birth control
> > of any kind is a sin.  Hence the need for a larger crypt.
> 
> Oh, I see. Now that's planning ahead.

How so?

> Alright. Don't worry, I'm not gonna yell at him or anything. I know
> better than that. It wouldn't help. Just gonna go on quietly thinking
> he's an idiot. But I was gonna do that anyway. 

He has his reasons. I respect that.

> But -- yeah, I guess. I dunno. When I had minions, they were all pretty
> interchangable. Dumb as a brick, and far too enthusiastic. I needed
> *somebody* to fetch and carry, didn't much care who. 

Perhaps that's the key?  Perhaps you were good - bad - you know - 
enough that he had to make the active choice *not* to encourage you?  If
you were truly "dumb as a brick" perhaps he wouldn't have cared?

> > Rare, unusually perceptive, and completely mental.
> 
> That too. Come to think of it, sounds like my favorite kind of person.
> But I hope you're not *completely* mental just yet, pet. 'Cause I was
> hoping to drive you crazy with lust. Not quite as much fun if you're
> already there. 

Mental enough to agree to all of this and to miss your company.  Lucky for
you.

> > > [grin] Told you I'd like almost anything you called me.
> > 
> > Susan?
> 
> That would be the almost bit.

I'm glad we have our boundaries.

Wesley

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> Sewers are ok.  I'll admit it's one thing I liked about England though.
> Easy to get around.  Easier, anyway.

Yeah, I can see that. Must be nice to have that serious sewer system. I
mostly manage by runnin' about with a sodding blanket over my head.
Doesn't rate high on the dignity scale.

> > > > True. You get the crossbow, I'll get the book of obscure
> > > > incantations? Think we left it by the door after the last
> > > > apocalypse but one. 
> > > 
> > > I give you *one* thing to keep track of...
> > 
> > [grin] some things never change.
> 
> Something to be grateful for.

Yeah. I am.

> > > Yeah. I feel that sincerity.
> > 
> > You will.
> 
> Gonna hold you to that.

I know. That was the general idea. Hope, even.

> > > > Okay. Sore spot? 
> > > 
> > > What makes you say that?
> > 
> > Um. The sudden transition to short terse sentences? Not that you're
> > usually full of fulsome prose. But still. 
> 
> You asked I answered.

Yes.

> > > Got all the time in the world. Why not use it?
> > 
> > 'Cause we were hoping to take over the world by Friday and then go out
> > for a beer?
> 
> Hurried up when I had to.

Point.

> > > > She loved you, right?
> > > 
> > > Not Angelus.
> > 
> > No, I know. But still you for some value of. Did you, did he, want her
> > to love Angelus? Did he love her? 
> 
> No and No.

Well then why bother? Did you hate her?

> > > Didn't see that. Saw Angel. Figured she could save him.
> > 
> > And she was right.
> 
> She didn't.

No. Red did. She told me. But -- Red did it for her. Never would have done
it for you. Half dead in a hospital bed already. Could have died for good
if the spell went wrong. So I'd say it counts. And yeah, I know, you still
went to hell. She sent you there. But she sent you there *you*. And you
came back you. And she stopped the bad mojo you'd have had on your poor
overworked conscience otherwise. Sounds like saved to me.

> > > Kinda melds into the whole of every shitty thing you ever did. Got
> > > better things to worry about.  Wouldn't suggest you doing it *again*
> > > though, boy.
> > 
> > Never, Angel. Cross my heart.
> 
> Uh huh.

I mean it, luv. Figure I've hurt you enough.

> > > Only because you never remembered how to do it yourself.
> > 
> > Exactly. I know *I'm* not the best. Back to the patience thing. I just
> > like the results. You and Marcus take such delight in the bloody
> > process. He could have gone on like that forever. In the zone, you
> > know? 
> 
> Yeah, I know.  Figured that out about four pokers in.

Thought you might recognize it.

> > > And he was ok.  
> > 
> > Yeah, well, the master wasn't available. Not too practical to hire you
> > to torture you. Although it would have had its Groucho Marx moments. 
> 
> Me slapping you around is a bit more Three Stooges.  Just need Xander to
> be the third stooge.

Now you're doing it. You wanna slap me around, you know I'm there. You
wanna slap Xander around, be my fucking guest. But leave me out of it.

> > > > At that point I was all about showing you I could be the
> > > > vamp you used to be. 
> > > 
> > > It's overrated.
> > 
> > Yeah? Good. 'Cause I'm not gettin' there any time soon.
> 
> Seriously overrated.

