Angel / Protocol / Part Ten

PART TEN

Angel waited for Wes and Connor to catch up. "Enjoying the tour?"

"Yes, my Lord," Wesley said.

"How do you like the place?" Angel asked.

"It's quite impressive," Wesley said. "Particularly considering the history behind it. Connor was kind enough to fill me in."

"Yeah, so you don't have to tell him that part," Connor said.

Angel and Connor had had this debate before. "It's not boring."

"I never said it was *boring*," Connor said. "I said it takes too long."

"Plus it's boring," Spike added.

"You shut up," Angel said.

Spike made a face at him.

Angel ignored him. "Think you're starting to get a feel for it?"

"As much as one can," Wesley said.

"Think you can be in charge of it?"

To his credit, Wesley barely blinked. "At this very moment, my Lord?"

"As your job," Angel clarified. "I need somebody to take care of running the day to day stuff of this place. Supposedly you guys are good at that."

"It is within our domain, yes, my Lord," Wesley said. "If you wish it of me, I shall be happy to obey."

Angel wished it didn't have to be put into *those* terms, but on the other hand Wes actually looked happy to be given something useful to do. "Okay. Good. Then I want you to start now. Learn everything you need to know about running this place and then take over. Improve it too if you can, but one thing at a time."

"It will be my pleasure," Wesley said. "Does my Lord have an area in particular he wishes me to learn first?"

"Yeah," Angel said. He jabbed his thumb in Spike's direction. "Everything he knows."

Spike's wandering attention was yanked back towards Angel. "You want *what*?"

"Wes needs to know the ins and outs of how this place works," Angel said. "I don't have the time, and you know the answer to that. So start teaching."

Spike started to get a pout on. "Do I *have* to?"

"Yeah, you do," Angel said. He addressed Spike and Wesley both. "Look, whatever it is between the two of you I want it buried. We're a family and a team and I'm not going to stand for this petty bickering over who was on what side before Wes and I got married. We're all on the same side now. I want you to act like it."

"You and I fight all the time," Spike muttered. "Don't see why me and Prince Poncy can't - "

"*Bury* it," Angel told him. "And so help me if you make one more crack like that - "

"Was only kidding," Spike said.

"So *help* me, Spike," Angel warned.

"All right, all right," Spike said. He held his hands up in a gesture of peace. "Don't muss Daddy's precious. Got it."

Angel figured that was the best Spike could offer. He turned to Wesley. "Wes, I know this isn't exactly easy but still, I'd like you to try."

Wes looked as though he couldn't see what the problem was. "My Lord, I shall act in whatever manner you wish."

"You can get along with Spike if I tell you to?" Angel asked, then suddenly got it. "You *have* to get along with Spike if I tell you to."

"I obey your orders, my Lord," Wesley reminded him.

Angel sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Okay, that's not going to work either. Wes, you can't be a zombie around Spike. I need you to be you. Not saying pick a fight with him or anything, but could I maybe order you to do something that's a cross between polite but honest? Maybe get you past all those Council rules that force you to be all quiet and obedient around him?"

Wesley politely cleared his throat. "My Lord, there *are* no Council rules which demand I be quiet and obedient around him."

Angel blinked. "There aren't?"

"No," Wesley said. "I am obedient to *you*. You are my husband. You are the only one that I shall ever obey. Spike, on the other hand…."

"What?" Spike asked, folding his arms and raising his chin to the challenge.

"You are not my husband," Wesley said, "which means I owe you no duty or obedience. You are Angel's grandson, which means that as Angel's spouse and as a prince in my own right I outrank you in every possible way. Moreover you are rude, you violated the rules of protocol, you challenged my standing, and you insulted my husband. With all that to your name not only am I not required by any Council guidelines to be polite to you, but I am well within my rights to ask you to kiss my - " Wesley caught himself, glancing guiltily at Connor, then quickly changing the word " - backside. Is that understood?"

Spike started forward. "Oh I'll give you something to kiss, you arrogant little - "

Angel put a hand out, holding him back. "Wait. Just wait." He turned to Wesley. "*What* was *that*?"

Wesley bowed his head. "I'm sorry, my Lord. I did not mean to speak out of turn."

"No, no, no," Angel said. "Come back here. I've been racking my brains out trying to figure out a way to make sure you don't get used like some kind of doormat and all this while you had *that* stored away in you? Where was that kind of talk back when we were in the bedroom?"

There was a moment of silence. Angel became keenly aware that Spike and Connor were staring at him.

"When we were having *conversation*," Angel explained. "Not, you know, with the - it's none of your business anyway, you know that?"

