† The Brat Queen †

DISCLAIMER: The following stories are all non-profit, amateur efforts not intended to infringe on the rights of Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, David Geffen, Warner Brothers, Geffen Pictures, Knopf, Randomhouse, the city of New Orleans, the U.S. Constitution, any copyright holders that I might not have thought of or even a certain author who shall remain nameless but who has a set of initials which are, coincidentally enough, just one letter off from spelling "B.S."

Rats
by The Brat Queen
January 2001

Summary: domestic life isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

Mojo scrabbled along the baseboards of the dining room. From where I sat in the parlor I could hear him making low growls under his breath. Occasionally he barked.

"Lestat."

"Yes?" I replied as I turned the page of the book I was reading. It was one of Stephen Hawking's and I was finding it impossible to follow.

"Lestat." Louis said again, the tone of his voice making it clear that I had erred in some way.

"Yes?" I said again, actually putting my book down this time. There was another bark from the dining room.

Louis stared at me, looking for all the world like a disapproving statue as he sat at his desk.

"What?" I asked. I held up my book for him to see. "I'm reading."

"Yes, Lestat, I can see that," he said, using my name in that way that only he could. Giving it the slight but crucial inflection which meant he disagreed with me in some manner and felt it should be obvious why.

"So?"

There was a thump, then another bark.

Louis' eyes became sharper, silently answering my question.

"Oh that," I said. I waved it off, sinking back into my chair. "He's got a rat, that's all."

"I know he has a rat, Lestat," Louis said, his voice pitched to give me the full effect of his disapproval. "Make him stop."

I frowned. "Why?"

"He's tearing up the wall!"

I shrugged. "So we'll fix it. It's not like we can't afford it, Louis."

"That's hardly the point now, is it?" Louis said. He folded his arms. That was never a good sign. Typically it meant that he had no intentions of changing his mind.

"What is the point then?" I asked. I gestured towards the dining room, where the sound of Mojo's claws scraping against the floor could still be heard. "He's having fun. Let him. Be glad we have a pet that amuses himself. Puts him a far sight ahead of many members of our so-called family."

"First of all, I don't recall actually agreeing to have a pet -"

I winced. Trust him to bring that up.

" - and second whatever resides in this home should treat it respectfully. A great deal of work went into restoring it -"

"All mine, thank you," I reminded him.

Louis ignored me. " - and I do not intend to throw that away."

"The building was falling down to the ground when I came back," I replied, closing my book once more, "and it will fall down to the ground yet again. What's a little damage here and there? Besides, he's only trying to do us a favor by rooting it out."

"He's destroying valuable materials," Louis said, looking at me pointedly when another thump could be heard. "I prefer things to remain in one piece." His expression softened just by a hair. "Lestat, please. Just get the animal out."

"Mojo or the rat?"

"Either."

I decided to agree, but only because he'd smiled in spite of himself when saying the last remark.

"I'm doing this as a favor to you, you know," I said as I passed him.

"Consider it material for your next book."

I saw the joke coming long before he said it.

"The Vampire Le-"

"Rat," I finished, rolling my eyes at him. "Yes, very funny."

He smiled smugly. "I thought so."

"You're adorable. Come here, boy," I said to Mojo as I entered the dining room. One of the chairs had been knocked on its side, undoubtedly by a sweep of his still-wagging tail. I knelt down and scratched behind his ears, praising him for his work. "What do you want me to do with it once I'm done? Shall I just give it to him?"

From where I knelt I could see Louis look at me quizzically. "What would he do with it?"

"Eat it, presumably."

"That's disgusting."

"Yes, as though you or I could make a judgment call about that." I waited, slightly tense, until the remark took effect. It had the potential to make him lash out at me but I hoped he'd remember I'd included myself as well.

If the words had hurt him he gave no sign. "I don't care what you do with it. But release it outside if you give it to Mojo. I don't want them running around and knocking things over."

"Fine," I said. I motioned for Mojo to sit still and listened at the wall. Then, using my own skills and a bit of razzle-dazzle I guided the animal towards the kitchen. Once it reached an opening by the pipes I snatched it up and held it in my fist. It immediately tried to bite me. "Vicious little bastard," I said, raising my voice so Louis could hear. "I wonder if it has friends."

"This is New Orleans, it undoubtedly has its own civilization," Louis replied.

"Sure you're not hungry?"

"Put it outside, Lestat," he said, as though teaching a wayward child.

"Your loss." I walked over to the door, watching the surprisingly small creature as I did. Its dark eyes twinkled in the moonlight and I could feel the sharpness of its claws against my skin, even if they did no harm to me. I called Mojo over as I opened the door and pitched the rat outside for him. He ran out at once to catch it. I left the door ajar enough for him to come back in once he was done and rejoined Louis in the parlor.

"Thank you," Louis said. He reached out to touch me as I came near. He smiled. And this, too, was something only he could do. Smile in a way that connected us both. I wished that I had half the ability to do the same.

But I was glad that at least in some way I had been able to cause it.

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