You seemed to like it okay at the time.

> > > It does. But you're still seething bitterness. I can tell.
> > 
> > Not really. Should be. Tried to be, even. Gem ever gets miraculously
> > resurrected and sittin' on the table between us, no promises. But as
> > long as its gone anyway -- you. Happy. Gotten kinda important to me. 
> 
> Good.  And thanks.

Welcome. 

> > Hey, its not *that* strange. She was there. She was okay looking. Dru
> > had left me for a fungus demon -- I needed some distraction. And it
> > shut her up pretty good. 
> 
> Always a bonus.

You said it.

> Um - not gonna mention *that* aspect of this to Cordy, by the way. Just
> so you know. Figure it's enough to know Harm became a vampire.

Fine. Better than fine. Bloody marvelous. Don't imagine Cordy's too
pleased with me as it is.

> > > > Then I owe you. Again. We're gettin' into some serious quantities
> > > > of scotch here, luv. Are you keepin' the tally or am I? 
> > > 
> > > You know I am.
> > 
> > Might as well go straight to the distillery and buy a barrel or two.
> > Cut out the middleman. 
> 
> I've got the room for it.

This is true. What are you planning to do with all that space, anyway?
Start a bed 'n' blood?

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> Yeah, I can see that. Must be nice to have that serious sewer system. I
> mostly manage by runnin' about with a sodding blanket over my head.
> Doesn't rate high on the dignity scale. 

Yeah. Have to do that sometimes if we're driving anywhere during the day.
Can't say I'm too fond.

> Well then why bother?

She was coming after me anyway.

> Did you hate her?

No. Not like that.

> No. Red did. 

Dunno if I'd count that as "saved".

> > Me slapping you around is a bit more Three Stooges.  Just need Xander
> > to be the third stooge.
> 
> Now you're doing it. You wanna slap me around, you know I'm there. You
> wanna slap Xander around, be my fucking guest. But leave me out of it. 

You wouldn't want to watch?

> > Seriously overrated.
> 
> You seemed to like it okay at the time.

Got over it.

> This is true. What are you planning to do with all that space, anyway?
> Start a bed 'n' blood? 

I'm thinking roller disco.

A.

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> Yeah. Have to do that sometimes if we're driving anywhere during the
> day. Can't say I'm too fond.

There's got to be a better way. Can't say its leaping to mind, however.

> > Well then why bother?
> 
> She was coming after me anyway.

Not so much, no. If you'd had the sense to get the hell out of town and
leave me and Dru in peace, I really doubt she'd have gone hunting you.
Hell, you kept sending her challenges and she *still* couldn't do it till
you killed the teacher. Maybe not even then.

> > Did you hate her?
> 
> No. Not like that.

Okay. I give up. I don't think I'm ever gonna understand this one. Didn't
love her. Didn't hate her. Then why *bother*? You were never obsessed with
Slayers like I was, and even I just wanted a nice clean smash up and a
lovely snack for afters, not a bloody opera.

> > No. Red did. 
> 
> Dunno if I'd count that as "saved".

What would you count, then? They did the best they could, what with you
tryin' to get that Acathla bugger to open his big mouth an' all.

> > > Me slapping you around is a bit more Three Stooges.  Just need
> > > Xander to be the third stooge.
> > 
> > Now you're doing it. You wanna slap me around, you know I'm there. You
> > wanna slap Xander around, be my fucking guest. But leave me out of it.
> > 
> 
> You wouldn't want to watch?

Nah. Would if you told me to, of course, 'cause, well, yeah. I do that.
But as far as fun goes, I doubt that fucking conscience would let you do
it nearly hard enough. And I'd be so damned frustrated at not bein' able
to join in I couldn't enjoy it even if you did.

> > > Seriously overrated.
> > 
> > You seemed to like it okay at the time.
> 
> Got over it.

Yeah. I get that.

> > This is true. What are you planning to do with all that space, anyway?
> > Start a bed 'n' blood? 
> 
> I'm thinking roller disco.

B'wah hah hah hah!

You are a sad, sick man, my friend. No wonder I like you so much. Now all
you need is a glittery leisure suit to be the master of ceremonies.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> > Yeah. Have to do that sometimes if we're driving anywhere during the
> > day. Can't say I'm too fond.
> 
> There's got to be a better way. Can't say its leaping to mind, however.

Yeah. Unfortunately.