"I am to be dutiful to my husband," Wesley reminded him.

"But you were all formal around Connor," Angel said.

"Yes, because he is your son," Wesley said. "And very clearly important to you. I shall be polite and dutiful to anyone you wish, but at the time of your asking Spike was not on that list. He had rather firmly taken himself off of it. It would have been a violation of the rules to *be* polite to him, particularly given the way he insulted you."

"Why - out of curiosity," Angel asked Spike, "where you insulting me to my new husband?"

"Not that I don't ever," Spike said, "but not really sure how I did it this time. Never even once mentioned the horror that is your hair."

"He attempted to command me," Wesley said. "Which is an attempt to usurp your place, and implies that you cannot inspire loyalty within your spouse. It was an insult."

"I can handle it," Angel said. "Not that I don't appreciate the effort but you don't need to - whatever - snub Spike because the Council rules said you had to."

"Actually the Council rules say I can ask to have him killed," Wesley said.

"Well we're not doing that either," Angel said.

"See, this is why I don't like his kind," Spike said.

"I wouldn't have asked for it, my Lord," Wesley said, trying to be helpful.

"Right, because you can't ask for anything," Angel said.

"True," Wesley said, "but also because he apparently matters to you. Your needs - "

" - outweigh any of your own," Angel finished.

" - come first," Wesley said, but he nodded his head with agreement.

"That's not fair," Connor said. "I mean - not that I want Uncle Spike killed or anything - "

"Fond of you too, Junior," Spike said.

"But that's not fair," Connor said. He appealed to Angel. "Dad, Wes is a person."

"I know," Angel said, not wanting to get into the ins and outs of what even he had to admit was formalized slavery. "But he comes from a different culture. We have to respect that."

"This is what I want, Connor," Wesley said. "I was raised to do this job. Being allowed to do it makes me happy."

"But why does Dad get more of a say than you?" Connor asked.

"It is my job to serve your father," Wesley said.

"And it's mine to take care of Wes," Angel added. "He's not being ignored, son. I promise. Wes does what he can to take care of me and help me out around here, and I do what I can to take care of him and make sure he's happy. It's just… a little more complicated then the way your mother and I used to go about it."

"There are rules that I must follow for political reasons," Wesley explained. "Those rules guide how I may interact with others. But I assure you they do not make me unhappy."

"It's like saying please and thank you," Angel said. "But with a lot more words."

Connor looked uncertain. "O… kay."

Spike wiped a hand over his mouth to hide a smirk. He leaned in, and whispered quietly enough for only Angel to hear, "Definitely your lad. Already trying to help out a hopeless case."

"Wes is fine," Angel promised Connor.

"In fact," Wesley added, "were anyone to attempt to break those rules it would turn out quite badly for me. The Council would hear of it, and I would be put into disgrace. That's why Spike's attempt to solicit my disobedience was such a dire crime."

"Won't do it again," Spike assured him.

"And I won't demand that a broomstick be shot through your heart," Wesley said right back. "You see? We're getting along already."

"Great," Angel said, feeling that the conversation had definitely gotten off the rails he'd intended to put it on. "So everybody's getting along with everybody, nobody's unhappy, and Wes I need you to learn everything you can about running this place, starting with Spike."

"Of course, my Lord," Wesley said.

Spike was back on sulky. "Do I *have* - no, wait!" Spike snapped his fingers triumphantly. "Charlie!"

Angel turned around to look for him before realizing Spike was offering a suggestion. "What?"

"He's the man your boy should talk to, instead of me," Spike said. He turned to Wes, smiling happily. "You'll like him. Knows all the paperwork and boring bits and he actually thinks you're somewhat interesting."

"He *does* know more about it than Uncle Spike does," Connor said.

"I can learn from whomever my Lord wishes," Wesley said.

"Okay, fine, make it Gunn then," Angel said. "I don't care. Long as it happens. And you two aren't off the hook. I want you getting along, even if you're avoiding each other."

"Avoiding each other is *how* we're getting along," Spike said.

"Whatever it takes," Angel said.

"Would my Lord care for me to seek out Charles now?" Wesley asked.

"Yeah," Angel said. "Anybody know where he is?"

"Might be in the dining area," Connor said.

"Know where that is?" Angel asked Wes.

"I believe I do," Wesley said.

Angel decided Wes didn't sound certain enough. "Connor? Can you take him there for me?"

"Sure," Connor said. He motioned for Wes to follow him. "C'mon. If he's not there I know a couple of other places we can try."

Wes looked at Angel quizzically. "My Lord?"

"Go on," Angel told him. He thought about it, then reached out and squeezed Wes's hand. "And you're still doing great."

