My Winter Solstice gift to myself – using money which was someone else’s Christmas gift to me – was a small sketchbook and some pens. The goal was to give myself a place where by definition things could not be perfect. Pens can’t be erased. Any mistakes (like when I got the year wrong in the date of my first picture above) would have to stay.
I want to encourage myself to relax more with my pictures. The pens I got both draw quickly and dry quickly. The goal is to make pictures that are more about capturing a moment and not about obsessing with being perfect.
Something like this is huge for me. The fear of doing things wrong can be paralyzing. People who have read the blog so far know that my perfectionism/mental stuff can take the form of freaking out when Willow eats the banana, lunchtime be damned, because OMG BANANAS ARE FOR LUNCHTIME FOR A REASON AND IF YOU EAT TOO SOON YOU’LL HAVE DONE IT WRONG AND STARVE!!!
Here there’s no choice. Except the choice to accept that the style is quick, and messy, and not about being photo-realistic.
It’s a sign of huge progress for me to attempt this sort of thing. Heck, when I started I accidentally skipped a page between the first and second drawings. So the third picture, this one of Luna, went on page 2 even though that meant the dates were out of order. Those of you who understand perfectionism understand why this is a big deal. Those of you who don’t should just accept that even being aware of this sort of thing is a sign of what perfectionism can do to you.
I’ve only done these three pictures so far, but I wanted to share.