> > She was coming after me anyway.
> 
> Not so much, no. If you'd had the sense to get the hell out of town and
> leave me and Dru in peace, I really doubt she'd have gone hunting you.
> Hell, you kept sending her challenges and she *still* couldn't do it
> till you killed the teacher. Maybe not even then. 

Principle of the thing.

> Okay. I give up. I don't think I'm ever gonna understand this one.
> Didn't love her. Didn't hate her. Then why *bother*? You were never
> obsessed with Slayers like I was, and even I just wanted a nice clean
> smash up and a lovely snack for afters, not a bloody opera. 

She got to Angel.  

> > Dunno if I'd count that as "saved".
> 
> What would you count, then? They did the best they could, what with you
> tryin' to get that Acathla bugger to open his big mouth an' all. 

Not blaming 'em.  Did what they had to. I get that.

> > You wouldn't want to watch?
> 
> Nah. Would if you told me to, of course, 'cause, well, yeah. I do that.
> But as far as fun goes, I doubt that fucking conscience would let you do
> it nearly hard enough. And I'd be so damned frustrated at not bein' able
> to join in I couldn't enjoy it even if you did. 

This is heading into a very scary mental place.

> > I'm thinking roller disco.
> 
> B'wah hah hah hah!
> 
> You are a sad, sick man, my friend. No wonder I like you so much. Now
> all you need is a glittery leisure suit to be the master of ceremonies. 

Could ask the Host where he shops.

A.

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> > > I doubt Angel would admit that if he didn't have to he probably
> > > wouldn't care for Rupert overmuch one way or another.
> > 
> > Why not? Makes perfect sense to me.
> 
> Yes, but this is Angel's sense of honor we're talking about, which would
> have him cheerfully swallow a Holy Water cocktail if he felt it was the
> "right thing". 

Ow, ow, and furthermore, bloody ow. I like a bit of pain as much as the
next man. Probably more. Adds a little spice, you know? But that's just
*wrong*.

 Given how Rupert watches - no pun intended - over Buffy 
> and given how much Angel hurt him, I suspect Angel feels he hasn't the
> right to think negatively towards the man.

He probably does, because he's a stupid sod. He's got the right to think
whatever he damned well likes. He may not have the right to act negatively
towards the man, but that's where it bleedin' stops.

> > > They tend to have larger familes due to the belief that birth
> > > control of any kind is a sin.  Hence the need for a larger crypt.
> > 
> > Oh, I see. Now that's planning ahead.
> 
> How so?

Building a bigger crypt for all the babies you're planning to have,
assuming they all grow up and stay in the area and like you well enough to
share your final humble abode. Just seems a bit ... forward thinking,
considering how loathe most people are to plan for death even when its
breathing down their neck. So to speak, of course. I don't breathe.

> > Alright. Don't worry, I'm not gonna yell at him or anything. I know
> > better than that. It wouldn't help. Just gonna go on quietly thinking
> > he's an idiot. But I was gonna do that anyway. 
> 
> He has his reasons. I respect that.

What are they?

> > But -- yeah, I guess. I dunno. When I had minions, they were all
> > pretty interchangable. Dumb as a brick, and far too enthusiastic. I
> > needed *somebody* to fetch and carry, didn't much care who. 
> 
> Perhaps that's the key?  Perhaps you were good - bad - you know - 
> enough that he had to make the active choice *not* to encourage you?  If
> you were truly "dumb as a brick" perhaps he wouldn't have cared?

Never thought of that. Like it. Doubt its true, but it has a certain ego
soothing appeal.

> > > Rare, unusually perceptive, and completely mental.
> > 
> > That too. Come to think of it, sounds like my favorite kind of person.
> > But I hope you're not *completely* mental just yet, pet. 'Cause I was
> > hoping to drive you crazy with lust. Not quite as much fun if you're
> > already there. 
> 
> Mental enough to agree to all of this and to miss your company.  Lucky
> for you.

Incredibly lucky. Believe me, I feel it. Day you came up to visit was the
luckiest day I've had in a *long* time.

> > > > [grin] Told you I'd like almost anything you called me.
> > > 
> > > Susan?
> > 
> > That would be the almost bit.
> 
> I'm glad we have our boundaries.

Just checking?  'Cause I really don't think I look like a Susan.

--Spike

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> > Yes, but this is Angel's sense of honor we're talking about, which
> > would have him cheerfully swallow a Holy Water cocktail if he felt it
> > was the "right thing". 
> 
> Ow, ow, and furthermore, bloody ow. 

You know he'd do it. Wouldn't even think twice about it either.