Wes gave a brilliant smile at that, then went to join Connor.

***

"But I am *suffering*," Xander said.

"Suffering," Faith repeated. She snagged an orange out of a pile of fruit being readied for dinner and began to peel it in thick, leathery chunks.

"Suffering," Xander said. "Because the well is empty. It has run dry. I put the bucket down and come up with seriously pissed-off frogs - "

"Xander!" Willow glared at him.

"Snakes then," Xander amended. "Or turtles that weren't busy being on top of fenceposts. Or any other animal that lives at the bottom of the well when the water's not there because my *point* is that the well is dry. It is without water. Moisture-challenged. Leading an H2O free lifestyle. Yin to every ocean's yang."

"Would ocean be a good comparison?" Willow asked. "Because of the salt?"

"Possibly no," Xander said. "But my question is not one of science so much as - "

" - gossip," Faith said. She dumped her peels onto the wooden table, then began to eat the orange section by section. "I mean that's what this is, right? You want to sit here like some old bitty and cluck your tongue over the new kid while you hide behind your knitting needles. But there's nothing new to talk about so now you're just bitching."

"I like to think I would pick a hobby more manly than knitting," Xander said. "Whittling, perhaps. I could sit and cluck and then ironically make ducks. Very good ones too, if you don't mind them looking exactly like stakes."

"Who cares?" Faith asked.

"You know I would think as a friend that my hobbies would be important to you," Xander said.

"About the *new guy*," Faith said. "So he's new, who cares? He's just a guy."

"I think it's a little interesting," Willow said. "I mean - Council. That's pretty big. Plus he's married to Angel."

"I keep trying to ask myself who I feel sorry for in that equation," Xander said.

"Angel's a good guy," Faith said.

"I grudgingly admit yes," Xander said. "But overlarge with the personable and wonderfully schmoopy romantic traits he is not. Though if your ideal husband is a walking dead version of Tarzan, I'd have to imagine that Angel's just the dreamboat you're looking for."

"It's a business arrangement though," Willow said. "This guy is a pro. Well - pro with the husband aspects. Not 'pro' like *pro* like - "

"Actually I hear they're quite the pros in that area as well," Faith said. "Angel may be in for a rockin' good time."

"And thank you for *that* mental image," Xander told her.

"But that's just my point," Willow said. "Angel hasn't - you know - for quite a while. And now he's married to this guy who's all business and contracts and politics. What if he wants to fall in love? What if he *does* fall in love? Now he's trapped in this with somebody who doesn't care about him."

Faith shrugged. "Just as likely the new guy's going to have the same problem, right?"

"I'd say very," Xander said. "Particularly considering how often vampires don't make the Council's annual top ten list of most eligible bachelors."

"You think he's coming into this hating Angel," Willow said.

"I think he's coming into this hating pretty much everybody," Xander said. "Or at least everyone who doesn't have a pulse. And if what Spike said about meeting him is true then it's possible the pulse doesn't matter."

"But - his first day," Willow said, comfortable in her role of devil's advocate. "He might have been tired. Or nervous."

"Or maybe Spike was copping 'tude," Faith said. Done eating, she wiped her sticky hands onto her pants legs. "You know, none of the servants that have gone up there since he arrived have said he's been nasty to them. Far as I'm concerned, there's your litmus test."

"You wouldn't place being able to get along with vampires just an *eensy* bit higher on the grading curve?" Xander asked. "Since he married one of those and not a scullery maid?"

"Hey, time was I hated vampires too," Faith said. "I learned to get over it. Or at least recognize the good ones. New guy can't do it yet, then he can learn to."

"But *will* he?" Xander asked. "And thus we are back onto my plea for new information. Someone. Anyone. Keep me entertained."

"Hey," Connor said, entering the room.

"Connor," Xander said, making a grand gesture of welcome. "The one. The only. My favorite Con-man."

Connor raised his eyebrows. "We're back on thinking that nickname is funny?"

"What news?" Xander asked. "Have you met the new step-dad yet? Is he nice? Is he awful? Is he hideously ugly and possibly possessed of some kind of behavioral pattern or even middle name that we all will think is humorous in some fashion?"

"Well my first name is Prince," Wesley said, entering the room behind Connor. "And my second is 'Angel's husband'. I don't know how much of a laugh riot you'll find either of those in the grand scheme of things but there they are for what they're worth."

Xander shot Connor a glare. "You couldn't *tell* me he was right behind you?"

Connor shrugged. "Figured it'd be funny to see the look on your face."

"Absolutely no doubt who this kid is related to," Xander said to no one in particular.