> Building a bigger crypt for all the babies you're planning to have,
> assuming they all grow up and stay in the area and like you well enough
> to share your final humble abode. Just seems a bit ... forward thinking,
> considering how loathe most people are to plan for death even when its
> breathing down their neck. So to speak, of course. I don't breathe. 

Yes but families often have a potential to be quite large no matter what
so unless something kills them all out at once - which doesn't really
remove the need for a crypt in the first place - a large crypt is a fairly
safe investment.  

> > He has his reasons. I respect that.
> 
> What are they?

Er - we've never spoken of it.  As I said, it's a difficult topic for him.

> > Perhaps that's the key?  Perhaps you were good - bad - you know -
> > enough that he had to make the active choice *not* to encourage you? 
> > If you were truly "dumb as a brick" perhaps he wouldn't have cared?
> 
> Never thought of that. Like it. Doubt its true, but it has a certain ego
> soothing appeal.

Why not allow yourself to be soothed then?

> > Mental enough to agree to all of this and to miss your company.  Lucky
> > for you.
> 
> Incredibly lucky. Believe me, I feel it. Day you came up to visit was
> the luckiest day I've had in a *long* time. 

I enjoyed it too.

> Just checking?  'Cause I really don't think I look like a Susan.

I didn't want to say anything but... it's your hair. There. I've spoken it
and we can now at least be honest with one another.

Wesley

***

To: Angel
From: Spike

> > There's got to be a better way. Can't say its leaping to mind,
> > however.

> Yeah. Unfortunately.

Space suits?

> > > She was coming after me anyway.

> > Not so much, no. If you'd had the sense to get the hell out of town
> > and leave me and Dru in peace, I really doubt she'd have gone hunting
> > you. Hell, you kept sending her challenges and she *still* couldn't do
> > it till you killed the teacher. Maybe not even then. 

> Principle of the thing.

Um.  Yeah. Okay. Sure. No, wait, not sure. A) We're vampires, we don't
have principles. We have whims. And B) even if we did, what the fuck
principle is that? Thou shalt kill the slayer in a really long and boring,
obsessive compulsive disorder sort of way because, um, thou just shalt?

> > Okay. I give up. I don't think I'm ever gonna understand this one.
> > Didn't love her. Didn't hate her. Then why *bother*? You were never
> > obsessed with Slayers like I was, and even I just wanted a nice clean
> > smash up and a lovely snack for afters, not a bloody opera. 
> 
> She got to Angel.  

Yeah? So? I love you, you know that, but *brown rice* gets to you. *Movies
about robots that learn how to love* get to you. *Bad hair days* get to
you. Not like she was unique in that regard. Okay, yeah, a tiny bit more
serious. But you got to her just as bad, if not worse.

> > > Dunno if I'd count that as "saved".
> > 
> > What would you count, then? They did the best they could, what with
> > you tryin' to get that Acathla bugger to open his big mouth an' all. 
> 
> Not blaming 'em.  Did what they had to. I get that.

Glad you're not. But still, serious question. What would would you count
as saved?

> > > You wouldn't want to watch?
> > 
> > Nah. Would if you told me to, of course, 'cause, well, yeah. I do
> > that. But as far as fun goes, I doubt that fucking conscience would
> > let you do it nearly hard enough. And I'd be so damned frustrated at
> > not bein' able to join in I couldn't enjoy it even if you did. 
> 
> This is heading into a very scary mental place.

Hey, you started it.

> > You are a sad, sick man, my friend. No wonder I like you so much. Now
> > all you need is a glittery leisure suit to be the master of
> > ceremonies. 
> 
> Could ask the Host where he shops.

Now I've *got* to meet this guy.

--Spike


***

To: Spike
From: Angel

> > Yeah. Unfortunately.
> 
> Space suits?

I don't look good in white.

> > Principle of the thing.
> 
> Um.  Yeah. Okay. Sure. No, wait, not sure. A) We're vampires, we don't
> have principles.

I did. Do.

> We have whims. And B) even if we did, what the fuck
> principle is that? Thou shalt kill the slayer in a really long and
> boring, obsessive compulsive disorder sort of way because, um, thou just
> shalt? 

Pretty much.

> > She got to Angel.  
> 
> Yeah? So? I love you, you know that, but *brown rice* gets to you.
> *Movies about robots that learn how to love* get to you. *Bad hair
> days* get to you. Not like she was unique in that regard. Okay, yeah, a
> tiny bit more serious. But you got to her just as bad, if not worse. 

It's different.

> Glad you're not. But still, serious question. What would would you
> count as saved? 

Dunno.  

> > Could ask the Host where he shops.
> 
> Now I've *got* to meet this guy.

He's cool. 

A.

***

To: Wesley
From: Spike

> > > Yes, but this is Angel's sense of honor we're talking about, which
> > > would have him cheerfully swallow a Holy Water cocktail if he felt
> > > it was the "right thing". 
> > 
> > Ow, ow, and furthermore, bloody ow. 
> 
> You know he'd do it. Wouldn't even think twice about it either.

Yes. 'Cause he's a bleedin' prat. Or 'cause he thinks he deserves it. Or
both. Thankfully I don't suffer from this conscience problem. Not that
anyone's ever offered me a holy water cocktail.

> Yes but families often have a potential to be quite large no matter what
> so unless something kills them all out at once - which doesn't really
> remove the need for a crypt in the first place - a large crypt is a
> fairly safe investment.  

This is true. Unless, like me, you plan to spend your death walkin' about.
And hey, you could still live there. Surrounded by your loved ones. A
thought morbid, though, even for me.

> > > He has his reasons. I respect that.
> > 
> > What are they?
> 
> Er - we've never spoken of it.  As I said, it's a difficult topic for
> him.

You've got a lot more faith than I do, pet. I mean, yeah, I assume he does
have his reasons. Everyone does. But if you think they're worth
respecting, sight unseen, well, personally, I wouldn't bet on it.

> > > Perhaps that's the key?  Perhaps you were good - bad - you know -
> > > enough that he had to make the active choice *not* to encourage you?
> > >  If you were truly "dumb as a brick" perhaps he wouldn't have cared?
> > 
> > Never thought of that. Like it. Doubt its true, but it has a certain
> > ego soothing appeal.
> 
> Why not allow yourself to be soothed then?

Might do. But it seems a bit silly, when I could just ask.

> > > Mental enough to agree to all of this and to miss your company. 
> > > Lucky for you.
> > 
> > Incredibly lucky. Believe me, I feel it. Day you came up to visit was
> > the luckiest day I've had in a *long* time. 
> 
> I enjoyed it too.

I'm glad, pet. I can't wait to see you again, and remind you of some of
the benefits of madness.

> > Just checking?  'Cause I really don't think I look like a Susan.
> 
> I didn't want to say anything but... it's your hair. There. I've spoken
> it and we can now at least be honest with one another.

Bloody git. I am so goin' to get you for that when I see you. I'm gonna
make you beg for mercy. Or for something, anyway.

--Susan

***

To: Spike
From: Wesley

> > You know he'd do it. Wouldn't even think twice about it either.
> 
> Yes. 'Cause he's a bleedin' prat. 

I agree wholeheartedly.

> Or 'cause he thinks he deserves it. Or both.

Or he believes that he can take the pain of the world and therefore make
it better.

> Thankfully I don't suffer from this conscience problem. Not that
> anyone's ever offered me a holy water cocktail. 

I'm sure I could find someone on the Council who'd take to the idea.

> This is true. Unless, like me, you plan to spend your death walkin'
> about. And hey, you could still live there. Surrounded by your loved
> ones. A thought morbid, though, even for me. 

Yes... there is the matter of watching one's loved ones decay.  Perhaps
more than one ever needed to take into the afterlife in terms of happy
memories.

> > Er - we've never spoken of it.  As I said, it's a difficult topic for
> > him.
> 
> You've got a lot more faith than I do, pet. I mean, yeah, I assume he
> does have his reasons. Everyone does. But if you think they're worth
> respecting, sight unseen, well, personally, I wouldn't bet on it. 

I see how much it hurts him when the topic is even remotely raised. I
don't care to hurt him so I don't raise it.

> > Why not allow yourself to be soothed then?
> 
> Might do. But it seems a bit silly, when I could just ask.

Not as easy when the shoe is on the other foot now is it?

> > I enjoyed it too.
> 
> I'm glad, pet. I can't wait to see you again, and remind you of some of
> the benefits of madness. 

Here's hoping the madness will allow me to remember them.

> > I didn't want to say anything but... it's your hair. There. I've
> > spoken it and we can now at least be honest with one another.
> 
> Bloody git. I am so goin' to get you for that when I see you. 

What?  You accuse me of so many things, Spike, I hardly know where 
you're coming from.

> I'm gonna make you beg for mercy. Or for something, anyway.

Oh really?

> --Susan

You're very charming.

Wesley