Faith stood up, giving her hand an extra wipe just to be on the safe side. "Hey. I'm Faith. It's nice to meet you."

"Faith and Dad are good friends," Connor said, quickly. "She's also a Slayer."

"A Slayer who is friends with a vampire?" Wesley asked.

"Hey, stranger things have happened," Faith said.

"I suppose so," Wesley said. He took Faith's hand, turning it over so that he could kiss it, rather than shake. "Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, spouse to his Majesty Angel. It's an honor to meet you."

Faith squirmed, not sure if she should stay still or curtsey or what. "Um… great. Congratulations, I guess. On that wedding thing."

"Thank you," Wesley said.

Connor stepped forward with more introductions. "That's Willow, she's also a good friend of Dad's."

Willow waved, but did not stand. "Hi."

Wesley gestured between her and Faith. "Are you also - "

"Oh no," Willow said. "Just a witch."

"Even so," Wesley said, giving a modified bow from where he stood. "It's a pleasure."

"And that's Xander," Connor said.

"*Not* a good friend of Angel's," Xander said, then instantly amended it. "Well we get along. We do all right. We work together. It's a male bonding thing that is in no way hindered by the fact that he's proven that he can wipe the floor with me on more than one occasion. I still say I could take him if he'd just stop cheating with that whole being undead and a thousand times more powerful than us mere mortals thing."

"I… see," Wesley said.

"Xander and Uncle Spike - " Connor started, then immediately stopped himself. "Actually, maybe we better not get into that right now."

"Still getting along are they?" Xander asked.

Connor grimaced. "Like a house on fire. Literally."

"My Lord has asked us to make peace," Wesley said. "I shall respect his desire."

"Well that's very… religious of you," Xander said.

Faith kicked him underneath the table. "He said *his* Lord, not *the* Lord, idiot."

"Ohh," Xander said. "You mean Angel."

"Yes," Wesley said.

"Everybody here knows Dad from before he was a king," Connor explained. "Dad doesn't make them call him by the title."

"Then I shall follow his lead," Wesley said. "You may call me Wesley. Or - " he gave Connor a small smile " - Wes."

"Are the two of *you* getting along?" Willow asked. "You and Angel, I mean? Must be pretty nerve-wracking, what with the new people and the wedding night and all."

"Angel has been very kind and generous to me," Wesley said. "It's an honor to be married to him."

"If Angel's happy, we're happy," Faith said. "And any friend of the old guy is a friend of ours. You wanna sit, join us? Xander here was just complaining about how he lacked for something interesting to do."

"Thanks for the reminder," Xander said. "Because I really felt we were losing a little too much of that painful awkwardness that we had just five minutes ago."

"The offer is very generous," Wesley said, "but I must decline. My Lord has asked me to learn about running the organization here. I have to find Charles and see what he can teach me."

"Not even a little while?" Willow asked. She tried her best cajoling smile. "There could be snacks. Possibly even ones with chocolate."

"Thank you," Wesley said, "but I can't."

Connor suddenly frowned. "No - wait, Wes, that's not what Dad meant. You can do this. It's okay."

"He asked me to speak with Charles, Connor," Wesley said.

"Yeah, but if he knew about this he'd be all right with it," Connor said. "Wes, I promise. Look, you want me to go ask him? 'cause I know he'll say yes."

"Connor," Wesley said, his voice firmer than before. "Your father asked me to speak with Charles. I will go and speak with Charles. It is not my place to alter that request, nor is it anyone else's to try to do so for me."

"But he'd be okay with this," Connor protested.

"That is not for me to decide," Wesley said. He turned to the others. "Do any of you happen to know where I can find Mr. Gunn?"

"Supply room," Faith said, pointing the way. "Passed through here not long ago. Should still be there."

"Thank you," Wesley said. He inclined his head again. "It was a pleasure meeting all of you."

"Can I get a hands up on who thought that was weird?" Xander asked, after Wesley had left.

"Well, it was… " Willow tried, then gave up when words failed her.

Connor slumped down onto a chair. "It's a rules thing. The Council gave him all these rules to live by and he's not allowed to disobey any of them. Even if they're stupid."

"Why?" Faith asked.

"Because they raised him to be a spouse to somebody," Connor said. "His whole life he's been taught to do nothing except whatever his husband tells him. It's supposed to be some political thing, but I don't get it."

"I guess if you're going to be offered up as the be-all and end-all of human bargaining chips they'd want to make sure you can deliver the goods that your guys promise," Xander said. "Sounds like quality control to me."

Willow frowned, looking at the door Wesley had left in. "I dunno. It sounds lonely, to me."